I see bonds here that are beautiful. The support that each of us gives to each other is such a great thing. I just want to feel part of "the group" I know I've said I feel glossed over. I'm new. But I do post new threads and comment in others. From some though, I even feel "a cold shoulder" So how I feel. It's not good. Thanks. Connie.
I think that Holly best said it. Hopping in the middle of a conversation with a different course of discussion may be overlooked. As far as being integrated into the community, it takes time. Also, sometimes people simply can't or won't answer certain questions. I personally will not respond to certain threads about sexual activity because I find it inappropriate for me to discuss that with some people. It's not that I don't care I just feel uncomfortable discussing it. Others do that too. Finally sometimes posts are glossed over or ignored if they lack substance. I post stuff that no one pays attention to. It happens on forums. Some of us have been at this and on this forum for months... even some years. Connections require time to develop. However you shouldn't feel unsupported when asking a serious question.
Consider the following: I walk into a bar and and approach a group of people gathered around the pool table. I like pool, they are playing pool, match made in heaven, right? I see these people being super friendly to each other and I think how great it would be to be part of that group. I introduce myself to that group. How long do you think it will take me to become as close to these people as they are to each other? A week? A month? 6 months? A year? I explained to you the inherent problem with some of our threads and how chain conversations cause people to gloss over things. Heck I made a post about comfort eating that I was hoping people would see but that has been missed in the middle of an existing conversation. The difference is, I've been here for quite some time and I know it isn't intentional. I completely understand why you feel like some of your posts are ignored and you are being give the 'cold shoulder', but with the best will in the world, you aren't, you're just new to the group... And actually I think that's an important phrase. new to the group Because you know what, you ARE part of the group. You're one of several new additions to the trans group. You know, every person you see involved in deep conversations here felt basically the same way, I know I did. When I first started here I knew some people saw my stuff and sometimes responded to threads and things, and I could see it was a nice place, but it took my a while to think I belonged here...heck I didn't meet most of my friends here until months after I joined...(*hug*) Just remember it's not a case of you not being accepted or not being welcome, it's just new and unfamiliar territory!
Psshhh. Derailment is part of that connection. Getting in on the chicanery is part of community building.
Well first off, thank you for addressing my concerns. I do recognize the inherent problem of posting during chain conversations, even if my post is specific toward the thread, but not the chain conversation. That is something I will need to work on. I do feel better about all this already.
I'm glad Seriously, we've all been where you are right now and worked our way in...it is intimidating from the outside...(*hug*)
I can only speak for myself. But I stopped replying to you when the majority of your messages to me were of a flirty and "come on" nature, as I tend to be suspicious of overly-flirty people. They make me feel like a piece of meat. When I saw you exhibit the same behavior toward certain of my beloved sisters on this site, that clinched it for me. FWIW, if people are ignoring you, you maybe should consider if how you are presenting yourself is a possible reason.
