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Waiting to have sex

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Motto, Apr 28, 2014.

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  1. Motto

    Motto
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    Okay, I feel pretty vulnerable sharing this, but I figured what the hell, I don't know anybody here in person. :slight_smile: I'm a Christian, and I want to wait to have sex until I am in a committed, monogamous, marriage-like relationship. Sometimes I feel like I am the only gay man on the planet who wants to wait. Is there anybody else out there who is waiting to have sex or knows someone who is? Does this seem totally unrealistic?
     
    #1 Motto, Apr 28, 2014
  2. BelleFromHell

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    Hell no!

    I'm not a Christian, but I still don't want to give myself up until I'm with the woman of my dreams. I believe sex should come up once a strong, loving, committed relationship is formed. :thumbsup:
     
    #2 BelleFromHell, Apr 28, 2014
  3. Chip

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    It's not unrealistic. I know a number of guys who have chosen to wait until they were in a committed relationship.

    The only part that may be hard is typically (but not always) the first relationship isn't the one that ends up being the "keeper." I think that's the case more for LGBT people than for straight people because LGBT people tend to have more "baggage" so it can take more time to find people who are either compatible, far enough along in their own process to be able to sustain a healthy relationship, or self-aware enough to work on it.

    Do keep in mind, though, that while there's nothing wrong with what you're asking for, it isn't common, so you're likely to run into resistance. You'll also want to think through exactly what "having sex" means. Is mutual masturbation sex? Oral sex? Fingering? These are things that I'd give some thought to so if/when the time comes, you have thought it through and made a decision about what you want rather than having to decide in the heat of the moment and possibly being angry with yourself afterwards.
     
    #3 Chip, Apr 28, 2014
  4. all paths

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    You're not alone, Motto. :slight_smile:

    I'm waiting to have sex with my spouse.

    I think it's all too rare these days.

    And I will be super glad to find a wife who was just waiting for me, too. :')
     
    #4 all paths, Apr 29, 2014
  5. BornAnew

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    wow I really respect you guys :slight_smile: . More power to you!!!!
     
    #5 BornAnew, Apr 29, 2014
  6. flyinhernikes

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    deffo not unrealistic, as everyone is different.
     
    #6 flyinhernikes, Apr 29, 2014
  7. gibson234

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    I wish I had the "choice" to wait.

    If you want to wait go ahead. But make sure it for reasons other than an ancient book telling you to.
     
    #7 gibson234, Apr 29, 2014
  8. Story Jinx

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    Personally, I couldn't wait, I would have to taste the person before, I was in a 10 years relationship (and married) and the sex was bad...
    Never again XD
     
    #8 Story Jinx, Apr 29, 2014
  9. Aussie792

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    I have no intention to wait, nor do I respect someone who waits until marriage for sex more than I do someone who has a fresh partner each week. It's not a reflection on someone's moral character, and the belief in sexual purity (subtle or obvious) and an implied or even explicit belief in subsequent superiority is often what drives pre-marital sexual abstincence.

    It's not unrealistic at all, nor that uncommon. Just make sure your motives are right, or else you won't be doing yourself a favour.
     
    #9 Aussie792, Apr 29, 2014
  10. FireSmoke

    FireSmoke Guest

    Unusual decision (that I don't agree) but you have all my respect.
     
    #10 FireSmoke, Apr 29, 2014
  11. awesomeness

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    If you feel obligated to wait because of your Christian beliefs, then that doesn't really make any sense to me honestly. But if you WANT to wait, then that's your choice.
     
    #11 awesomeness, Apr 29, 2014
  12. C P

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    Considering that I pretty much am not interested in sex anyways, I wouldn't consider it unrealistic...but I'm probably in the minority with that.
     
    #12 C P, Apr 29, 2014
  13. happydavid

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    Lets say I admire you!
     
    #13 happydavid, Apr 29, 2014
  14. Cass

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    I wish I had waited. Even most of my fellow Christians haven't managed to do so. If that's what you feel is right then do it. It's not unrealistic, just make sure whoever you are with knows thoes intentions so they don't pressure you
     
    #14 Cass, Apr 29, 2014
  15. Fallingdown7

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    I'm waiting too :slight_smile:
     
    #15 Fallingdown7, Apr 29, 2014
  16. JStevens96

    JStevens96 Guest

    Your morals are some to admire. I am waiting myself :slight_smile:
     
    #16 JStevens96, Apr 29, 2014
  17. apostrophied

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    It's a very big debate inside my mind because in my case I have other factors involved, but as a Christian, I know that the best thing to do is to wait. I definitely admire you for your decision! I really hope you find that special someone who thinks the same way you do!!
     
    #17 apostrophied, Apr 29, 2014
  18. An Gentleman

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    It must take a lot of dedication to commit to that.
    I applaud you. While my own restrictions are different, they also involve a lot of waiting, so I guess I'll be waiting with you.
     
    #18 An Gentleman, Apr 29, 2014
  19. Techno Kid

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    I don't believe in a god, but I can respect waiting to have sex. :slight_smile:
     
    #19 Techno Kid, Apr 29, 2014
  20. Wolf123

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    THIS IS ME TOO^^^^^ I don't see sex as something just to give away. When I meet an awesome person whom I love and who loves me back then I will, but right now I am working on myself which is more important to me at the moment. I am 23 btw.
     
    #20 Wolf123, Apr 29, 2014
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