I just came out to my mom the other day and she is the only family member I'm out to. I want to come out to the rest of my family too just haven't got around to it yet. This isn't what I'm talking about though. What I'm actually talking about is about two years ago I started coming out to my friends where I lived and was actually getting comfortable and enjoying actually being able to be me for the first time in my life. Then the place i worked shut down. It took four months and moving almost 100 miles for me to find work again. As i made friends (mostly people i met at work) i had to start coming out all over again. Then someone at work got on my nerves (nothing related to me being gay) and my temper punched him so i got fired. It only took me a week and a half to find another job (direct competitor doing exactly the same thing but for more money) and i have lost contact with most of my friends from my old job so i am having to come out all over again! I have not ever received any real negative responses but frankly this gets kinda old after a bit. Telling family is hard but worth it but constantly making new friends and having to come out over and over gets old quick. I'm thinking about buying a bunch of shirts with LGBT messages on them and not wearing anything but them for a month lol.
Are you actively coming out to people? As in, are you specifically telling people that you're gay just so they know about it?
Mostly like today I was talking to one of the guys at work and somehow the conversation wound up with him talking about wanting to go to the "gentleman's club". I said something along the lines of I didn't want to go because I'm gay. I am masculine almost to the point of being the stereotypical jock type (which I'm not) so most people think there is no way in hell I could be gay. I am constantly in the middle of the " wouldn't you like to bang her" conversation. I don't go around telling people I'm gay just where they will know, but if I find myself in a conversation like the two above I will let people know I'm gay. It's just frustrating to constantly have to tell people I like guys. And even more frustrating that half of them don't believe me.
This is one of the main reasons for my "I don't scream it or hide it" status. For a while I moved around a lot. Then I started working at places that had a lot of turnover. I do not consider it to be my responsibility to inform the world about my sexuality. So to me, being out is a state of mind, rather than a result of telling everyone I know. I have a long term female partner (28 years together). I talk about her regularly and comfortably, like anyone else would about their partner/spouse/bf/gf. I do absolutely nothing to hide the fact that we're together, that we live together, that we make decisions together...she was on my insurance for a number of years for Pete's sake! If people don't pick up the fact that I'm queer, it's through no action of mine. As far as I'm concerned, *this* is what it means to be out...you don't care who finds out and you live proudly that way. Now from the information they have available, people often make the assumption that we're lesbians. When I hear actual statements along those lines, I generally say something like, "that's an assumption you're making", or "that's not actually a safe assumption". Sometimes they get really confused by that, and I enjoy that, lol...if they can't figure it out, they deserve to be confused or to be in the position of having to ask, if they really think it's their business. I make the same cryptic comments when people make casual assumptions that a person is straight because they're married or have an opposite-sex partner...you can't assume they're straight from that! I mean, sheesh, if A lives with someone of the opposite sex, do people really think it's their business to know whether they're straight? Whether they're having sex? I think not. But it's worth pointing out that an assumption is being made that isn't a safe one. Meh, I'm rambling. *gets off the soapbox*
Yeah, I will stay DADT at work when I find a job. It's not my business to tell the world. If someone asks me that I don't consider biphobic, then I would share it. I took this same stance when I was "straight" so I am not being a hypocrite.
I kind of know how you feel, it's especially tiring because there aren't any common terms for my identity. If I tell people I'm queer, a lot of them will say something like "I thought gay people don't like that word" and then I have to explain that it's an entirely different thing. If I say I'm non binary they won't have any idea what that means either. I hate the term bisexual, because I'm not attracted to just two genders. In some parts of the world they acknowledge 3 or even 5 genders.
I am to the point of ( excuse my language) "Look around and see all the f*cks not given... oh look that one is flying away!" So there is no more worrying about coming out. If the person realizes then ok life go's on. If not guess what? Life goes on. One, I already found out who I am and who I will be... Now its the worlds turn to figure out how to deal with it by themselves. Leave me out of the drama. Lol, my bad for being gay..lol I can hear people now. Better not let your kids around that guy! They might catch.... "The queer-o-sexual!" *cue the duns* and second I am not going to let coming out and my sexuality dictate everything in my life. I am just done! X3 Go home society, you're all drunk. XD
