Specifically, why do some people say that you have to accept that shyness is a part of you? Well, forgive me, but I'm not going to accept the thing that has made me miss out of countless friendships and probably some in the future as well. The fact is, if someone is shy, they're not going to have as good as a life as they could if they weren't. IMO anyway. So I think in a way, they shouldn't accept as part of themselves.
I think that like pain it can be annoying but ultimately is there to help us, you know make you think things through more
Shyness often stems from lack of confidence. If you can identify the nature of that lack of confidence, you can often take steps to improve this thus overcoming your shyness. I used to be extremely shy. I'm not so much anymore. I found the root of it and then exposed myself as much as I could too it until I was no longer shy. Happy days
I do agree that shyness can be a confidence issue or something stemming from a fear of oneself. Many people speak about shyness, introversion, being reserved, social anxiety, etc, as if they're all the same thing. These things can go in a number of directions, too. As an example, someone could be reserved because they're afraid of their self-expression and emotions being rejected and reserved because it's naturally hard for them to clearly define or put them into words for others.
I used to be shy but in my opinion, unlike introversion, it's something you can get over. I don't really know how or why it happened that I got less shy, but looking back I enjoy my life a lot more now. I've got more friends, just have more happening basically. Not trying to talk down on shy people of course - I know what it's like and it can be tough at times, and I'm sure for some people it's not something to get over easily. But it's possible. And not to be confused with introversion.
Shyness is ok when you are ok with being alone. If you aren't, it fucking sucks. People say that because it isn't good to look at your traits as a flaw. Shyness in itself is not negative, it could mean you just aren't the most social person and are fine with being friends with a select group of people or socializing with a select group. When shyness is basically nothing more than a manifestation of your own anxiety then you have a problem. Natural shyness is fine; as long as you're happy that way. Otherwise it is something I would address as soon as possible, you don't want to regret. The best thing you can do when feeling shy is remind yourself how you will regret it later, that may motivate you to open up, even if only a little bit.
I forced myself not to be shy. I use to be so shy that I couldn't order my own food at a restaurant. Now, I network like nobody's business. Mind over matter.
