''Her'' is mom. She died 12 years ago and i know it sounds like a lifetime ago but to me it isn't. We had an amazing relationship. She knew how to make me feel like i mattered more than anyone else in the world. I had a dream last night. She had come home to visit (she worked in a neighbouring country). Like always her visit was as epic, in the dream, as it usually was in real life. It was a bit harder growing up without her. I never felt as loved by anyone else and sometimes i wonder how she'd have loved the grown up me....though i know she'd have been super-proud. The one thing that brought a smile to my face was that after all this time, i still remembered exactly how she looked. Sometimes i wish i was this powerful person and immortalize her by naming something after her. I know i'm babbling. I guess i just wanted to put it out there. Just to talk about one person that i loved more than anything. Oh how i miss her!
Hi there! It is totally okay to write, talk about how you feel. Missing her is okay too. She was a wonderful mom, and you two had a great relationship. Keep cherishing all the moments you had with her. (*hug*)
I'm glad you put it out there TeePee. You should never be afraid of, or hold back from talking about someone so very special who had a positive impact on your life. You had the relationship with your Mom that so many people on EC yearn for and there's a lot of comfort you can take from that - she was everything a Mom should be. Talking about her and remembering her is so important and you are bound to miss her terribly, even after 12 years. I still miss my Mum, 11 years after she died - I always will. My Mum's death left a void that will never be filled and I feel incredibly cheated that I never had more years with her. This is just my opinion (and it's what I try to do myself)... but the best way to immortalise your Mom and honour her memory is by living your life to the fullest and realising every dream she held for you. So even though I still feel the pain of my Mum's loss, I've tried to channel the emotional energy of grief in a positive way to be a better and bigger person. It's not always easy as there are low days when I'd rather stay in bed, but I just have to give myself a kick and push through it. As long as I focus on what my Mum would want for me, I can do it. So I'm sending a virtual hug your way (*hug*) (if you'll send one back) and please, please keep talking about the special person that your Mom was and never stop remembering her.
For me death is not the end. It is just another beginning to different phase of our existence. As long as you feel her love she is still with you. Linco put everything beautifully other than that so just want to add this and another virtual hug. (*hug*):icon_bigg
Thank you guys. Linco and white knight, i'm definitely sending one (hug) back. I thought it was weird to have her as inspiration for things i want to achieve. Most people look at me and my dreams as if i'm just being too unrealistic and insane, but her? I know she would cheer me on no matter what. It's my grandfather and her who never made me feel like there was something wrong with me. I never grew up with internalized homophobia, or self loathing of any kind because they were ok with whatever i was or chose to do, never forced me into liking the traditional ''manly'' stuff. Even though she's gone i still feel like i have to make her proud.....and that keeps me going
