So whatever the situation of marriage equality in your country, imagine that you had equal marriage, a long term partner, and you were ready for marriage. Since, for those with same sex partners, the guy on one knee, with a diamond ring proposing to the woman won't work, and even those who might end up with people of a different gender might not appreciate traditional hetero-relationship dynamics, how would you go about an engagement? Would you want to propose, or your partner propose to you? Or maybe something a little less one-sided. What about rings? Or would you stick to another type of gift?
My fiance proposed on Christmas and it was really cute. He got creative with it and hid the ring in a wrapped gift with lyrics from a musical we both love (complete with hand made rose pedals). We both have rings, but nothing super fancy. Mine doesn't fit me anymore for some reason so I've been wearing it on a neck chain.
I would love to propose or be proposed; I don't mind taking on either role. Because I don't believe men should wear a ring that is gaudy and laden with diamonds like a woman's engagement ring, if I proposed, I would probably buy a plain ring made of sterling silver or platinum ring that would serve as the engagement ring (if he said yes, I would buy the same ring for myself and maybe ask if he wanted to give it to me, for fairness' sake). Then, we would buy simple gold bands to serve as the rings to be used in the ceremony. I have thought of not having an engagement ring, but I consider it de rigueur for a proposal and would like to have one for the actual proposal. Perhaps, during the ceremony, we could each remove our engagement rings and slip on the wedding bands. The engagement rings could be used as a neck chain like Daydreamer1 uses his, or they could go in the safe. (And NO rainbow paraphernalia for either the engagement or wedding rings; I don't consider it appropriate for such solemn tokens.)
I want to be proposed to but I would definitely propose right back. I'm on the fence about an engagement ring for myself but if my future girlfriend wanted one then I would buy her one.
I personally don't like the idea of marriage in the way it's typically thought of, though it is likely my partner and I will get married for the legal benefits. So, we've pretty much decided that we're going to get married because we're adults and our lives are very connected in a complicated, monetary, stuffy, paperwork-y kind of way. But we're going to have a sort-of wedding because we love each other and want to share a day of that love with all of our friends and family. So, that means I have to propose I guess. Which, (SHHHHH) I will likely be doing this year... I like the idea of a proposal that's totally not traditional (i.e. one person down on one knee, fancy restaurant, prepared love speech, string quartet in the corner, ring in the champagne etc. ugh...) So, I think I'm going to tailor my proposal to her around something really sweet and individual from our past. Like, one of the most lovely days we ever had together was spent flying kites on the hill of the school where we met. So maybe I would take her to fly kites. Or maybe I would do it via signs in large printed photos around our apartment that mirror photos taken the first few months of our relationship. Something really really special to us alone. We'll stick to rings I'm sure, though maybe on a different finger or maybe just really nontraditional rings. We don't like diamonds because they're so problematic, but I'm sure I can find something really her. And I'm fine with some exceedingly simple ring that won't get caught on anything haha
I'd definitely want to be proposed to, rather than the other way around. I wouldn't want to wear a fancy diamond-ring though, 'cause it seems too feminine for my taste. So a plain ring would be just fine. But the strange thing is, I'd prefer just staying engaged, instead of actually getting married.
I can't see myself proposing to a guy because I don't have the courage to do it. I can see myself being proposed to though. Nontraditional proposals would be awesome. Seeing those flash mob proposals for gay and lesbian couples makes me so emotional. So if I received one of those, then I'd probably be a complete wreck, haha.
I kind of see myself being proposed to. ^ ^ At the same time though a more equal proposal where we both get down on one knee or something would be cool too.
Whether my partner is a boy or girl, I would really love being proposed to. I mean, I'm willing to do the same thing for them if they want me to, but I'd rather have them do it first. :lol: I read online that doing it in front of family or a crowd is a bad idea, but I think it'd be great. That way we can go celebrate with friends and family and then come home to a romantic evening for the two of us. I would love a surprise proposal, and I'd be sure to say yes if they happened to mention they wanted to propose to me at some point before.
I would want to be proposed to in I guess you would say the traditional way with my girlfriend on one knee asking me to marry her. It's just the way I've always pictured it. I wouldn't be against proposing to her though if I felt ready to take that next step.
Probably a mutual agreement in writing, or at least an in-depth conversation not touching on romantic issues. I'm actually serious. Marriage is as much a business contract as a romantic and familial one. Having clear, formal, and permanent conditions negotiated and agreed on is really important to make sure that both partners know what they should expect and how to conduct a marriage. Rings, a party, etc., are not something I'd be interested in. Making sure that the marriage could be stable, friendly, honest, and financially afloat are what matter.
I am strongly against making a decision such as marriage just based on emotion and the whimsical, Disney movie fantasy of getting on one knee and pulling out that ring. It should be a mutual decision, where both people sit down and take a look at the finances, future plans, their careers, their maturity levels, the state of their relationship, and whether or not they're ready to make this huge, lifelong commitment, knowing the challenges that marriage involves.
From my understanding, in a healthy relationship, gay or straight, the idea and issues of marriage come up as the relationship evolves and matures, so, at least in most cases, by the time a proposal comes around usually both parties have, in fact, thought about it and discussed it. I know of several gay couples where one of them proposed to the other in a traditional senses and it worked out just fine.
Haven't given it much thought really. The thought about me getting engaged is one that didn't really cross my mind when I was younger. I never pictured my life that far down the line before. But before I ramble on too much. I'd be prepared to be the proposer xor the proposed. If I were to get proposed to: It'd be really sweet and heart-warming. If I were the proposer: I think my loss for words could be found as really cute, it would probably be something elaborate like a scavenger hunt or something. But before the scavenger hunt, I would probably sit down and evaluate everything with him such as stability, finances, and the like but make it not seem like I'm building up to anything.
Personally I have always pictured myself as being the one to propose mainly because I take a great joy out of planning special things for the people in my life and I would want to make my engagement no different. I'm not big on crazy big diamond rings, like I would want my wedding band to be something simple, but she gets what ever style she wants. I am a firm believer that when you propose to someone, the person shouldn't be shocked that they are getting proposed to (they can be shocked that its in such a cute and sweet way ), because you two have already had conversations about marriage and spending your lives together.
