I just came out to myself a couple of weeks ago. I've always had a boring social life. Mostly because I'm not the big group of friends/partying kind of guy, but also because I knew I was different. I was also very self-aware of myself. I found it hard to connect with people because I knew deep down inside that I was lying to myself, suppressing my feelings, and trying my hardest to be "a normal, straight, average joe". I'm hoping that my social life gets better this upcoming school year now that I'm out to myself. I also plan on coming out to a couple of gay people that I know (one who has his suspicions of me being gay). Hopefully this will help with my social life. Has anyone else ever felt like their social life took a toll prior to coming out?
Yeah, definitely. I was awkward, kinda dull, had loads of trouble enjoying being social or connecting with anyone. But it's like, after I came out, I started connecting better with people. Developed a better sense of humor. I actually wanted to get out there and be social. And it helped that at the same time I was coming out, I was going to college and finally getting away from home. I was homeschooled and didn't get out much so didn't have a lot of experience around people my age.
I have the same hopes that I will become more social when the time comes and I'm out. Could be wishful thinking, of course. But all this hiding, constant worrying and thinking about not being yourself surely does take a negative toll on social interaction. When I was a kid, before puberty hit, I was really social and was almost always out somewhere, playing with other kids. When puberty came everything went wrong. At least I became a somewhat successful nerd, so I got that going for me So yeah, here's to hoping that things will get better!
Actually it's been the opposite. When I was still in the closet, I was working evening shifts on weekends at a supermarket, so I always knew I had something on every weekend. I started working Monday to Friday around the same time as I came out, so therefore my social life is dead.
I feel the exact same way you had, right now. I hope that when I come out I can start to connect with people and not be so shy.
Everyone started like noticing me and talking to/about me... specially girls and the popular people... but the guys I used to hang out with don't really talk to me anymore other than when we have class together. I guess it's difficult for the guys to understand.
Me too! Puberty hit, and things got super awkward. I also think the awkwardness was amplified because I moved towns and didn't go to the high school that all my elementary/middle school friends were going to. I REALLY hope things get better this year. It's my senior year. I've got to make the most of it!
Yeah it causes major problems. The world of social media I've kept away from which makes you slightly out cased. Say I used Facebook (I have it, but really never got into it) and your mum dad family etc are all on it, if friends are aware your gay it wont take long before something happens on your wall for the whole wall to fall down are you...presuming you want to keep it from them
I use Facebook daily. I need it for my job. Although on my profile, it says that I'm interested in women :lol: I have to keep up appearances for my job...
Nope, more like ut was hard to accept myself. I also went to a small school in a "everyone-knows-everyone" community. My social-life flourished at the age of 16 because of where I went to study. Always been extrovert, but I became more confident after coming out. Might have affected my situation.
I think confidence is one of my biggest problems. Now that I'm out to myself, I've been feeling more confident, and even a little more comfortable in my own skin. Hopefully things will only go up from here.
Honestly, if anything I lost friends since. And my social life wasn't terribly thrilling to begin with. :lol:
