So, spent weekend up at mom's... Kinda came out of the blue. And in retrospect, kinda wish I'd put my foot down a little harder. Because whole weekend? Kind of a waste. But here's the deal. Okay, so she wants me to help with my 10 year old sister's birthday cake, right? (it's her birthday tomorrow). I agree to help but it's kinda becoming this whole comedy of errors. I'm miscalculating ingredients, I'm losing stuff. Didn't help my mom doesn't have any coffee and I've got a raging headache and can't focus worth shit. Anyway, I'm getting the cake out and trying to apply a crumb coat to it and it's falling apart on me. So she walks in and of course, I'm kinda freaking out as I'm trying to salvage the cake. That's kinda my issue. I'm kind of a perfectionist and even moreso when I'm at her place. Everything's gotta fall into place and if it doesn't, my anxiety's all off the charts and I basically go totally batshit. Anyway. She flips. Makes a big show of throwing my mother's day gift to her to another counter while she's cleaning and calling it junk- lot of stuff like that. We talk later. And it's the usual stuff about how she doesn't think I'm transgender, dredging up my dad. She demands to know if I'm seeing a counselor. Demands to know his name and where his office is. Because, you see, she wants to talk to him. And tell him her side of things. And I can't help but think that that's a little...iffy? Are people allowed to go off and do that? Just tell therapists about their patients and what they should really think about them? ...:help:
Sorry to hear that's been happening to you. I would suggest, if you wanna toy with her, to give her the name of a random psychologist/therapist. Under privacy laws, I don't even think they would be able to confirm if you're even a patient :lol:.
Nah, I told her mine- probably not best idea but I figured she'd find out anyway. I shot him an email (basically just what I wrote here) to give him a head's up just in case she actually does it (good chance she won't). She didn't believe me when I said I was seeing a counselor. I don't know what she'll do when she finds out he specializes in trans issues... I dunno what to do about her, to be honest. I give in all the time when she applies the pressure.
Dude, you're 19. Your mother has no business sticking her nose into your medical issues and talking to your therapist. Are you on her insurance or something? Even then, I don't think she can just barge in and snoop around :/
Nah, not on her insurance. Thankfully. She actually got really fucking pissed when she learned I was paying for it through sliding scale. I'm kind of at that point where if I only saw my mom like, maybe once a year at most, I wouldn't be too cut up about it.
Wow, a mother who is pissed her child is seeking professional advice and that they can afford it is really low!
Yeah, she wanted me to seek out therapy though. But most therapists out in town don't take my insurance anyway. The guy I'm seeing though, he's one of the few I can easily afford. So thankfully, my insurance won't be an issue. Ugh. Never staying over alone at her place again.
Don't worry. Your mom can't legally get any details about your therapy with your doctor. You're over 18. Even if you WERE on her insurance still, you being over 18 would guarantee Dr./patient confidentiality, I believe. If your therapist gives her any details whatsoever or agrees to talk to her about anything going on with you, drop him like a hot potato. He's breaking the confidentiality privilege and probably the law and he's WAY outta line, professional ethics-wise. Anywho, I wholeheartedly agree that it's probably best to just...distance from mom, these days. 'Til she comes around, if she ever does. :/ Sorry. (*hug*) Also, don't feel too bad or beat yourself up too much about caving under parental pressure. It takes a long, long time for most kids to ever feel like they can 'hold their own' against their parents...well into their adulthood. (And some never do.)
Thanks. Did get an email back from my therapist. And he was basically all- Okay. You're over 18. You can get drafted, get married. She has no legal involvement and if she did decide to come in, you're fine. It's patient confidentiality. I suggest she should look into counseling considering how she's having trouble accepting your life decisions/counseling. So yeah.
Good god I feel like you're writing a description of how every interaction I have with my dad goes. It's quite hard, but you do need to put your foot down and make sure there's no room for interpretation that you're an adult and she has no right to tell you what do do. She neither wants to nor does understand that you're a grown man, not the little girl she keeps treating you as. Drawing a line in the sand is a bold step that takes a lot of balls, but it's a turning point.
The answer is: FUCK NO Therapist-client interactions are privileged under LAWS probably including HIPPA. And they exist for a reason. Your belief that this is "iffy" is very, very well grounded. Yes, it's iffy. It's a complete non-starter. Your mom is asking you to disclose the name and contact information of your therapist because she wants to interfere with your treatment. In fact, even if you gave the therapist's real name, I still think (with 99.999999% confident) it's against the law for him to even talk to your mother without your written consent.
According to HIPAA, your mother would not be able to speak to your therapist without your consent since you are over 18. Yes, your mother does sound a bit crazy.
Wow your mother and my stepmother sound so alike, it's insane... I know exactly how you feel though with your mother going off like that. I'm really sorry you have to go through that. If you want to talk, I'm here. (*hug*)