What do/did your parents say about gay people in general?

Pre Out Gay Son:
My Mum is generally a quiet person so I never heard her say anything positive or negative about LGBTIQ.
My Dad on the other hand is an ex trucky / road worker / mine worker / labourer - the typical tough aussie bloke. When he got mad at something or someone he used things like "fucking faggot" or "fucking poofter". He would use the same kind of language if he saw anything gay related on TV.

Post Out Gay Son:
Mum talks about it positively with me and other family members where needed, we don't usually talk about it unless I'm talking about dating or an ex boyfriend or something.
Some of my Dad's friends still use some derogatory gay language like he used to. He doesn't tell them to stop, but he consciously uses different swear words in response.
I think the old guy actually gets a bit offended by it, like it's somehow an attack on me, isn't that nice

I know mine's not very shocking, but others will be.
Cool topic though so thought I'd share.

Peace be with you.

 

I am not out so let's get this out of the way first.

Mother: My mother is a strange case. She sees gay people normal. She cries and wonders how a mother can be so cruel while watching "Prayers for Bobby". Had/have a gay co-worker/friend she still talks from time to time after retirement... considerin my mother never phone people often it is something remarkable. Yet when I jokingly said "I could be gay" she said she would kill me with her bare hands.

Brother: Hmm another curious case for me. He is very open minded and probably guessing I am gay but still jokes and talks about gay people in very crude and cruel way.

Aunt: God, No! She is a total bigot. As she suggested we should burn down all the temples (like churhes) in here as this is a Muslim country... no. I don't care what she says and thinks but being sister of mom, she should face her tongue too often.

Those are first and most important people I consider family.

 

Negative things. I never heard my dad talk about it, but he thinks the same as most people his age around here. My mom I heard her say bad things about gay people, she's one of those people who thinks it's not natural and that they shouldn't adopt children and etc. Of course, I'm not out to them. It would be a disaster.

 

Before my mother seemed to dislike lesbians, she thought they were all predatory and such, she used derogatory terms to describe them at times. I spent most of my life avoiding her when possible so I don't exactly know what her thoughts were. Now she says I changed her views about lesbians and all that(I don't know how /shrug). She isn't very kind about trans people but I attempt to change her mind, to get her to stop and think for a second instead making cruel assumptions as is her nature. She has gotten better in some ways and in others she's still the same.

My dad never said a bad thing about lesbians to my limited memory, never really mentioned us at all before. Now he did make the average jokes about gay men and such. From time to time he gets hit on by men and has been neutral in response before and after. He now goes out of his way to mention LGBT topics he sees on tv and such.

I find it slightly amusing that people tend to be uncomfortable with homosexuals of the same gender but not the opposite in a lot of cases.

 

My dad is pretty much disgusted with gay people and he seemed to make it obvious by commenting on people who are gay on tv. It's even annoying how when he sees someone weird on a show he automatically assumes they're gay. My mum on the other hand which I think is more dangerous thinks that gay people are ok as long as they don't "flaunt" their sexuality as well remaining to be celibate and she even applauds gay people who decides to marry someone from their opposite sex (I feel sick even typing this out)

 

Hey I'm new to this community and not out. I'm still sorta figuring things out for myself right now but I have thought about telling people for a while.

My Dad:would be totally fine with it probably be proud of me. I feel like telling the parent who likes the same gender as you do can be easier for some people because they will understand the attraction more then the parent who doesn't like the same gender as you do.

My Mom: I'm honestly not sure. She is completely fine with gay people (I come from a very liberal family) however I am not sure if she would really believe me so much since I can be attracted to men (in a solely physical way) and I think she considers bi sexual women as just attention whores. She would probably be fine with it once she realized I was serious, though I don't think I could talk about relationships with her.

My Sister: nothing to say here she really wouldn't care. Probably immediately start making jokes about it.

My Friends: I have a few very close friends that I could almost consider family. They are all women and I'm afraid telling them would make them uncomfortable, especially since I sorta have a bit of a crush on one of them. I feel one on one they would be fine but in a group they often like to talk about boys and I just never have enjoyed this even before I realized I might be gay and I just don't want them to feel uncomfortable doing this around me.

Anyways those are my thoughts on the matter.
Very good question

 

My father never says anything about gay stuff at all, but my mum has her moments. "Liking x is so gay", or calling a guy on a tv-show "that homo", while she mentions everyone else on said show by name. But one of my uncles is gay, in a long term relationship and my parents and them are pretty close so I know they don't mean it like a bad thing.

What should be noted: I'm not out to my parents, but I know they suspect I'm gay.

 

My mom uses "gay" to describe her cats and dogs when they act soft and goofy. I've called her out on that.

My dad never uses gay. He always said call someone an asshole if they are an asshole.

I guess they tolerate gay people.

As far as transgender and genderqueer... they are less enlightened. They may be outwardly tolerable but they just think that they are probably crossdresser homosexual people.

And I'm quite sure there is an undertone of "It's ok, just not if it's my son" despite how much they say I love you.

But are they outright lgbt-phobes no.

By brother on the other hand...

 

Before and after coming out, as long as i can remember my mom used to say: why should I care who other people sleep with?

 

Before I came out my parents would occasionally say sort of mildly homophobic things--I think my mother felt bad for gay people and my father would just make sort of snide jokes, nothing awful but it was clear they weren't that accepting. After I came out they wouldn't ever say anything like that. Other than right when I came out we don't really talk about "gayness" except in a sort of political way--my parents think it's amazing and awful that it's legal to discriminate against gay people most places in the US, etc. We instead just talk about my life--but we do talk about it, we'd talk about who I was dating and what they were like, where we went on dates etc. Now that I'm in a LTR--they love my partner--in fact occasionally my partner will be on the phone for a good ten, fifteen minutes and about the time I am starting to wonder who he's talking to he will hand the phone to me and say "it's your parents".

One interesting story about the transition: A few days before I came out my parents took me shopping to buy me a new winter coat. There was a gay couple in line ahead of us--not that common in Utah 20 years ago--and my father made a sort of off-handed remark about them, not tolerant, but not vicious either. Anyway, I come out, my parents were very accepting (I had had no idea how they would take it but assumed it would be bad), and then about a week later my dad comes to me really torn up. Apparently he has been replaying that scene in the store in his head over and over all week and is deeply upset, hopes I can forgive him, knows now it was insensitive and ignorant... I honestly hardly even remembered it, but he was really torn up about it. So, no, my parents don't say anything homophobic any more.

 

I don't recall either of my parents ever mentioning homosexuality or gay people in any context in my presence growing up. Same for my grandparents when my mom and I lived with them when I was little.

I have a vague memory from HS of my dad's ex-wife telling me telling me that he thought I was gay when I was younger. And I think my mom mentioned the same thing when I came out to her. So I guess there had been some conversation at some point.

I was thousands of miles from home when I came out to my mom, so wasn't around for any subsequent discussions when she was telling the rest of the family.

Todd

 

My mom used to say some pretty offensive shit before I was out.

She said gay men just wanted sex, and that the top would just use the bottom for sex and when the bottom's bottom was all worn out and incontinent, the top would run off and find another.

She said this after confronting me about my secret gay fanfiction stash. She has this habit of shit talking whatever interest I have that she doesn't approve of. She even went on about how gross the vagina is, but I don't remember if that was before or after I was out.

She doesn't believe bisexual men exist, she thinks they are just horn dogs who would screw anything given the right circumstance. She said most lesbians are the result of abuse.

And don't even get me started on what my dad said!

 

My parents are super homophobic and it drives me nuts. They don't take gay people seriously, the whole thing is a big joke to them... they could be watching a tv show and a gay character comes on and they'll laugh and say the most ignorant offensive things... and it just makes me wanna scream HELLOOOO do you not realize you have a gay son right in front of you, how can you say these things?! :eusa_doh: I want to believe that one day my mom will understand, but I don't think my dad would ever accept it.

 

My mother is a Catholic, and she accepts me 100%. When I came out, I was the only one crying. She said she's known since I was 5. Apparently it was only news to me. She's not just my mom, she's my best friend, and has made countless sacrifices for me. I can talk to her openly, and we even say things like "Do you think that guy's cute?" to eachother.

My father is out of the picture more or less, but fine with it.

My step mom is very nice and taught me how to dance. She's fine with it, but I don't think I've ever discussed it with her.

My 80+ year old extremely Catholic Grandparents accepted me 100% and immediately. Before I was out my Grandmother made a comment saying she thinks gay people are made that way, but she doesn't understand why they want to use the term marriage. I think she understands it a bit more now. My grandparents are still alive and I see them every week. I think of my Grandfather as if he was my father.

I haven't been in contact with anyone on my dads side in many years, they are Jewish, but I doubt they object on Religious grounds, as my Grandma put it, they don't really do the whole "God thing". One of my cousins is obviously gay, and I think there was some trouble when he came out, and I think he lives with his boyfriend now. I hope they came to terms with it.

I guess I'm just really lucky with family, or atleast the family I'm in contact with.

 

I honestly have no idea how brother would react, and it doesn't really matter to me. He'd probably be okay with it.
I know for a fact that my parents would accept and love me when I choose to come out to them, as they're very accepting and tolerant people, and as I've dropped hints to my mom about my sexuality since I was 14 and she was completely unfazed

I don't know what other family members might think but I don't care about them enough.

 

Eh, My father, mother, and brothers seem to having nothing positive to say about homosexuality at all.... My mother might be easier to tell one day, she is a very sweet, caring person..... but my father and brothers are, eh, not so "gay friendly".

 

My father is one of the most accepting people I've ever known. He doesn't really say anything about them as he just sees them like any other person.

My mum and step dad are the same. They even have some gay friends.

Happy days

 

I know my mom has no problems with gay people, i think she has a couple friends how are? maybe?
And i have no clue about my dad, i don't think he has any friends lol and i havent heard him say anything positive or negative

 

Parents have never said anything about gay people, positive or negative, or for that matter any racist comments either. They are very open minded.