Getting revenge on a bully.

Well one time this one bitch said I was selling my ass on the street and that I fuck donkeys in my free time and I said hey listen u ugly fucking fat ass bitch stop saying shit like that she still does and I still tell her off. But you'll feel better when u say that to them.

 

How old are you?

Since I have got older all the bullies seem to be druggy's whinging about the government cutting their welfare payments, while the victims are going well academically or having good jobs. Just give it time so see how pathetic their lives went without using direct action, a mere chuckle is good enough.

Read my signature.

 

I wish that I knew myself. What ever you do, I advise choosing legal means. Many users are probably going to come in here and tell you revenge is not a good idea. You can go ahead and just ignore them.

 

Forgive me for getting all philosophical on you, but dude, if you set out for revenge then the bully has already beat you.

Seriously, it is IMPOSSIBLE for you to get him back SO BADLY that you can make him pay for any damage he has done to you AS WELL AS all the effort you had to put in to get revenge on him.

It won't make you happier, it'll just make you more pissed off, because nothing you do will be enough.

 

It's not worth it. What little emotional satisfaction you accomplish won't be worth all the downsides. The past isn't irrelevant, but you can't reverse it and actively pursuing revenge isn't healthy in this situation. If you come across them, confront them about it; it can be an eye-opener for them (and possibly for you), but don't seek them out to deliver your private justice.

You are not "as bad as them" for wanting revenge (EC has a horrible complex of not understanding how bullying and oppression works, so you might be criticised heavily), the chances of doing yourself any good aren't high.

 

Humiliate him with logic in front of many people.

 

Put it this way, you split a guy up with his girlfriend and get him kicked out of uni you have 2 things coming your way.

1. Doesn't matter if he deserves it, you (and I quote...) "haven't seen him in years. So to everyone observing, YOU just acted like a COMPLETE dick for no apparent reason. I know YOU know there is a reason for it, but do you think everyone else who knows him does? Do you think his girlfriends friends know he bullied you?

2. Unless you have actual honest reasons to get him kicked out of school, you risk getting in trouble yourself.

Ask yourself this.

Your problem at the moment as you describe it, is the fact that he appears to be doing well and you don't.

First of all, almost everyone appears to be doing well from the outside. Heck, I bet I look pretty happy to most people who see me and I'm broke in more ways than I can count. I'm not saying he ISN'T doing well, I'm just point out that he isn't necessarily doing as well as he seems.

But that's hardly going to change your feelings so I'll point out something else.

If you take this guy down, and I mean really turn his life to shit, how has your life improved? It hasn't. At all. You get to feel smug that something bad happened to the guy and then two things become apparent.

1. You just ruined a guys life (as you said, anything less wouldn't be enough)

2. Your life is still shit.

 

ElliaOtaku's right. Your main goal must involve bettering yourself. Ruining someone else's life in that way is likely to achieve nothing or make things even worse for yourself.

 

Well put it this way, you just told us about the plan so no offense but I don't think you're exactly the criminal mastermind type who can pull off a break-up and/or getting kicked out of uni without someone tracing it back to you.

Heck, I'm struggling to think of ways you could do it myself, because either YOU tell his GF something, in which case she knows. Or you tell someone else to tell his GF something, in which case that person knows and all his GF has to do is ask (or a potentially violent, pissed off boyfriend and friends). Or you can send something anonymously but what are you going to do...stalk the guy and send pictures of him cheating or something? Because that's going to land you on a watch list or two.

 

We got people in our past we dislike with passion and every reminder of them make us cringe. I think it is ok to reflect on the horrors of your past as long as your not self destructive and getting revenge is very self destructive. Do I dislike those who have hurt me for no good reason of course I do but getting revenge sounds devilish and not healthy.

A healthy kind of revenge is too live your life full of joy and doing what makes you happy because that is what bullies try to stop you from doing. Living your life feeling you have to take revenge out on others will just cause you to stop living life and you might end up a unhappier because of it. Basically when you live your life looking for revenge your bullies are winning. So live your life according to what makes you safe and happy and they will never win.

 

I dunno. I suppose, for me, it comes down to one thing. Has he changed? Because if he has, then don't do it. There is far too much evil in this world to dissuade people from changing by punishing them after they've reformed. If he hasn't, then it's different. Then, you might be justified.

I've known many bullies in my life, so don't think I can't empathise with you. I've never had the misfortune to meet one again, though. In so much as what I would do, I wouldn't. I would act to defend others if the bully still bullied. But as someone who's suffered a lot as a result of bullying, then got my life together and moved on, I can promise you that revenge won't find you the peace you need.

You have a choice, right now. I'm not saying that an act of revenge would make you as bad as the bully, because I do understand where you're coming from. I'm just saying that it isn't the bullying that makes victims of bullying good people. It's you, your choice and commitment. If you want to be a better person, then it's up to you to become one.

 

I wouldn't. When I was AT secondary school I wanted revenge on the bullies. I was bullied by most people, and that unfortunately isn't an exaggeration. Heck, I had 4 friends through most of secondary school and one of them bullied me...

Anyway I wanted revenge. Of COURSE I did. Actually one of them went out of secondary school, got into drugs, robbed his grandmother and ran off to spain. I THINK he ended up selling his body then came back and got arrested because his grandmother turned him in.

I had nothing to do with it, but that is one of those 'karma is a bitch' moments. You know what...I felt fuck all. At the time I remember laughing about it, because he was a dick and he got treated like shit. Sure as heck doesn't feel so funny now. I freely admit I don't give a DAMN if his life got better after that or if he just up and died. I don't care AT ALL, because you know what...I don't think about that guy EVER unless things like this thread come up. Even now I can list 100 things he did to make my life hell and all I am able to think of is 'well, he was a dick'.

Another bully got a sick kind of cosmic payback. While we were in secondary school at the height of the bullying his brother got in a car crash and died. We were told to make sympathy cards. My friends (who got bullied by this guy literally every single day without fail) felt no sympathy for this guy and didn't make one. Every single person in that school including the teachers knew we were bullied by that guy and his friends, and guess who wound up being hated? Not him that's for damn sure.

So there is two of a list of examples of bullies who got literally the worst karmic punishment I think you can get. Doesn't make me feel any better about things. Their lives got completely shitty after what appeared to be a pretty good time at secondary school. So, there is one part for you, someone elses misfortune doesn't make YOUR misfortune any easier to bare.

I see where you are coming from, but lets take a look at the other side. There are plenty of people who bullied me in school who appear to be doing better than me.

I have a zero hours contract job. Sometimes I can go weeks without employment.
I'm single and have been my entire life except for 6 months.
I'm broken in so many ways. I am miserably depressed.
I've spent most of my teen/adult life suicidal.
I still live with my parents.
All my friends live miles away from me.
I'm average in my studies at best.
Oh yeah and I'm the only trans person I know of in my village in the middle of nowhere, so my chances of finding love are slim to none.
I could go on.

Now I know plenty of bullies who have their own businesses. Some just have full time jobs. Some have wives and girlfriends and children of their own. I've TAUGHT some of their children for goodness sake. They have friends and go out and have fun. They have cars and nice clothes. All sorts. Plenty of them.

You know what, their lives probably aren't that great, but they certainly seem pretty good from where I'm sitting because it's EASY for me to list crappy things about my life.

So if I managed to take them down then what am I left with. I can look out at the world and see a billion other people doing better than me. I've spent all my energy trying to take down people who mean LITERALLY NOTHING to me and I have nothing to show for it. My lot hasn't improved, I've just made things worse for someone else.

It sucks to see someone who hurt you get ahead because you don't feel like they deserve it. It does. But why waste your energy on a plan to do something to make life worse for someone who means nothing to you? Why not use that time and energy IMPROVING things for YOU.

Oh i also want to add, I have one bully who picked on my every day through secondary school, then I didn't see him until last year. That's a gap of what...seven years. He STILL insults me whenever he sees me. I'm telling you this because the chances are your pathetic dick of a bully might be doing OK for himself, but that doesn't mean he's any better off for it.

 

+1

You are living in the past! He isn't beating you up now! It might not be easy to be the better person, but it is on you.

I'm certain it's against EC policy to tell you how to make dirt suffer and die. And even if it were okay, I wouldn't tell you. It's not something to waste your time on. Gotta admit, when I was a teen, I would've agreed with you. Doesn't matter what age you are, anger can get us anytime.

What we need to hear, isn't always what we want to hear. You should focus on your life and try to improve it, so that you do have it better than him. Why are you so concerned about their life!? The moral of the story is... you wouldn't win anything, except brief relief. Who knows what it would then do to your mental health. Maybe you'll tell me that he already ruined your life? It's time to get help. It's not time to seek revenge.

Why is this guy still crossing your mind? Are you observing him?

 

Be successful and make him envious that you are a good person who made it and didn't let someone get dragged down.