First time going to a gay bar?

I'm a loser too, lol, tell me how it goes if you go!

 

What he said. ^

 

Just take a deep breath, you dont have to be a good dancer or anything you could just stay to the side and drink and/or talk to a person or two at the bar

 

Somebody is going to flirt with you I bet. Just be yourself.

 

Getting wasted will usually get you in the party-mood. So that's always a possiblity. Who knows, you might get lucky at the club *wink* You just gotta loosen up a bit.

Once you're there, it wont seem like a big deal. So no need to worry.

 

Haha, I am there with you. But go! Enjoy yourself! Maybe you'll find someone you might like. Haha and don't worry about dancing too much!

 

Wish I had some advice to give you but I've never been to a gay bar either :lol: I know how you feel, I'd be super nervous too... but you should totally go!! It sounds like a good opportunity to enjoy a new experience and you might end up having fun and meeting a cute guy there Make sure to tell us how it went if you end up going!!

 

Just watch your drink.

 

I'm by no means an expert, but I have been to a huge gay club here to dance and I attended the drag show.

The drag show brings both gays and lesbians in. The drag shows are actually pretty fun!

As far as what it's like, it really depends. There are people dancing, drinking, watching shows, grinding, socializing, etc. You can kind of make it what you want. I'd recommend sticking with your friends though. Just be yourself. I'm not a good dancer by any means, but I worked that stripper pole in the foam pit lol. A few of the people in our group didn't dance. They just hung off to the side and socialized which is totally fine.

A few important things to point out:
1) WATCH YOUR DRINK!! NEVER leave your drink unattended.
2) Always question motives. If people are being nice, talking to you, buying you drinks, etc, they are probably only doing it because they want to have sex with you. If you're looking for that, awesome! If you aren't, be alert.

If you have any more specific questions I could try to answer them.

 

This! Haha!!

 

This is the reason why I am hesitant to go to a gay bar but then again I feel like such a loser going out with no friends.

 

Gay or straight club, some people just don't like going to the club.

No shame in that.

 

Been a while since I've been to a gay club, but I doubt they've changed all that much.

A lot depends on the size and atmosphere of the particular club/bar and day of the week/time of day. Some are pretty quiet with people just talking, drinking, and playing pool or the like. Some will be quiet (or downright dead) during the day/during the work week but liven up a lot at night/on the weekend. Assuming you are going at a time when things will be busy and since you mention dancing....

A) you will see a lot of guys, many of them very good looking. Depending on the bar, you may also see quite a few women, and some number of open minded straights, mostly couples, but sometimes a straight guy who just likes the vibe of a gay bar or the music or is there with friends and is confident enough to go to a gay bar. If the bar is big enough or just has the right vibe, you may also see some transgender folks, I would imagine.

B) shirts on the dance floor (or just in general) may be optional. Ideally, shirtless guys should have the body to back up being shirtless. Enjoy the show oh, and guys wearing leather hats, arm bands, vests, harnesses, or whatnot are advertising that they are into leather and possibly some amount of BDSM. Nothing to be afraid of, but just so you know.

C) behavior on and off the dance floor that would get the participants warned or thrown out in a straight bar, even if they were of the opposite sex. Grinding, kissing, and sometimes things involving multiple people and a dash of performance art are not uncommon. If they're really good at it, people will make a hole and just stand back and watch the show. Or at least move so they don't get bowled over.

D) a lot of people standing around and drinking. Some will be talking, some won't. If a guy talks to you he may be just making conversation, or he may be interested in going somewhere and getting naked with you. If you're interested, play safe and exercise common sense. If you're not, then be prepared with a couple of polite ways to indicate you're not looking to hook up tonight or otherwise turn a guy down - politely. You could just say you're there with your friends or that you're just looking to hang out tonight or the like. You can also politely turn down a come on in a way that respects the other person. Being polite can earn you a good conversation or two and may earn you a warning from the established patrons if someone you should be wary of start talking to you.

What you do NOT want to do is just recoil from someone who expresses interest in you as if they are carrying the plague, followed by being rude and abrupt as you tell them that you are NOT interested or the like. This will not earn you points, generally speaking, and the LGBT community is small enough that that kind of behavior can sometimes come back to haunt you. Nobody likes a jerk, so don't be one. Exceptions can be made if the person hitting on you is them self being a jerk or the like.

E) drag shows can be fun. They can involve interaction with the audience so it's possible you will be called out or approached by the performer as part of their act. Don't freak out, be a good sport, and you'll be fine.

Finally, as Lexington is known to sometimes say: Have fun, dammit!

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

I agree with this but I would make the caveat that this is true going anywhere where drinks are served. I've spent a lot of time in gay bars and clubs and I honestly think as far as these "dangers" go that anyone is safer in the average gay bar than any woman is in just about any straight bar in the world.

Have fun!

 

I've been to a gay bar as a male. I feel awkward but when i go as a male BUT when I go out in girl mode, I feel more at home.

 

I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how anxiety tends to melt away upon getting a few drinks. Have fun!