why do straight guys flirt with gay guys?

It seem he likes you and obviously misses you

 

There are probably a lot of people around the world who are gay and feel the need to/have to hide their orientation because they grew up in a conservative household/live in a conservative area/are confused because their orientation seemed to have appeared out of the blue/are strictly religious and feel as though they're being sinful/etc. There are many reasons for them to hide their sexualities and pretend to be straight, and it seems to me like your friend is one of them. I'd say, try to contact him and speak frankly with him. However, if over time he still doesn't show what his orientation is or you're not interested in him, then don't bother and let him figure things out for himself. While he has every right to hide his sexuality and doubt himself, you also have the right to be with/date someone who you're sure cares about you and loves you.

 

Well, it's entirely possible that he is gay/bi but just won't admit it. When asked by someone I don't entirely trust or when with more than one person I generally choose not to lie if someone asks me, because I don't feel comfortable telling more than person at once. He could be like that.

In my experience, when straight guys flirt with guys it's done jokingly, and obviously. They wouldn't look at and smile at a guys butt unless they wanted them to see. Otherwise it's not really a joke, is it?

 

Some just like the attention (I can flirt with girls for the same reason I guess), but in this case it might be that he's actually gay.

 

Seems like he's deeply in the closet to me.

 

Closeted. If it looks like, acts like a duck and yet holds up a sign that says "I AM A ZEBRA!!" whilst quacking... Dude's a friggin' duck.

 

As said above, he seems like he maybe is straight but it could be that he is curious or truly is bi/gay and just is afraid to admit to himself/others

 

Deeeeeeeeeply closeted. Paranoid-ly so.

But I think he's probably reaching a point where the internal pressure/dissonance is driving him a little nuts, and so he's responding to it and coming around looking for you.

I could be wrong.

But you know what? Either way, in this case...I think I'd distance from the guy, after you have a face-to-face with him (if he finally comes to meet you face to face, looking for you, that is)...and basically tell him, "Look, I don't know what you're truly after or what you're about, but here's the deal: I... AM gay. And I'm ready to accept that. Whatever your interest in me is, you need to get yourself straightened out (no pun intended) before we even have an interaction again. Don't call, don't write, don't stalk - unless you're ready to get real."


Just because you're worth more than that, OP. You deserve not to be yanked around by someone who is flailing about badly, in the throes of...whatever is going on inside this guy & in his head.

He needs to be on some kind of level ground with regard to himself & his motivations, and able to be honest about them to others, before he should be allowed into the flirting/dating pool.

I wonder what would happen if you asked him to stop the flirting/touching/innuendo stuff for a bit, and just offered to...I dunno...like go fishing with him, as a friend? Like, what if you just tried to be a platonic friend, in case he IS deeply closeted, and needs one?

 

I don't necessarily think it's a closeted thing - straight guys often like to "pretend to be gay", its a big game to them. You will find a lot of men who will put on an exaggerated homo-erotic display for a laugh.

 

He;s almost definitely a closeted gay person.

 

Most straight guys I see do it is do it for jokes some just for shock factor and like messing with people .

 

Either closeted or sadistic.

I flirt with alot of straight guys myself and it usually means absolutely nothing alot of the time though so iono

 

It happens.

Some straight guys will flirt with really hot A-list gay guys because they are intrigued by them. Straight guys respond affirmatively to good looking guys. It's sort of a universal thing. Attractive people, in general, have an easier time in life and many people seem to want to hang out with them.

Some straight guys will flirt because, consciously or subconsciously, they do in fact have a bisexual component.

Some straight guys will flirt to manipulate gay guys who might think the ingratiation could also work for them, though it probably won't. Most likely, it's to obtain favors. One thing that has happened to me, irrespective of sexual identity because the setting didn't even allow for that to be an issue, is that some presumably gay guys in the hospitality industry have mistakenly given me free food, which I pointed out to them and they did not charge me for, or have given me upgrades in seats on a plane or an upgrade in renting a car, free of charge.

Some straight guys will flirt as a pure mind fuck. I went to college with someone who was suspicious and would definitely be an acquaintance, though I would have classified him as a friend back then. Stupid me. He wanted to go visit one of his fraternity brothers in the dorms. This guy was sitting there in his bathrobe with nothing underneath. At one point, he sort of let it open as he moved from his desk to reclining on the bed. I didn't know what to make of all this, but I didn't like it. Back then, I wasn't suspicious of it. Now, looking back, I am and I think my "friend" had talked behind my back. The reality is that this guy in the bathrobe's most noticeable attribute was the long, deep vertical cleft in his chin. What a jerk, though. I wonder if he looks like shit now.

So, that's the whole span of motives in my mind. Look for clues which could tell you which of these explanations may apply.