In my limited experience here, people who genuinely have OCD symptoms *in addition* to an unhealthy obsession about their sexual orientation (there's no such thing as "HOCD", any more than there's "not stepping on cracks OCD" "handwashing OCD" or "locking doors OCD") are, in fact, just dealing with an OCD-driven obsession on sexual orientation and seem to have no genuine indicators that they're gay. On the other hand, there also been a small handful of people who have posted here who, by every reasonable measure, showed strong same-sex attractions, fantasies, desires and behaviors, who appear to be using HOCD as a means of staying in denial. I don't think one can make a blanket statement.
I've seen people who seem to fit into both categories post here. Of course it is also possible for these groups to overlap some so it's difficult to say what the numbers are.
I think that's a very balanced response. There've been plenty of people even just on here who really had nothing in terms of same-sex attraction. They'd dig around 24/7 for signs or implications of same-sex attraction but came up with nothing. They would obsess about it but sure as hell wouldn't seem to have a same-sex attraction. Different people, like Chip says, often use it as a convenient denial/bargaining tool. It very much depends on the person and their state of mind.
Hi chip, This is the first time I have seen you giving any credit to people coming on here with ocd. Have you changed your view on ocd as something that can cause people to doubt their sexuality?
I don't think so. I've always taken the position that OCD is real, and that some people who have OCD also have, as one of their obsessive behaviors, a fixation on sexual orientation. My problem has always been with the claim that there is a condition called HOCD as a standalone disorder. Nobody credible believes that. I have noticed, anecdotally, that the incidence of OCD and obsessive traits appear to be on the rise among people under 30, and this is consistent with what we know about the causes of OCD-like symptoms. The same early childhood parental bonding issues that appear to be causally related, or at least highly correlated, with OCD are also associated with other conditions that are on the rise -- depression, anxiety, and addiction. So it stands to reason that we would be seeing more instances of OCD and, therefore, more people having, as one of their OCD symptoms, an obsession with sexual orientation. However, mixed in with that, we also have plenty of people in denial who latch on to the nonexistent HOCD (and who have no other OCD-like symptoms) which does them a disservice. I've certainly become more aware of causal factors with OCD and may simply have gotten a bit better at communicating about it, but I don't think my views have changed very much, if at all.
I wanted to answer this thread a while ago but I was not sure how to come about answering it. I've had OCD for a few years now (maybe five years?) I did not know what it was at first but began to experience it when I started middle school and prior to that in elementary school I had social anxiety and probably some early warning signs of developing OCD such as in fifth grade an intense fear of fainting and obsessive thoughts on it. I have had two separate doctors diagnosis me in the past two years, but because OCD is basically an intense doubting disease sometimes I even doubt the professionals who have diagnosed me. HOCD is not a real medical term, in fact, people need to forget about the letters they put in front of their disorder such as ROCD, COCD, POCD, etc... You have OCD and that's the only simple way to define it. The problem is that people focus so much on trying to "cure" themselves of the subject that they obsess about it that they forget to address the OCD themselves. OCD will always find a way to come back and find other things to make you obsess over. It's scary but true. Let me give you an example, a year ago I was so deathly afraid of throwing up and had health OCD. I was so afraid of bad things health wise happening to me that I had massive panic attacks. I went through eight hour days at school in mental and sometimes physical pain too and it got to a point where I went to therapy and was majorly depressed. My therapist kept trying to get me to understand CBT therapy and prompting me to do exposure therapy but I thought that the issue was that I didn't like my school and it wasn't the OCD causing me to fear getting sick but all the people at my school making me afraid. Fast foreword a few months and my parents allowed me to homeschool. But did the fear go away like I predicated? No. Now here I am months later having other obsessive thoughts geared towards my orientation. I know I'm gay, but the problem with OCD is it literally feeds off of intrusive thoughts and doubts and insecurities. I've gone almost a whole day freaking out about my sexuality before, just like I used to go whole days freaking out about getting sick. Now, I've come to realize that it doesn't matter if I get over my sexuality or sick fears, I'm still going to have the OCD unless I address the OCD. I know that even if I jump through my obsessions now I'll probably find something else to latch onto in the future like: Fear of hurting people Fear of being possessed by demons Fear of schizophrenia The sad thing is I've worried about the above before but only short term because I've had other bigger problems. What I'm basically trying to say is I don't like fancy terms like "HOCD." If you have OCD but your main fear is of your sexual orientation changing, that is fine. But when people say they have HOCD they worry so much about being gay they forget they really just have OCD. (rant over)
I don't mind the term HOCD. It's how I figured out I probably have OCD. Before I found out about HOCD I thought OCD was all about being a neat freak.
I don't like the terms that much because they make everyone with OCD feel separate when we're all just in the same big mess :/ I think I can actually relate to the fears and obsessions of someone going through POCD expect we are obsessing over different fears. Using different terms makes us less unified. But anyway I didn't find out about sexual obsessions until stumbling about "HOCD" terms either and it does help you feel less alone and less crazy when you know other's are suffering like you I guess. I read HOCD stories that are legit and even though most of the sufferers are straight I can still relate to everything they have going on like the obsessive checking and compulsions and fears and whatnot. The compulsions drive me insane.
I have OCD about my sexuality. I do not have OCD about other things like cleanliness etc but I have a tendency to let the same negative thoughts get stuck in my head. My problem stems from 2 areas. 1. I had ED before. This made me question if I really like women sexually.... 2. I am bald and think that because of this I look gay. That is where it starts and then can snowball from there. I have other phschological issues including anxiety and have been seeing a therapist about this but I sometimes bundle all my issues into a maybe I'm gay basket. This is my last refuge always. I have recently started working with someone who is bi and it's great. To talk to him each day, confront my fears and slowly realise that I don't want to be sexual with this person brings me a lot of comfort. He's cool and it also helps as it allows me to see that being bi is absolutely fine.
