1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Is it true women get bored with you when you agree with them all the time ?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by stocking, Jun 9, 2014.

  1. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I am opinionated person , In the past and even now I hide this from the girls I dated , I would always pretended to agree with stuff they liked or had opinions on because I was scared if I disagree they would think I was either mean or not a nice person . Heard that some women can get bored with this type of behavior and like it when you disagree with them a little and even Now I'm wondering is this true ? should I express my opinions more , the weird thing about me is if I like a girl I let her win arguments on things I don't agree on her at all . I decided maybe i'll show my true self from now on . So my question to you guys is is it true women get bored when you agree with them all the time ?
     
  2. kageshiro

    kageshiro Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2012
    Messages:
    655
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    in your soul
    I get bored if people thoughtlessly agree with me cuz it shows they aren't interested in anything I'm saying

    ;-;
     
  3. Yosia

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2014
    Messages:
    1,791
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    It makes me feel like i am always correct when people agree with me ^.^
     
  4. Wolf123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2014
    Messages:
    338
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I like a challenge. Someone to tell me what I need to hear, rather the sugarcoating it for me.
     
  5. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I am that person I just get scared of hurting the woman's feelings and get scared that I'll lose her :icon_sad:
     
  6. Wuggums47

    Wuggums47 Guest

    Well, I'm not a woman, but I don't think it's only women who are like that. I would want someone who's capable of forming their own opinions, but if they disagreed with me a whole lot on issues of morality, I'm not sure I could get along with them. And I could never date a republican, no offense. Government aid programs saved my life.
     
  7. Aussie792

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2013
    Messages:
    3,317
    Likes Received:
    62
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Disagree on small points if you want to. It shows that you're engaging in it and have some genuine beliefs, but at the same time it doesn't cause a great deal of friction.

    However, I believe it's best to openly disagree if you feel it. Most people like someone with personality. There's no way I'm going to be quiet on an issue just because I like a guy who disagrees (of course, while flirting, it may be a bad idea to engage in active debate)

    Coming across as a push-over is both boring and attracts the wrong people, people who like having power over partners. It's better to be assertive, but sweet and polite.
     
  8. paris

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2013
    Messages:
    813
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Bohemia, CZ
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    For me a good relationship is where you make each other a better person and when you challenge each other but how would that be possible if I or my partner was a "pleaser"? I want to get to know the other person, I want them to be real and trust me with their opinions even though it means there will be times that we won't agree on things. No two people think alike, much less agree on everything and it's absolutely fine.
    You just need to learn how to disagree in a polite manner, e.g. listen to the other point of view and stay calm. Never, never make it a fight. Arguing can actually be so much fun when done right. :icon_wink
    I don't know if I'd get bored with that person but I'd surely not fancy to be in a relationship with someone who's "fake", and could even consider to end such a relationship.
     
  9. thekillingmoon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2013
    Messages:
    940
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Europe
    Not so much boring, it just feels like a fake personality when someone only says what you want to hear. Most of the time I'd prefer their honest opinion.
     
  10. Opheliac

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2014
    Messages:
    898
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    The Eastern Ind.
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Hiding real opinions gets hard after a point. You should at least put your point of view on the table, even if you don't have an active argument about it. People need to accept that different people will have different views on things. I don't think it's just women, it applies to everyone.
     
  11. AudreyB

    AudreyB Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2013
    Messages:
    1,744
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Yep, I know I do. Not only bored, but suspicious, like what is their real agenda? Can't have anything to do with respecting me as a person, because if they were, they'd drop the pretense and deal with me on a genuine level.

    That said, if you do disagree, I will want good arguments from you, always good arguments. Extremely few things less attractive than a thoughtless person. :slight_smile:
     
  12. BookDragon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    4,605
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Imagine we are having a conversation.

    We start talking about something you are interested in, what ever you like. For the purposes of this example, I'm going to go with TV.

    You notice that while I am listening intently, I'm not adding a lot to the conversation. I might ask you questions, oh "What is your favourite show" and you will answer and I'll say "Yeah, I love that one...". You'll tell me your favourite character and I'll laugh and say "Yeah, she's the best!". You'll tell me about your favourite episode and I'll say "Yeah, that one was really funny!" (and you'll be silently confused, because that episode was heartbreaking!).

    You'll tell me we should go watch some episodes of this show, it would be cool to hang out, you know? I'll agree. We start watching and you notice that I'm pretty vacant. I'm humming quietly to myself. I'm checking my phone or picking at my nails.

    You start to realise I'm not that big into this show.

    You ask me about it, and I'll make something up about being tired or that I'm distracted by other thoughts...

    Next week we meet up again and we talk about something else and the same thing happens. I sit their agreeing with everything you say because you said it and I don't want to give you the impression that we have nothing in common, so I exaggerate my enthusiasm or sometimes outright lie about it!

    You tell me how long it takes for you to get bored?

    Because we aren't having a fun discussion, you are giving me a lecture, and that isn't what you wanted to happen.

    I'm not telling you anything about me. You are letting me know about you, and I'm sharing nothing. How can you know the real me if I'm not honest?

    Talking about TV is seriously basic. If you don't like the same TV shows it's not the end of the world, and that's basically the point. If I'm prepared to present you with false ideas about me over TV, imagine what else I'll feel the need to cover up!
     
  13. Cass

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2014
    Messages:
    768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    West Virginia
    I expect arguments in relationships, not because I need them or want them, it's because it is impossible for someone to agree with me 100% of the time. Excluding an exact copy of me. If you always agree I may wonder if you're lying
     
  14. animequeen567

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2012
    Messages:
    627
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ohio
    Honesty is the best policy. If you disagree with an opinion, kindly disagree and give reasons why. Also, if there's something they're really interested in, say a tv show or game or whatnot, I say try it or give it a chance (as long as it's not illegal) because it could give you guys something to talk about and bond over.
     
  15. Wolf123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2014
    Messages:
    338
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I can understand that. There is a way to disagree nicely though. I think it depends on the person too...some people hate disagreement, I kind of like them because they help me think outside the box. I think if you hold your views in, than that can be tough.
     
  16. Kaiser

    Kaiser Guest

    Joined:
    May 10, 2014
    Messages:
    2,867
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    кєηтυ¢ку
    There's a time and a place to disagree about something. Being tactful is important, I'd say. In public, be considerate, unless it's something over the top. If it's just Person A and Person B, then I'd prefer honesty. I'd rather be called out on some bullshit, or idiocy, than be allowed to go through with it. That reflects badly on, not only me, but the relationship we have, because we can't even trust one another to work through a critique.

    "Oh no! You disagree with me! We have to end the relationship!"

    Anyone that thinks... like that ^ ... is only going to find the bottom of their feet sticky with eggs, because they're walking on eggshells. If you care about someone, be honest. Be polite about it, if you can. I'd rather discuss and work it out, than let it fester until it just explodes. I like to think I'd be with someone intelligent enough, to be able to have a conversation, and be with someone mature enough, to be able to not cross arms and make mean faces at one another, as we have said conversation.

    I don't know about many others, but I'm not exactly keen on the idea of a ticking bomb in my life. LOL.
     
  17. Weekender

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2014
    Messages:
    421
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Georgia, USA
    I'm not sure if it's a matter of agreeing versus disagreeing as much as it is just having a good and thoughtful conversation. I can get a bit heated in some arguments and debates, but I would much rather be with someone that could stand up and present their opinion of things. I have disagreements all the time with my best (girl)friends, but it never threatens to tear down our bonds. If anything, it strengthens our friendship to know that we are totally comfortable sharing our feelings with one another, even if we have different views on things.

    That being said, I probably wouldn't stick around with someone who agreed with me all the time. If I sensed that they weren't being open about their thoughts and feelings, I would get uncomfortable, besides the fact that it would get so boring. Good conversation involves the unfettered trade and flow of ideas, and bouncing those ideas and thought off of one another. I simply feel as if I can't have a good conversation with someone if all they do is confirm what I already know/think. That would make for a very one-sided conversation, and a one-sided relationship.

    Besides that, it can sometimes give the impression that you don't have your own opinion on things. The person who always agrees can come off as very two-dimensional, as if they have very little depth of character.

    As for myself, I've actually found that I'm incredibly open about my thoughts with the people I'm attracted to and the people that I care deeply about. I want them to know the real me, and if they can't handle that then perhaps I shouldn't keep them close to me.

    If you don't feel comfortable enough in your relationship to speak what is on your mind, to the point where you are genuinely afraid of what the other person might do if you disagree with them, then that doesn't sound like a relationship that you should want to be in. It simply doesn't sound healthy to me.
     
    #17 Weekender, Jun 10, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2014
  18. asdfghjk

    asdfghjk Guest

    It's fine in like friendly casual conversations but after awhile or in anything more serious it's kind of a weird placating behaviour and I think it'd be much cooler to epress your point of view I mean just be chill about it and I doubt people will see it as mean
     
  19. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    I prefer honest people, myself. Now you can disagree and be nice and tactful about it, I sure try to. I doubt I would mind hearing disagreements. Sure there are SOME opinions I might get mad over and may even be a dealbreaker, but they'd have to be seriously screwed up opinions that are incredibly harmful, and are thrown at me in an aggressive manner.
    Other than that I don't expect or want my gf to agree on everything.
     
  20. setnyx

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2014
    Messages:
    467
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    live in VERY small town near Erie PA.
    being yourself is imo best. if you pretend to agree, you're being dishonest with them. if you win them that way they're not for you. if you have a different opinion it might be something they've not considered it won't be boring.