1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How to deal with homophobia and bigoted comments.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by micstar615, May 5, 2014.

  1. micstar615

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2012
    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I've been having a really difficult time lately dealing with homophobic comments and why people say the things they say, and it's been getting to me a lot.

    One of the things that always gets to me is why do people compare homosexuality with pedophilia? I was watching a video today that was highlighting how LGBT people are represented terribly in video games and that they should be better represented, one of the comments was: "pedophiles should get more representation too" and it really bothered me. Why are we grouped together with people like that? How are we even remotely similar? If I was having a debate with someone, how would I counter this ridiculous argument without calling the bigot a bigot?

    Comments like that have been really bothering me lately, as a minority how do u guys deal with this constant hate and rejection by society? Sorry if this seems depressing, I figured EC would be the best place to talk about this since a lot of people here seem pretty intelligent and I'm sure you guys have dealt with similar circumstances.
     
  2. CaptainClyde

    CaptainClyde Guest

    I've never cared at all for the comparison between homosexuality and pedophilia. Uncool!
     
  3. CyanChachki

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2014
    Messages:
    1,397
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    British Columbia
    I was watching RuPaul's Drag Race the other day and RuPaul made a very wise point about how harsh opinions of others shouldn't matter. Know that those opinions are not about YOU, they're about the person making it. They're taking their own personal problems, whatever they may be and negatively projecting them on to other people instead of trying to deal with it themselves in a healthy way. LGBT will ALWAYS be here and they know that. They know that. They will do anything in their power to make us look bad as a group because they want nothing more than to be in the right.

    The reason why they keep switching their comparisons is because people aren't listening to them. As hard as it is to be gay in this day and age, people are more accepting than they used to be. They're losing the battle. There has been everything from pedo, to psychopath to harming other people.. and they've even called US the bullies. As long as you don't let these people get to you knowing that they're projecting their hateful thoughts on everyone they won't win because their hate can only go so far when you point the criticism back at them and basically say, no. This is your deal, fix it yourself. And just walk away.
     
  4. Clay

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2014
    Messages:
    618
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Scotland
    A relationship between two consenting adults isn't remotely similar to a paedophile relationship. Just point that out to him, kids can't consent.

    Or better yet, don't read Youtube comments.
     
  5. micstar615

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2012
    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thanks for that, that was a great response :slight_smile: ok a pretty sensitive guy and my family is really homophobic so it's definitely difficult dealing with these things, it's like constant rejection and hate. But you're right, it IS hate, simply because they don't understand what is different...

    Also, you live in BC? :grin:

    ---------- Post added 5th May 2014 at 09:27 PM ----------

    True, I keep telling myself that but I just can't resist sometimes :/
     
  6. CyanChachki

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2014
    Messages:
    1,397
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    British Columbia



    No problem. I'm sorry to hear about your family being so unaccepting. There's no excuse for how unfair they're treating you, especially when you had so much bravery coming out.. it takes a lot of guts and for the record, I'm proud of you for doing that.

    If it helps, my family isn't that homophobic but I can definitely sense them hesitating to accept who I really am and what I do. It took my family quite awhile to get them to really accept me, whenever I would try to discuss it, no one would want to talk about it, the first time I ever dressed in drag, my mom just said "there's no way you're going out like that" but I told her no, that I wasn't listening anymore.

    This is something you can learn for yourself as well.. when people tell you not to be something that makes you happy, do not listen to them. That was a huge mistake that I made for holding back who I really was because my parents didn't accept it. It is not your family's choice. It is not your friend's choice.. This is YOUR choice. Whoever you feel you truly are inside, that is who you need to be. This is your life. Not theirs, you're not living for them. You are living for you.

    As hard as it is for me to say, there will always be hate whether you get hate directly, from far away or even if you don't hear it at all.. but things are starting to change and things are definitely better than they where before which is fantastic and it takes courage, real courage to come out and be who you are. And it's okay to be a little afraid too.. I mean who isn't? Just keep on doing what you do. Be you.

    Yes, I do live in BC :slight_smile:
     
  7. fruitlapassion

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2014
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    If someone ever comes to you with such an statement, don't even bother answering. Some people is just hopelessly stupid.
     
  8. micstar615

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2012
    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people


    Again thank you for another great post :slight_smile: and I totally agree with everything you said, i guess it can be hard to have confidence when you feel like the world is against you, you know? But yeah, things are changing, the video that I mentioned in the original post had almost 13,000 likes and just under 1,000 dislikes! It's still irritating when people group you with something like pedophilia :/

    So do I! :grin:
     
  9. CyanChachki

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2014
    Messages:
    1,397
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    British Columbia
    No problem. It is hard yes, but remember that the entire world isn't against you. Maybe half? But half of that half you don't even have to personally worry about. The people who dislike the LGBT community probably don't know any of them. Maybe like one or two but how much do they REALLY know about that person? I think people like that are the ones who need to take a step back and look at what they're really doing. If you've known your child or your friend for most of your life and you've loved them up until they've came out then that's a huge problem.

    It's like what Pink said. "Hey, I'm Alicia Moore, I'm a Virgo." It's exactly that. Your star sign is what you are and everything else about you is the exact same. So what exactly is there that's wrong? There's nothing wrong. We're not asking people to treat us like gods or making them worship us in any way. We're not bashing anything. We just find the same gender to be attractive. It's really not that hard to understand.

    But as I see it, a lot of homophobics don't have a reason to be homophobic, they where brought up that way in their own homes by their parents and so on, so forth. Some of them just have issues later in life, whatever issue that may be but judging an entire group based on something you've seen maybe 2 people do is unfair and just completely rude.

    Will they turn around? I hope so. I don't know but I just don't get why others see it as this crime.

    Sorry, likes and dislikes for what?

    Awe nice!
     
  10. BryanM

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2013
    Messages:
    2,894
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Columbia, Missouri
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't get how a rational person could link consensual sex and a consensual relationship between two people to a rape of a child by a psychopath. Then I remember these people abandoned rational thinking a long time ago.