For me it was way easier to come out as bi than gay. When I tried to come out as gay no one believed me and they all thought it was either a joke or a phase. That really upset me and made me have a panic attack. It was even worse than the homophobic stuff. The homophobic stuff only annoyed me a bit. When I came out as bi I never got those responses. I expected everyone to tell me that it's just a phase, but it only happened once. They were probably thinking in their heads that I'd end up with a guy. I guess I've never gotten true acceptance. I haven't come out in a long time because I don't really think I'm bi anymore. Once I figure out exactly what my sexuality is and enter into a relationship I'll come out again. By then I'll be mentally stronger and have more proof of my sexuality.
Personally, I get a lot of crap from both sides over being bi. I don't think it's "easier" either way. It depends on situations, location, ECT. Like if ur coming out to a largely homophobic community you won't get accepted.
I don't think there is any easier. It is completely dependant on the the people and situation. To say otherwise would seem to show a lack of understanding of the nuances of individual situations. Coming out as bi and coming out as gay both have their unique issues. Happy days
I think it depends on the circumstances. It was certainly easier for ME to accept myself as bi that it was to accept my self as pretty exclusively gay. I also believe people around me will take the news that I'm gay very harshly because I am married to a man. I'm not sure how different that would be without my background though. I think it's a bit of a waste of time to think about who has it harder though.
I didn't vote because the difficulty of coming out comes from the person you are telling, not what you are coming out as.
This conversation is very likely to reduce to oppression Olympics and alienate people without accomplishing anything productive. I honestly don't see the point.
Depends on a lot of factors. For one, depends on who you're coming out to. For two, area and culture. I found that recently coming out as bisexual, it's been a total non-issue. But you might also argue that the fact I'm a trans man kinda renders that unimportant, lol. I don't get a lot of crap for being a bisexual. Hell. Unless I'm in the wrong place, I rarely get crap abou my gender either. I think either way, the issue isn't always oppression but just a lack of knowledge. If people ask questions, they're usually trying to understand, even if the questions seem ignorant. When I came out as lesbian/bisexual about 4-5 years prior, I'd really only come out to mother and friends as the later, publically as the former. If you'd asked me then, I might've said being a lesbian was easier. For one, it was a more concrete queer identity (least that's how I saw it). When you're 14 and saying you're bisexual, you're not taken nearly as seriously as the 14 year old who says they're gay, for the most part.
I'm glad to see that someone understands my thread. I was never asking who has it harder, I was just asking sepcifically about coming out and how smoothly it goes. I guess it's hard to know unless you've come out as both. I think I was accepted more as a bisexual because I'm quite feminine and I don't think most people can imagine me in a real relationship with a woman. They could imagine me experimenting with girls and ending up with a man(the femme bisexual stereotype), but not dating women and being in a serious relationship with a woman.
I think that EC needs to change the very top of the board to "You can't post personal information and you also can't talk about the differences in being L/G and bi." Seriously - it only causes drama and problems. Each person has his or her own story. While there are some instances where being bi is probably easier, there are plenty where they aren't. Heck - the same goes for being, well..everything else!
I voted Bi without really thinking but after consideration I think that at least in my school environment there is a much greater stigma attached to being bi. It is associated with 'attention whoring' and considered not even a real thing until someone actually get's into a relationship. I feel that if someone were to come out as gay then people would take them a lot more seriously. I go to an all boys school by the way so this is a rather select focus group.
I think it's easier for people to understand homosexuality than bisexuality. Some people just can't wrap their heads around the idea of being attracted to more than one gender. Then again, a lot of straight men view women as sexual objects, so they obviously like bisexual women more since lesbians won't sleep with them. It depends...
to me it seems like coming out as bi is easier, I mean especially for those around you. if your out to your parents as bi, they can always hold onto the hope that you will one day marry a person of the opposite gender an have a "real" family. I mean some gay people first come out as bi, even tho they aren't, as a sort of safety net with their loved ones. I believe there are bisexuals but sometimes the ppl who say they are, aren't, it just makes it easier for them.
I used to think that it would be easier to come out as bi, but after further reflection I don't think that's the case. In both cases the most difficult aspect for other people to come to terms with is that you're attracted to the same sex. If you come out as bi, I think a lot of people (particularly family) would really try to persuade you to pursue only your interest in the opposite sex which I think would be come pretty stressful. At least that's what I think my parents would do as long as they felt girls were an option.
I think this is a real concern. For that matter, I wonder how many bisexuals push the same sex attraction to one side and focus on opposite sex relationships because of external pressure, it's an easier road, or whatever.
this thread gives me hope for the LGBTQ community Both of my friends who are bi want to be in male/female-presenting relationships bcuz of this. They are not really pushing their attractions to the side, though, just pursuing a specific kind of relationship. They are definitely grateful that they have that attraction to act on. But they do wish they were straight.
