Why gay men suck at dating (and relationships)

The part about financial constraints struck me as interesting. Not having enough to really live on does cause a lot of stress. Though I've been with my partner for 24 years, as rent and prices have risen, and wages remained flat, it's put a lot of pressure on us, and has had us both pretty depressed/anxious. And as I picture the way there's more and more low-paying service jobs, and fewer and fewer better jobs with benfits, this seems like it's going to get even worse. As it said, it's hard to be fully there emotionally, when you're worried about rent, food, bill collectors, car repairs, dental bills, and on and on. I'd like to see more about how income impacts relationships on the lower end of the scale.

 

I'm not a boy in till I'm 30. I'm a man now.

 

I think that is one of the things that might pressure me into dating. Many straight people my age have long-term partners or are married (in their early twenties, a horrifying thought to me! :eek and so have a greater option for mortgages due to their joint income. As a single gay guy I am limited in what I can afford housing wise.

I think also it is difficult for those who come out later as it is almost as though you have missed out on puberty. Straight people often have their whole childhood and teenage years to date, experiment, hookup and "practice" being in relationships. If you come out later you can be pressured into jumping straight into a long-term "adult" relationship with no sexual/relationship/dating experience. You are essentially a young teenager trapped in an adults body, it is scary.

 

The financial talk also hit me... And, as I've whined here before, cash flow issues in my life have made me honestly wonder if I'm even marketable for a relationship. It's one thing when you are 23. It's another when you are 43. Even casual dating is seriously limited prospect for me.

Another line from the article hit me hard:

They treasure their alone time so much that the thought of sacrificing it for someone else terrifies them.​

To a degree, I see this in myself. Not that I necessarily "treasure" my alone time. Indeed, at times, being alone so much can be tiresome. But...at the same time, I do need alone time (strong introvert here).

And, being alone (with zero close friends left, and zero social life), has meant that I've gotten used to dictating 100% of the program 100% of the time. Having to take another guy's interests/desires/etc into account would certainly be a huge change. Although not necessarily a bad change if the right man came along.

Of course, this assumes there might be a "right man" out there for me...

---------- Post added 6th May 2014 at 01:57 PM ----------

And this is an issue that I've considered: the financial implications of living alone. Honestly, I have mixed feelings about living with someone else. After some past experiences with roommates, etc, a part of me prefers living alone. But...financially that is not easy. (I currently endure crappy environment, and I often wonder if I'd be better off trading this for a better place with roommate again...)

And then other things can be cheaper too. A vacation, for example, is a lot cheaper if you have more than one person sharing the hotel room.

Again something I've thought of. I have never--never--been on a date... And so I simply have zero experience. I can hardly wait for that first date. Assuming that I ever do have a first date, and, frankly, as I look at issues like the fact that I am a 40-something man who didn't even have a casual date with a girl in high school, there is a part of me that is tempted to say: "This is too much. I won't bother. It's enough to accept I'm gay, and then go on to live a celibate life."

 

Ideally, yes. And I can't honestly see being in a relationship for the money. Although I'd be less than honest if I said that I'd be unhappy if I met that Special Someone and he turned out to be filthy rich. :lol:

Unfortunately, however, I am under the impression that a lot of people do put the money first. You see that in relationships that are clearly "My Young Body in exchange for the benefits of Your Big Paycheck."

 

It's easy to understand the reason why gay men are suck when they have a date
Gay dating is totally different from normal dating between a guy and a girl
So does the difference in individual taste and ideal type
Maybe you are attractive online but when you have a real date with a guy who you put so much hope on him and i bet gay men are failed at the first met of the first date 100% GUARANTEE !!
i once read that a guy looked really handsome and masculine through photos but in fact , in the first date , he was slutty and girly so storyteller - the one who dated with the guy above was incrediblely shocked