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Introspective

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by duende84, May 29, 2014.

  1. duende84

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
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    Location:
    South Africa
    Guys

    I have not been very active on the forum for a few reasons. I was in the city for a production for 3 weeks. It has been utter frustration since I did not achieve the results I wanted with my artist. Don't you just hate it when you plan things to the tee and it all gets turned upside down?

    Being here in the city at this guy I recorded made me see a few aspects of a relationship that changed my mindset a bit. Since I stay with him and interact a lot with him and his girlfriend I get to basically see all the sides. One of them was a fight that I witnessed one weekend. It shocked me and changed my mind-set very much...

    Some here might know that I met this wonderful guy in my home-town about 6 weeks ago. I like him very much. But I must admit that seening my artist/friends fight with his girl and the basic topics they fought about made me panic.

    And it makes me question: would I be able to be there in totality for this guy that I adore. What if my short temper is shown to him and we end up fighting in a nasty way? What if he does not find my career (failing one at the moment) not to be compatible with his lifestyle?

    So many what ifs and wonders.

    Is it natural to ponder all these things? Am I over-reacting within my own mind?

    I am seeing him tomorrow again for the first time in 3 weeks and I admit that I have missed him every moment of every day since I came to the city. I think constantly about him and we spoke nearly every day over the phone and skype.

    There are other matters in my life that is also heaping up on me like a mountain. Me and my parents are facing a house-move, my career feels like it is going belly up, I am broke, I am in a state of panic to tell my parents that I am gay and to top it tell them that I met a wonderful guy.

    All that I know is that I dont want this to slip. I dont want this to fail.

    /D