This vid upsets me

[Double Dubya]

This video is very upsetting to me, but I don’t understand why people on youtube aren’t getting upset about it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqviZRJndGc The originator says that I must be reading too deep, but even from a shallow look, it still only has negative general assumptions of gay relationships. I know that alcohol has split up the past three generations of my family, I am trying to be sure that I have a clean slate. But this guy makes it seem like I am doomed even before I begin. I would think that this guy would fight for gay marriage, since he is gay himself, instead he denounces all gay relationships and removes the value of love. What do you think about this? Right now I feel like an odd duck because everyone seems to agree with him.

[Jim1454]

I watched it, and to be honest it upsets me too. Not because I think it's inaccurate, but becuase I'm afraid it has a lot of truth to it. I've lived a hetrosexual life up to now, and can certainly relate to the comments about courting and marrying a woman. However, my experiences up to now in the gay community have so far (I'm ashamed to admit) been mostly the shallow and meaningless 'hook ups' that he refers to. I don't really have any meaningful experiences to draw from.

However, we do hear from guys like Paul who have been with their partners for 15 years - so there is hope.

Believe me - I WANT to find love. And I'm going to look for it. And I'm not intending to settle any more.

[CM1989]

This clip disturbs me, it automatically assumes that homosexuals are pedofiles.
http://lezzymcguire.blogspot.com/200...ys-beware.html

[CM1989]

"love is now thought as an idea of the past". What??

[94nat]

Originally Posted by CM1989

This clip disturbs me, it automatically assumes that homosexuals are pedofiles.
http://lezzymcguire.blogspot.com/200...ys-beware.html

I had a look at this clip also and I thought it was a bit that way to. I have been offered lifts sometimes but have never taken one,

[Freak4Life]

Originally Posted by CM1989

This clip disturbs me, it automatically assumes that homosexuals are pedofiles.
http://lezzymcguire.blogspot.com/200...ys-beware.html

Well, I just watched that video, and I have to say, for every person out there that is like that, there are plenty that are perfectly normal, respectable people.

In response to the youtube video, which was quite upsetting to me alos, it does have a lot of truth behind it. However, it seems to be going on stereotypical veiws that gay people are just out for 'one-night stands' which, lets face it, some are. But it's only when you concider the majority of gay people, that you find that really most of us are looking for a loving, lasting reletionship. It seems to me that a small minority have 'spoiled' it for the majority.

[jayden]

i thought that the video was just stupid

[nisomer]

whats wrong with it? if he made one like that about straight couples would people mad? i mean, he's telling us the state of gay relationships from his point of view, and in fact, i agree with him on a lot of it. he was probably using his emotions when he made that video, so he probably had some sort of a relationship where someone cheated on him, or something else.

[mnguy]

I think the point of it was to be hopeful for lasting relationships and to warn against the things that may ruin relationships. I think that guys in general are eager to have sex, gay and straight.

Straight guys want to have sex just as much as gay guys do. The difference is that traditionally women tend to be the limiting factor in straight sex, which probably has several factors including fear of pregnancy and arguably more emotional need for intimacy/commitment before sex. I'm sure the courting stage is very short when a horny straight guy meets a horny girl who wants to have sex, just like when two horny gay guys meet.

I think some of the drug/alcohol abuse and meaningless sex comes from the need to numb the feelings of rejection by society and hate toward ourselves due to that rejection. I hope that is something that will fade away the more we are accepted. The more we're accepted, the more solid relationships we'll have which hopefully will provide good examples for future generations. Maybe I'm an idealist, but I can hope for the happiness we deserve.

Oi....i'm so getting heckled after i post this but i don't care......cuz that video mad me FURIOUS. Not all of it, but when i saw the segment 2:40-3:10. It's dispicable.

Originally Posted by From Video

[In a heterosexual relationship] He [the male] would not dream of treating her [the female] anything less than she should be [treated], cause if he loses that trust...he has to start all over again...
......
In the gay world...that's not the case

............................... WHAATT?!?!?!!!

I must have flames spouting from my head because i've never felt like strangling a person more in my life.

Reasons for completely thinking this guy needs to be hit hard with a skillet:

Originally Posted by Video

[In a heterosexual relationship] He [the male] would not dream of treating her [the female] anything less than she should be [treated], cause if he loses that trust...he has to start all over again...

"In the gay world", homosexuals have to start all over again too buddy!

What is there special exceptions now? Gays get to pass go and collect salary while straights go straight to jail? (Monopoly analogy kids, try and keep up) I'm pretty sure a gay male would be just as pissed as a straight female if his partner did something wrong.

Originally Posted by Video

Promiscuity is a very common factor for the failure of [gay] relationships

He draws his conclusion from completely unreliable sources

"Boys Gone Bad" pictures support his "promiscuity" statements, in which case numerous heterosexual instinces may be drawn from.

Originally Posted by Video

Its an illusion we try to find but fail due to today's society and gay rituals

He is completely bonkers.

"Gay Rituals", either he's gone through some sort of divorce situation to traumatise him with relationship situations or this guy needs a reality check.....the "gay world" doesn't exist an if it did what differences would seperate it from the "straight world". And last time i checked my "rituals" are non-existant, i do nothing that a typical heterosexual couple wouldn't do.

I feel for the creator. What hurt must he have gone through to contrive such an art. There is darkness and pain in his creation -- there is not life and creation of beauty. Having nothing to do with his case, I want to give him a hug, apologize as a human being for the whole human race failing him, and then take him for coffee and a chat.

[nisomer]

Originally Posted by Blamblazer

I feel for the creator. What hurt must he have gone through to contrive such an art. There is darkness and pain in his creation -- there is not life and creation of beauty. Having nothing to do with his case, I want to give him a hug, apologize as a human being for the whole human race failing him, and then take him for coffee and a chat.

totally agree.

[joeyconnick]

Originally Posted by Jim1454

I watched it, and to be honest it upsets me too. Not because I think it's inaccurate, but becuase I'm afraid it has a lot of truth to it. I've lived a hetrosexual life up to now, and can certainly relate to the comments about courting and marrying a woman. However, my experiences up to now in the gay community have so far (I'm ashamed to admit) been mostly the shallow and meaningless 'hook ups' that he refers to. I don't really have any meaningful experiences to draw from.

That's because, effectively, you're like 18.

I've only watched half of it and all I can think is "Wow, bad breakup!" I hate it when people generalise their own pain and try to scapegoat some sort of societal reason for it. Relationships are hard, period. It doesn't matter if you're straight or gay or whatever. About the only truth this video hints at (so far at the halfway mark) is that there's a whole support structure out there pushing straight couples to stay together.

It's like okay, I understand you've been hurt by some assholes but if you think there isn't shallowness and hook-ups and fuckbuddies in the straight world and assholes who are straight--wow, how moronic ARE you?

And I love how all the images of guys he uses are WHITE, young, and very muscly. Because seriously, it's not gay love that's an illusion, it's the notion that all gay guys out there are as they are portrayed in those pictures.

[joeyconnick]

Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh this guy is an IDIOT!

I can't believe he says, "He would not dream of treating her less than she should be, cause if he loses that trust... he has to start all over again!"

Oh. MY. GOSH!

What does he think the 50% of straight marriages that end in divorce don't have anything to do with lack of respect?

And I'm sorry but I'm pretty sure husbands not treating their wives with respect is an amazingly widespread phenomenon!

[joeyconnick]

"People get tired of their partners"

Yes, PEOPLE do, gay ones and straight ones...

GAHHHH!

[joeyconnick]

Originally Posted by joeyconnick

That's because, effectively, you're like 18.

Sorry I should elaborate...

What i mean is, you just came out, which means that emotionally, with guys, it could be said that you're in an adolescent stage. I've seen that time and time again--guy comes out later in life, goes crazy and has his "slut phase" (which would be perfectly acceptable and maybe even encouraged if you were a teen) at that point.

And then there's the question: getting out of your marriage as you are, are you ready to jump right back into a serious, long-term relationship? Maybe you haven't had any meaningful experiences so far because, subconsciously, you're not ready for them?

There's a lot to be said for playing the field while you get the lay of the land. (And no I didn't mean all the double entendres that are in that. *grin*)

And it's not just a gay thing: I have a female friend who recently ended her 10-year marriage to a guy and she is totally partying and sleeping with whoever she feels like and she's not looking for something serious. I'm sure she wouldn't be totally opposed to something serious if the right person came along but for now she's content to have short-term fun, which I think is brilliant.

[Jim1454]

Joey, At first I was a little offended by your response to my quote. However, I think I know where you're coming from...

In terms of developing healthy sexuality as a homosexual, I am effectively starting at zero - and I guess would consider myself at age 18 - or younger!

I'll also admit that I have not up til now approached homosexuality in a very positive or open way.

I never suggested there wasn't "shallowness and hook-ups and fuck-buddies in the straight world and assholes who are straight" - so I don't think it warranted the "moronic" comment.

What I was trying to convey - perhaps unsuccessfully - is that I'm positive that I could not have met as many straight women that were also actively looking themselves for a 'quickie' as I have men over the last two years. I'm not suggesting that there aren't straight men that are strictly looking for sex, there are. But there aren't nearly as many women. I've been absolutely astounded - and ashamed - at the ease with which I could meet another man for sex when I looked for it. An ease that I bet all those straight "assholes" could only dream about!

So, as someone trying to make a fresh start and figure out how and where to find someone to make that fresh start with, I'll admit I am a little discouraged, knowing that I have to be that much more careful in understanding the other person's motives.

Sorry if I've offended anyone else with my comments - those here or the ones quoted above. That wasn't my intent.

[Jim1454]

LOL! I posted my response before you had posted your follow up.

I knew what you were getting at.

[joeyconnick]

Originally Posted by Jim1454

I never suggested there wasn't "shallowness and hook-ups and fuck-buddies in the straight world and assholes who are straight" - so I don't think it warranted the "moronic" comment.

Oh my gosh, Jim... that wasn't me saying YOU were moronic... that was me saying the person who made the video in question that we're all commenting on was moronic! I'm SO sorry if you thought I was talking about you! I should have been clearer!

[joeyconnick]

Originally Posted by Jim1454

What I was trying to convey - perhaps unsuccessfully - is that I'm positive that I could not have met as many straight women that were also actively looking themselves for a 'quickie' as I have men over the last two years. I'm not suggesting that there aren't straight men that are strictly looking for sex, there are. But there aren't nearly as many women. I've been absolutely astounded - and ashamed - at the ease with which I could meet another man for sex when I looked for it. An ease that I bet all those straight "assholes" could only dream about!

I've heard that from some straight guys: that they think gay guys have it easy--and I guess we do, if you want sex with people who you don't have standards about. I've never wanted sex with just any random person--I at least have to think they're attractive and my impression has been that while I could easily get sex with someone, more often than not that person was not attractive in my book. On top of that, I have this weird need to at least LIKE the person I'm getting naked with, so that rules out a bunch of people right then and there.

There aren't nearly as many women who are as... sexually forward as men because (and I wanted to say this in response to another posting somewhere around here) women are so highly socialised to "protect" their chastity/virginity/whatever. I truly do not believe women are any less sexual than men--I just think men are encouraged and allowed and unsanctioned to be super-sexual whereas for women, it's just the opposite. It's not straight women who limit straight men's libido, it's straight society that has decided that women must be the limiters, which is typical because it sets men and women in opposition and men as the predators and women as the prey and all this other stupid heterosexist bullshit but I digress. But basically it makes women the scapegoats because it puts the responsibility on them to TAME the men, because of course as men we must never take responsibility for our own actions, feelings, and desires.

My experience has been, knowing women of college age today, that women are a lot more likely to freely express their sexual desires these days. I'm not claiming it's an equal kind of thing but it is heartening, to me at least, that a lot of women are like, "Enough of this patriarchal bullshit about women who admit to having sexual desire being harlots--we like sex and that's okay." Because the more women who are free to express their sexuality, the less likely people will believe the fiction that gays are all promiscuous whores. Kinda like now that there's divorce we all can see that straight people do not "naturally" mate for life.