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I'm not gay

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Sitri, May 31, 2014.

  1. Sitri

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    Every once in a while I get these moments where I think to myself, "I'm not gay, what am I doing on this site? I'm just an ally who happens to be attracted to the same sex... oh, wait..."

    Does this happen to anybody else, getting these random moments of denying ones sexuality. In my mind I usually think one of two arguments. "I find women hot, therefore I cannot be gay," but of course I also think the same about men and I have no romantic attraction to women, so that argument is stupid. The other is "I don't act gay," which is so stupid I don't even need to explain the shortcomings of that argument.

    It's strange, usually only happens when I'm tired, and it isn't a big hassle, I usually sort myself out in less than a minute, but I just want to know if anybody else has similar arguments with themselves or if I am just insane.
     
  2. Argentwing

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    I did for awhile, until I realized there was no getting around the fact that I'm as straight as Lombard street.

    [​IMG]
     
  3. TJ

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    You're definitely not insane.
    Accepting that you're different from the majority of people out there, 'The Straights', isn't something that everyone can easily embrace.

    Honestly, I think it's awesome that you do question yourself. You do no harm by trying to understand yourself.
    If you can question yourself and after say, "I'm still a bisexual homoromantic" (or whatever you consider yourself), then that's awesome because you'll be more confident moving forward.

    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing." --Albert Einstein

    Just my two cents.
     
  4. confuseduser99

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    Yeah, I used to say to myself "I'm not gay. I don't act that way, talk that way, or dress that way. Then, I eventually started to realize and accept that I'm pretty damn gay.
     
  5. TheStudent

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    Yeah, I go through phases like that a lot but I'm comfortable with it nowadays which is the opposite to how I used to react to them a few years ago.
     
  6. AudreyB

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    Internalized homophobia? Perhaps society's stigma of being gay has so strongly imprinted itself on your mind that it has created this reflex response?

    I'm the same way, but with my gender identity (internalized transphobia). Much, much less so than I used to, though.
     
  7. Randy

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    Whoa...this site is for people who are gay?? I must be on the wrong site, I'm straight…
    *thinks of relationship with a guy* I guess my thoughts and my heart are gay :slight_smile:
     
  8. Hexagon

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    Yeah. It passes, though.
     
  9. wardrobeescaper

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    labels are for soup cans lol
     
  10. BelleFromHell

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    Yeah, you're definitely not alone. I don't think my internalized homophoia will ever go away.
     
  11. stocking

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    There are straight people that come to this site and are members have you heard of straight ally he's a member here that's straight
     
  12. Sitri

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    Glad to know that I'm not insane.

    "That horrible conclusion which had so gradually been obtruding itself upon my confused and reluctant mind was now an awful certainty. I was gay, completely, hopelessly gay within the vast labyrinthine recesses of my own closet."
     
  13. gravechild

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    It's a normal part of the whole coming out process - I think of it as a pressure valve for those of us who aren't quite comfortable with the idea yet. If we can at least entertain the the thought of being straight, we stay somewhat sane for the time being. In a way, it's logical that your mind would shift back-and-forth while you're still fighting your way to the acceptance stage.
     
  14. XenaxGabby

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    I sometimes forget I'm gay and sometimes I just can't believe that I really am. It's weird. I never thought I would be gay.
     
  15. Joelouis

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    You're not alone.

    I regularly wonder what I'm doing here given that I've never got that close to a guy, apart from someone when I was about 17. I talk to many women and flirt with them, and like the odd night with a few friends at a strip club (bloody expensive last time though).
    I want to get married and have kids with my future wife, but I'm worried that I might not be fully committed to her so choose to be single. A strange situation I know but there we go.
     
  16. BMC77

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    I still have problems with the "g" word. Is it because part of me remembers so much negativity tied to it when I was growing up and boys would use gay as a way of insulting/tearing down other boys? Is it that gay takes on a negative vibe when used by homophobes (e.g. the "gay lifestyle")? Or perhaps I'm just still irritated that it got ripped from being a word for "happy" to something describing sexual orientation, and, in the process, picked up some negative baggage in my mind as mentioned above.

    Who knows. I do use gay; it's about the best choice of the words we have right now.

    But somehow often doesn't feel right. Even though describing certain things that are gay does feel right. Such as, "I'd like a boyfriend this lifetime." Or thinking "I'd date another guy." Or even get married to a man. It's just the label, not what it refers to, that still doesn't feel right.
     
  17. Peacemaker

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    Yea, that happens to me i hear the word "gay" and i kinda clench up, if that phase any makes sense
     
  18. AudreyB

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    :roflmao: Although I'm pan instead of gay, mind if I reserve this for a future sig? Lovecraft reference ftw! :thumbsup:
     
  19. Sitri

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    Go ahead. I was wondering if anybody would notice the reference. It is one of his more obscure works.
     
  20. QueerTransEnby

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    Yep, I was called "gay" before I had figured my sexuality figured out. It has been since 12 fighting this stigma as I grew up in a very conservative home and went to a rigid Christian school. I mean my parents raised me on Dobson for real. If Dobson's "Plugged-In" didn't approve the movie/music, I couldn't see it or listen to it. Yet, we as a society need to be "so worried about a gay agenda"...LOL. Oh, just typing this is great therapy I swear.

    Even in real life I still think, I really came out. Is this a dream? I have really come out to 11 people. When you've lived 19 years of your life in denial, it becomes so ingrained in you.