I've been in courses and in a few social situations, and from what I've seen, all the other people make friends and I'm left alone. Fair enough, I don't really speak to anyone in these type of situations , but it's a two way street. So is anyone the same at all, and does anyone know what am i doing wrong, ie what social skills am I not doing/not getting?
I don't really speak to anyone in these type of situations That is what you are doing wrong. Sure it's a two way street, but that means YOU need to do something as well.
I just feel weird talking to someone I don't know though ? But I guess if that's what the others are doing, I'll give it a try, if it gets me somewhere.
They don't know you either, so maybe they feel weird talking to you just the same? Someone has to initiate.
But isn't that exactly what you are doing on here? Okay, so it's from a computer, using the written word, but the point remains that you are making chit chat with relative strangers. You just need to transfer it into verbal conversation with those people.
Talking to strangers can be difficult indeed, but you should give it a try. Most wouldn't care when you try to talk to them, that is, you will probably not encouter someone saying "Don't talk to me". Good luck!
I used to be that and still sort of am, you just have to initiate conversation and you know what, if they don't like it then whatever, its not reason to not do it again. its just a reason to find someone better.
An easy tactic of meeting people and being guaranteed something in common is, go to a book store, or any hobby shop really. From here, you have two directions to choose from: Direction One: Browse any areas and hope someone notices. Either they will want to help you, or they may compliment you on what you're browsing. This will get the other person to speak up first, and you have something in common. Direction Two: Look at what other people are doing. This is especially easy in a book store. If someone is looking in a certain area, and you know something about that area or are interested, then you can approach them and recommend something. If they have already been exposed to your recommendation, you now have something in common to discuss. Personally, I prefer the second option. You can be more picking and choosing, while the first option is really up to the other person. I've done this, and it gets easier and more natural with time and practice. Even if I never see that person again, I'll at least have obtained experience in being more social, but also I'll have made a positive impact on someone's life. If I didn't provide them with some new material or idea, then perhaps a good conversation or a good laugh. People will always remember how you make them feel, so make them feel respected, intelligent, and appreciated.
Oh wow, you wouldn't believe I was thinking of starting a thread with a similar question. I'm kinda the same way, although a situation where you make absolutely no friend is extreme. In my case, its that I just never put effort in the act of making friends. Being an introvert I think people somehow just complicate life. I know, that's crazy right? Anyhow, people approach me (so at least I know I'm approachable, are you?) and who ever approaches me, given a common interest a friendship may develop. The only problem with me is, I never seem to keep the friends I make. My lack of thirst for life, a contributing factor. Well you actually stated what you are doing wrong. You said you generally don't talk to anyone in such situations. So there's your problem right there... You mentioned that you've done some sort of course, that scenario normally gives way to interaction. I'm currently doing a university course and in it there was the opportunity for team work on assignments and the like. Quite naturally, it was easy to interact with my fellow students. My bounds where even tested when I was made to do a presentation in front of everyone. I don't like to approach people and talk to them or worse speak in a public situation full of people. Only if it absolutely necessary of course. You need to learn to challenge yourself. I would have never don't the presentation with all the shivering I was doing (I thought) but, I did it and it was part of challenging myself. Everyday is opportunity to lear form others and also (and most especially) to learn and develop ourselves, by "challenging" ourselves. Get out of that "comfort zone" if you will, allows growth. Simply put, you challenging yourself to talk to people in "those types of situations" will help you grow your social skills. Hope that helps
