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gaydar question? What is it based off?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by straightqueer20, Jun 11, 2014.

  1. straightqueer20

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    I don't really know if someone is gay or lesbian or not. I had two roommates at one point. One was a lesbian and one was bi. And they had dated in the past. I had no clue they were living with them 8 months. The girl who was lesbian. We got on well. Never crossed my mind that she and the other roomie were still friends with benefits. I tend to get a long quite well with butch women lesbian or straight doesn't really matter. But they both seemed to know I liked guys oddly. And I was through that time mostly single and my gender presentation was pretty neutral. My other roommate later on I know she was bi I actually thought she was lesbian by something she said. But I never got like that. I have found this a problem though because idk sometimes like I would flirt with a guy then find out he was gay or straight. I actually used to be more attracted incidentally to gay guys. Now it's usually hit or miss thing really. But it's like this thing where people always seem to read me as someone who likes men. Like once I was around a lot of creepy individuals I would say I liked only girls. And for some reason it was like they though it was laughable. I have been to lgbt support groups it always seems socially it's like known what my sexuality is without me saying it. Idk how that works. Usually it's right. I don't get how though people know without me saying anything on the matter. And it's not even dependent on what gender I am perceived to be. So I'm curious to know what exactly is it how people claim to know off of gaydar or whatever?
     
    #1 straightqueer20, Jun 11, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2014
  2. straightqueer20

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    Like I was once at a transyouth group and people seemed to know already even though we hardly talked about sexualities really.
     
  3. lionfood

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    I think some of it goes off gay stereotypes, and some of it is just people being very perceptive. One thing I've noticed is that straight people have basically no gaydar, and gay people are much better at it. But sometimes you just know. I don't understand how it works but I'm going to put it down to body language and perceptiveness.
     
  4. straightqueer20

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    My roommates perceived me as a gay male. As most in school do. For those who knew me to be a girl they also knew I was into guys. Like no one ever thought I was a lesbian or a straight guy and I dressed like the average guy does. In high school people knew me to be really weird and the like but everyone seemed to know my sexual preference without me saying anything. I just don't get why because it's not like I'm at all feminine.
     
    #4 straightqueer20, Jun 11, 2014
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  5. Kazekage

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    I realized a while ago that straight guys seem to have a very low or no gaydar at all. At least most of the ones I know. Girls on the other side seem to ALWAYS know if you're gay. Personally I knew right away that a guy was gay as soon as I met him. Idk how, I just did. To me it's kind of obvious...I seriously don't know xD but said gay guy knew I was bi right away too... It's kind of a weird concept really, some people just seem to know. I guess girls know guys are gay because of the way those guys talk. I realized this after a while but homosexual men have a softer voice. Oh and they walk with a straight back, not so hunched over, and have a graceful (?) walk. It's hard to explain, it depends on a persons observational skills. And lesbians are easy to identify really. At least the ones I know from school. They have this little group and they're just kind of obvious about it. Or maybe it's because I like girls and know what to look for? I don't know.
    My answer is probably useless to you :slight_smile: but I hope I was at least a little helpful? :slight_smile:
     
  6. straightqueer20

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    I can understand that I guess I do have very youthful boyish voice. In fact people say

    I sound like a male despite my voice being more popular among young preteen early and teen boys So I guess I can understand that when presenting as a guy.
    I get along really well with tomboys and those who know to actually be female consider me a tomboy. But like everyone knew I wasn't a lesbian even though my gender expression or lack thereof were outside of the box.
     
  7. wanderinggirl

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    I think my gaydar gun got lost in the mail. I have no idea how to tell.

    I know some people are really good at it; but not everyone is. Maybe something about how they act around people of each gender. I always look for eye contact. It's not specific, but it works sometimes.
     
  8. straightqueer20

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    me neither like I could live with someone for almost a year and not know. I never could tell if a guy was gay or straight either. I can understand that though. But like I'm always more outgoing with girls and pretty open with girls because I don't feel vulnerable with girls as I do with cute guys.
     
  9. Wuggums47

    Wuggums47 Guest

    Gaydar is based on thousands of years of evolution. Gay people developed gaydar, and then passed it on to their adopted children.
     
  10. Ayla

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    I have absolutely no "gaydar" and I have never been picked by anyone that I have not explicitly told (or shown). This makes me wonder how real the whole concept even is.

    I do not want to have to behave in certain ways so that people will know my sexuality. I resent the fact that the default is heterosexual. If I was in a happy permanent relationship, I wouldn't care, but this limits my potential pool of mates, (which for other reasons is already severely limited,) without me acting in ways that is not me.

    You are lucky that people can generally tell about you; it means you are more likely to find lasting love!
     
    #10 Ayla, Jun 12, 2014
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  11. straightqueer20

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    It isn't that good on this end well when it is known that I am a woman then it's alright. When it is believed I am a guy it can be a bad thing because some people don't like it. And it makes them uncomfortable.
     
  12. straightqueer20

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    I'd prefer a little privacy.