Hello, I feel very uncomfortable to be surrounded by straight men. I have this feeling that every time I am with them, they will make fun of me and ridicule me and humiliate me or secretly talk about me. Am I paranoid? I am sure am. I don't know why. I just feel that straight people hate me. Hmmm..., I know I should not generalize. But sometime, I think I am uncomfortable with them. Especially if the straight people are handsome! I don't want to know I like them. I mean, I am not closet, but I feel very embarrassed. I blush -.- Embarrassed may be more suitable than the word 'uncomfortable'. Or I feel both.
Here i am ! I am here to comfort you ._. But i think living surroungding by straight guys is one of the normalest things that exist on earth ) First, not all of men are gay or even bi to have the same thought about gay guy or bisexual people . And most of men are straight - i sure can tell Second, straight men love to anoy one another even you are not gay but nerd or geek they sure do bully you for such a ridiculous reason which is you are too different from them Third, gay men feel the same pressure as you , right now ! We all know that high school time is the toughest period of time in our life ! Not just bullies , friends , teachers and even families criticize you Consequently, you just need to stand out of those crowd of straight men and be YOU even you are gay and PERFORM MIRACLE !
I grew up with this feeling, mostly because I was thinking they were constantly joking about my weight and looks, but most of the time it was true. Now that it's something that could make them want to beat me up and kill me, I'm completely invisible. I act the same way I used to years before I found out who I was. Over time I'm pretty sure you'll learn to suppress the thoughts in those situations, just be careful not to get carried away with it and lose your emotions completely. Trust me it's not worth it.
have you been bullied in the past? I have and the question 'would you have sex with me' is the worst, if you say no they take it personally and if you say yes they are offended--' I'd reached a point where I didn't even like them but still avoided them because I thought that they might think that I liked them (I don't know if I'm making sense lol) Of course now it's over, just be yourself - they don't mind - and if they do, just never speak to them again apart from 'hello' it's not like you are forced to be best friends with them or something.
Well I have a lot of straight guy co workers and during the breaks they often talk about nothing else than football and or hot girls. I feel so left out sometimes (I'm obviously not into girls that way, neither do I give any fucks about football). But it's probably worsened by the fact that I'm not out at work. It makes me uncomfortable, yes. But other than I get along fine with them.
Thank you for all the replies. What more makes me sad is for example in a school, we have to segragate boys from girls. I can't relate with the other boys. I'm somewhat nerdy. Hahaha.
This...OH GOD PLEASE like something other than football/soccer! I swear I'll never even want to be with a guy who likes football, I'm so sickened by the thought! Why is it weird to like motorsports for a change? And the way they treat women is disgusting. I, who have no intentions of doing anything serious with them know more about that kind of stuff. How shameful...for them.
In my work, some of my closest friends/colleagues are straight men. One of my closest colleagues - a very straight guy (if you get me) lol - I almost hope he's in work when I am, merely because I get on with him well. BUT, there is one colleague I feel a bit... "Dodgy" around; he's the assistant manager, supposedly straight and engaged, but sends me the gay vibes... I think y'all understand why I feel awkward .......... I think I know something he doesn't
I work in a small office. My co-workers are two straight girls and one straight guy, all of whom have significant others. (I'm officially 'out' as gay to one of the straight girls, to the other two co-workers I've never discussed my personal life.) For whatever reason I feel least comfortable with the idea of being 'exposed' as gay to the straight guy. And yeah, it would feel like I've been "exposed". I would feel very self-conscious, I would wonder if he thinks I'm checking him out or something, he would feel anxious and apprehensive around me, and I would no longer be like a 'bro' he could relate to, he would look down upon me, I feel like I would be grouped in with the girls. I mean, it would imbalance the office for sure to have 3 male-attracted people and only 1 female-attracted person. It could just be irrational fear. And maybe it's just rooted in stereotypes, straight girls LOVE gay guys, while straight guys HATE gay guys, or at least, are uncomfortable around gay guys.... I came out to the one straight girl cuz she always talked about her gay guy friend. I don't think/know if the straight guy has any gay guy friends. I want to feel more comfortable and confident about being myself around straight guys, but it's hard to shake off the feelings of discomfort and distrust. I mean, the way I dress and act has to have already raised questions about my sexuality, but I don't know if my straight male co-worker actually thinks I am actually gay, or just "ultra-liberal" which he calls me.
The overwhelming majority of my friends are straight guys - not one of them has spoken against my sexuality, and not one of them has changed the way they interact with me since I came out. I think your fear is understandable, but I can assure you that the majority of people are not going to ridicule you - maybe a minority will, but you need to learn to overcome that by ignoring them and focusing on the people who are not bothered. The majority of straight guys aren't the misogynistic homophobes that people on here frequently portray them as. To be honest, I'd probably be more offended by some whiny straight girl proclaiming that we should be BFFs simply because I'm gay, than some meathead straight guy saying he doesn't approve of what I do.
Perhaps you haven't met many understanding straight guys? They are out there, I promise you. If you're feeling a lot of fear, most people pick up on it. If you haven't already, maybe you could take a martial arts class. Almost everyone I know is heterosexual. Some good, some bad. You tell one person about your sexuality, and well, gossip spreads like wildfire. I play along with the jokes and/or ignore them. It depends. Why should I care if some ignorant fool thinks I'll f**k anything and everything. I, for one, am proud of leaving bigots unable to sleep at night. And that school separating the boys from the girls, that's bloody stupid, with a few exceptions. I hate such prehistoric attitudes! The next time some guy says women suck at maths, I'll drag him to a group of female mathematicians, and watch the fireworks.
Yeah, kinda feel like this too as one of the few trans guys on campus. It's like, I wanna be one of the guys but are they gonna treat me differently if they knew I was trans? So it's hard being open or connecting with people- especially other guys. But getting better.
I have a weird approach to straight guys. If I know they're straight I don't even think about them sexually, I may think they're good looking but that's about it, I don't bother about anything else at all. I have a problem though when a straight guy that knows I am gay is around. I feel they are offput by me and might be thinking I am thinking inappropriate things about them. That is the problem with me. I basically am only friends with straight guys, and am pretty comfortable around them, but I hate the idea of them being or anyone being uncomfortable around me. I am a bit of a people pleaser, so I hate being in situations where I feel I am making things awkward. This just makes situations worse, because if I am with straight guys that don't care I am gay, I can still get awkward because I just focus too much on the fact that I MUST be making things awkward. It really fucking sucks. The fact I basically only ever find myself getting a long with straight guys, or being friends with them sucks even more, because I feel I can't ever really make new friends because I will always feel awkward once they find out, but those feelings will pass. You just need to be exposed to more tolerant straight guys, and I am sure you will stop hating it. You really just need to hear some positive stuff about gay people come out of the mouth of a straight guy.
