There was a bit of a heated debate earlier ( please don't rehash that it got closed once let's all let it be ) and it got me thinking about something... We should all take some time to get familiar with a culture that's foreign to us. We spend so long boxed up in our own little worlds, and I feel that it could potentially be beneficial to leave our boxes and invest ourselves into a group that we're maybe aware of, but don't really understand ourselves. I guess you could call it 'walking a mile in someone else's shoes' so to speak. :3 Anyways, given the nature of the fiasco I was in I figured I'd like to start with the Trans community. ^.^ I am aware of the trans community, I am aware of the difficulties they face from others. I am not aware, however, of what it's like. I'm not aware of how it feels. I'm not aware of the struggles they face internally or externally. So to anyone who identifies as trans out there I'd like to learn more about your issues and find a better place of understanding for what you go through. ^^ Please accept my olive branch, and I'd encourage any and all of you out there to find a group who you don't necessarily understand and take a minute to learn more about them. You never know who you could wind up sharing common ground with, or even who could be just as much a powerful ally as a potential threat.
Before I tell you anything I'm going to ask you to attempt a thought experiment I've found helpful in the past. I want you to imagine that you are trans. I'm not going to tell you anything about what that feels like or any clues as to how you might feel. I want you to imagine EXACTLY what it is like to be trans, according to what you think being 'trans' is. Imagine your day from start to finish. You are going to get up, do whatever you think your morning routine would be. Have a day out, perhaps work, perhaps leisure, whatever you like, you are going to come home, you are going to do whatever else you think you might do and then you are going to go to bed. You are going to go to sleep and you are going to dream. I want you to write as many things down as you can about how you felt and what you did during the day. Why am I asking you to do this? The thought experiment works by making you construct a scenario based on the things you THINK you know about a given situation and it blends those things with your own reactions and emotions. What it does is highlights the things that YOU think being 'trans' is about, and how important they would seem to you. The reason I ask you to do this is because it has the potential to highlight any false ideas and any misconceptions very clearly. After all, if you for whatever reason imagined that every trans person gets up and eats a 4 bowls on bran flakes for breakfast, we could tell you it isn't true. You see? It also gives us a starting point, because then it is clear to see how you rate certain things in terms of importance and what you already understand. Have a go
Alright, I can give this a go. *hopes that he doesn't accidentally offend anyone* Well any normal morning will probably start with a shower and getting dressed. I imagine that for someone who feels disconnected from their own gender this might be a tough experience some mornings. Not only because they clothes they may be required to wear to survive the day have zero correlation to how they perceive themselves, but also because whilst getting ready for the day someone who identifies as trans would have to face themselves in the mirror. Don't get me wrong here, I imagine some days this is not problem at all, some days it's just a little uncomfortable, and then some days it's a painful experience. I don't imagine they have the same reaction everyday, but I get the feeling that seeing how not matched up physically to mentally they are can sometimes be a really hard thing for them to do. =/ umm... Then well a typical day is had. So you come and go doing whatever it is you do on any given day. Maybe you go to work ( or school ). In either case every time you have to use the restroom you feel a little awkward about it. On one hand you can avoid ridicule and disdain by going into the bathroom meant for your physical gender, but the price of this would be feeling awkward and out of place. On the other hand you can feel more at ease with yourself and step into the proper restroom, but the price of this is ridicule and shame from others ( possibly violence if you're in a bad place ). I imagine ( so please don't kill me for this ) that sometimes you'll see a cisgender walking by and feel a swell of envy towards them. You find yourself silently wishing that you could be them. You wish that you were that gender physically because you feel so wrong being in the body you're in. It feels wrong, but given the price or given the social stigma or given your situation there is a roadblock in place preventing you from changing your gender to match your mind. Also, this comes from me personally. If I were to imagine that I wanted to be a girl, I would be bummed. Not because there is anything wrong with being trans, and while since I'd be trans myself there would be body dysphoria issues that also isn't what would necessarily bum me out. This comes from me personally ( I won't attatch it to anyone else ) but I'd not get a sex change ( at least not at the current point in medical technology ). I'd not want to partially change, I'd want to fully change. I'd want to be 100% physically female and there is a very very very large part of that missing in current technology. I'd feel like I was wearing a really detailed costume more than actually having become what I wanted/longed to be. ^^' Well that's my answer to your thought experiment *hides in the corner in case he offended anyone*
Largely trying to stay completely out of this, in light of the fracas from last night which I was not a part of. However, perspective is not a bad thing for all parties to gain if a sense of proportion is to descend on the proceedings, however they develop; civilly, hopefully. So I'm just going to place this link here as a (milder) example of some of the kinds of violence transpersons potentially confront every day and how it informs the lives they lead: Baltimore police investigate brutal attack on trans woman at local McDonald’s – LGBTQ Nation Sadly, I don't have a congruent example from the "other" side because I was completely unaware of their existence as recently as 24 hours ago. Perhaps anyone belonging to or familiar with this community can contribute some like perspective.
Nah, see what you did was you told me what it's like for a trans person. I asked you to tell me what it's like for YOU! That might seem like a small difference, but I assure you it changes the answer significantly. Imagine yourself in a body that doesn't feel like yours. Take that body out into the world. You can either spend your time pretending you are fine with it, OR you can try and persuade other people to see that body differently. Or both. Imagine yourself with the wrong body, and try the experiment again
I think that entire thread could have been avoided if people just didn't treat Tumblr as a good place to gain perspective, because it's kind of a cesspool.
Since graduating culture, I've become much more acquainted with groups/cultures that I was not previously familiar with. I spent my entire academic life, from preschool to college, in Catholic schools, surrounded by mostly Irish and Italians, a few Polish and Germans, maybe 2 or 3 Hispanics and 1 token black student. All from Catholic backgrounds. Very homogenous. Since graduating college, I've become very active in my local LGBT center. It's located in a very black (and also increasingly Hispanic) neighborhood. Pretty much the only other white people there are the staff. When I go to groups at the center, I'm pretty much the only white boy in the room. Even though I've always prided myself on being against racism, racism is bad, etc., being surrounded by actual black people on a regular basis, and hearing their experiences, has helped to shake out some of the unconscious prejudices that get built into your head when you are raised in a middle-class white family and are surrounded by white people all your life. It's interesting feeling what it's like to be the minority in the room. So it's been very culturally enriching I suppose. I've also been introduced to the Jewish scene in NYC, since I seem to keep dating Jews for some reason, getting introduced to their crowds, and how we live so close to each other yet grew up in such totally different worlds. When I said I went to Catholic school, they wanted to know if I got 'whipped' in school, as if this were the 1950s. :lol: After being surrounded by people from Catholic backgrounds all my life, this new Jewish crowd I was introduced to seemed quite exotic. I think it's fun being immersed in different cultures and backgrounds. It gets boring being surrounded by the same kind of people all the time.
I'm sorry, I'll try this again ^^' So I suppose the first thing would still be waking up in the morning. I'd have to get dressed, and I'm staring at a field of skirts and dresses that I'm expected to wear ( This is easier for me if I jump into the opposite gender...I'm imagining that for whatever reason I'm now female ) To me it all looks weird, and the thought of even putting it on makes my skin crawl. Still, I know it's expected of me so I don't have much of a choice. So with an overwhelming sense of disgust I make the move to wear them. ( Even going on female perspective this is sorta difficult to capture for me...I have mixed feelings about presenting myself femininely ^^' ) Actually going outside is even worse than just having to put the clothes on. I feel weird in them, and even worse it feels like I'm doing something wrong. I can't be sure, but I'd feel like everyone's eyes were on me. I'd feel like I was being watched and judged by everyone around me. It'd make me uneasy. I try to have a casual conversation with people. Of course they call me 'she' and 'her' because on the outside I appear that way. This is a bit unsettling, I don't feel like a 'she' or a 'her'. I'm more like a 'he' and a 'him'. Despite that I can either choose to take on a field of hatred from others, or keep quiet and just pretend it doesn't bother me. Sadly, I'm the type who'd keep quiet and just take it ( I really mean that, I'm one of those 'doormat' kinda people ) So the day isn't exactly the best ever, but as a regular thing for me I've become used to it. It's easy to dissociate myself with my feelings and that makes it easy for me to handle the stress that comes with everything I've had to deal with just this far. So bathroom break time...but which do I choose? *refers to previous post on this one because this still goes roughly the same way* After some awkward bathroom time, it's back to a day filled with uncomfortable clothes and people calling me the wrong things. =( Finally I get home and it's pretty much collapse in bed pass out and do it again the next day... heh, well that sounds rather sad and hopeless ^^'
See the difference? In your first attempt you told me what you might feel, in your second you told me WHY and how that affects you.
Yeah I can imagine that it wouldn't be pleasant. Even thinking about it in those terms I still can't imagine how it must feel in practice. I was still only speaking theoretically, I imagine those feelings in practice are hard to cope and deal with.
