Do you think it wrong to speak ill of the dead?

No. Sometimes it's deserved, when the dead were bad people.

 

Given the situation of that person's contribution in his entire life, It's understandable when we give no remorse to the person who have done wrong especially if you, yourself is the victim.

 

I am beyond pissed when someone tells me to not speak ill of the dead... We are living with right and wrongs...

If you did something wrong while you are alive, dead doesn't correct that mistake.

 

Personally I hate it when someone who is a complete S.O.B. dies and the funeral director is like "He was a good man, a great father, and loving husband". No, he was a lousy S.O.B. that beat his wife, ignored his children, and was pretty much destructive to society in general!! I'm glad the S.O.B. is dead.

If I think you are a useless waste of life while you're here, I'm going to think you were a useless waste of life after you're gone. You will not be missed.

 

I'm not sure about right, but it won't do you any good to speak ill of anyone, living or dead. It's just a waste of time, and it usually makes the person saying them feel unpleasant, as well as anyone listening.

 

This thread reminds me of the death of Margaret Thatcher last year and the re-release of the song Ding, dong the witch is dead in celebration of her demise. The song made number one in the UK charts that week. There were people in this country, especially former miners, who shed no tears on hearing the news of Thatcher's death (quite the opposite in fact) and some people even turned their backs as the cortege passed through Central London en route to St Paul's Cathedral.

You need to be very careful when you express sorrow to the family of the deceased for their loss. On more than one occasion I've heard relatives say "I'm/we're not sorry to see the :***: dead". There are some people who rejoice, rather than mourn.

 

It does much good to speak ill of those who deserve it. We aren't talking about bitching about how much someone weighs here or how many people they've slept with. We're talking about calling about abusers, trying to right wrongs, preventing further suffering. Of course it does good.

 

Heck no. If you thought I was a dick when I was alive, why should that change just because I'm dead...

 

No. If someone was evil in life, why would I not say so after they die?

Happy days

 

If your dead what people say is quite low on your list of concerns

 

Some people deserve to die like Hitler for what he done

 

i'd say it depends on how the person lived their life and how they decided to impact the world. Hitler did a lot of things for germany, and people tend to look past that because of the holocaust.
For me, i really don't hold back on anyone. if a person was a prick towards the end of it's life, then i will continue saying he/she was a prick even after death. if not, then i'll speak respectfully about them.
as i move on towards life, i find that the hardest thing to do is to forgive.

 

If somebody is a scumbag in life, I'll readily call them a scumbag after they die. That doesn't mean I'll say it to that person's family, but there's no reason why someone's death means we're not allowed to have bad opinions of them.

The biggest case of this I've seen: Michael Jackson. He was mired in allegations of child molestation and being a general all-around freaky guy, but as soon as he died, millions of people came out of the woodwork to call him a "legend". Granted he was, and remained an artist of the rarest talent until the end, but that doesn't mean we have to think he was a saint now that he's gone.

 

Great question.

For those grieving, what I see happening initially is giving their "halo effect." Then, when the "honeymoon period" is over, people are able to speak more truthfully about the deceased. Let's face it. If a dead person, when alive, did or said something unconscionable, and they really did, then it IS the truth. There may come a time when it is appropriate or necessary to discuss it.

For me, death absolutely does NOT exonerate them from the lives they led and things they did or said. For those who permanently exonerate the dead, I find that they are typically people who are in denial and may even have some type of "Stockholm complex" going. I've heard several reports that my paternal grandfather had some pretty bad attributes, but I've also been in the room when he was either praised or this aspect was swept under the rug. From what I recall, I don't think I would have been too fond of him.

In terms of those outside the circle that is grieving, they generally call a spade a spade. They are not invested in the deceased.

---------- Post added 26th May 2014 at 09:20 AM ----------

This is pretty blunt and even funny.

 

It is important not to speak ill of the dead. It is not for the sake of the dead, they don't care, but out of respect for the living who diid care for the deceased.

As for media figures and those of historic importance, unless you're family or close friends, such a rule needn't apply. Most likely they were judged while living, and so they'll be judged in death.

 

The problem with that is that people have short memories, and little information.

If we take that approach and we don't speak ill of the dead, and if we feel we can only do that we must say nothing at all, the only people speaking are those praising.

Some of that praise will be justified, others, as it has been noted, will be completely ficticious.

But give it a while and all of a sudden Gary "Wife Beater" Jones and Helen "Child Rapist" Swan are suddenly, Gary "Nice bloke down the pub" Jones and Helen "Friend to the elderly" Swan.

You can't whitewash stuff just for the sake of others...nobody likes to think their loved ones were awful people, but that doesn't mean everyone else has a duty to feed their delusion and eventually make it our truth!

 

There's two sides to every story. While I think we should give some respect to the dead, I don't think you have to paint them in a positive picture.

Look at Mother Teresa, most people would be outright horrified if you said anything negative about her, but she had some shady business going on with her "hospices" or more appropriately named Homes of the dying. The sick could have no outside visits from their friends or family and they basically just laid in their beds until death finally came to them. She also received money from the Duvalier family of Haiti which spurred controversy not many today want to talk about because it would be wrong to belittle the "saintly" woman.

Now, while she was never outright evil, I don't think that she should be considered a saint or anything of the sort. She like many people get this whole "halo" effect now that they're dead and there is that sentiment that you shouldn't speak ill of the dead. I think you should defiantly not relish the fact that someone is dead, but I don't think that they are free from criticism just because they're dead.

 

Not at all, as long as you're being critical rather than just rude. Calling someone out on their true nature in life is completely right, but if it's a tide of gratuitous insults and with no respect for relatives etc. then it solves nothing and doesn't speak too well of the deliverer. Speaking about the dead should be no different than speaking about the living; we should all aim for a reasonable, balanced tone, be it positive or negative in nature.

 

I'm wondering if this is somewhat steeped in religious indoctrination. Though I am not a scholar of the Bible, I have been exposed to it and I recall a passage saying 'woe' to those who speak ill of 'celestial beings.' I forgot where it is in the Bible. I wondered if this meant departed souls who are now in heaven, for those who believe in heaven. If we don't know of the disposition of one's soul, how could we make that judgment as to whether they are a 'celestial being' or not? I understand the respect part of this equation, but I have met some church going folks who raised and provided for big families who, deep down, were way more uppity, malicious, and judgmental than they were good and righteous. For me to speak well, or even neutrally, about them is a tough pill to swallow. Granted, I would probably be speaking negatively about them to people other than their relatives, typically in recounting a situation that occurred in the past.