What does sex mean to you?

I consider sex to be an expression of love, typically I reserve it for a partner, I don't have a problem with casual sex if both parties are single even though it's not something I participate in. I disagree with open relationships and wouldn't be in one, but won't judge others who are. Personally I don't separate sex from love. I can't have a threesome, open relationship or be with anyone who's already with someone else. Sex is just how I express love

 

I don't have a large enough number of personal experiences with which to observe my actual feelings on the topic, in or around the particular moment, to say anything with definitive surety - but I would claim what it means to me varies drastically depending on the context of it.

 

For me, it's about intimacy as well as the two of us getting off. I identify as demisexual for my romantic orientation, and so for me, it's more of making love than having sex.

 

anxiety

 

For me It's about expressing love; I can't even feel sexually attracted to someone without that bond. I would never have casual sex or threesomes; any of that.

At the same time, I also think sex is way too overhyped. It's important in relationships yes, but I prefer expressing love in other ways too and I have a low interest in sex. I'm almost asexual, but not quite; more like gray-A.

So basically:
I could never have sex without love
but I could have a long term relationship without sex

And some people are opposite; they like casual sex and I won't judge them as long as they don't force their life choices on me.

 

It's about giving the woman I love access to the most intimate parts of my body and expressing our love physically. There's no way I could have sex with someone I'm not madly in love with.

Like AwesomGaytheist said, it's more about making love than the sexual act itself. If love was a videogame, the final level would be sex (for me, anyway). Once my girlfriend and I have connected 100% romantically, then it's time for sex.

That's huge talk for a single virgin, I know. :lol:
I'd rather wait for passion than rush for senseless lust, if that makes any sense.

 

It depends on the individual, I'd say. Some people view sex as an expression, some as the ultimate physical act, and some as something you don't do, until you're absolutely in love/married/committed. All of these are fine, I think.

As for me, I perceive sex like this. You can have sex with every damn person, if that's your goal. You can have sex with no one, if you so choose. You can be incredibly selective, too. You can have threesomes, foursomes, billionsomes. It's up to the individual. But, see, just going through the motions is kind of like, to me, playing a board game without people, eating a sandwich with just the bread, sitting in an awesome-looking car that doesn't start. You can get some satisfaction and fulfillment from these, but you're denying yourself the extra layers that give these that 'special' experience. I like to believe, I'd rather have something bonding two bodies, and not just an inclination to satisfy lust as the sole reason.

Call me old fashioned, or corny. I've heard it before. But to even allow someone to get that close to me, I'm practically trusting them with the very essence of who I am, and what makes me... well, me.

 

sex for me isn't very highly tied into love I could sleep with someone I hate actually. Actually to think of it the sex is better when I have like stronger feelings in general whatever that is. Whatever emotion I feel for the guy or girl. Usually it's lust but it can be any feeling really like I sometimes I get stressed depressed or really excited and for me it's basically the same thing. I have never really fallen in love very deeply either. I've fallen where I could get up anytime really.

 

I'm naturally a very spiritual individual, so I view sex as a very spiritual connection. In my mind, to be in an intimate relationship with someone is to be connected to them through mind, body, and soul, and I've always viewed sex as an exchange of all those things. You give someone a bit of your mind, a bit of your body, and a bit of your soul during sex, and they give you those bits of themselves in return.

That's why I'll always be very careful as to who I get intimate with. I don't want bits of a stranger's soul floating around in my body if I have very little clue as to what kind of person they are.

This basically sums up my feelings on it:

 

Having sex is fun. I don't think there is an activity I enjoy more than being naked with another man.

 

To me sex is a way to make a loving and even spiritual connection to those the person you love. I understand for some people sex is just fun or to get off, but not to me. Because sex is about love to me, I would never have a threesome or cheat, and I wouldn't even know what I would do if someone cheated on me. Ideally I'd like to wait until marriage to have sex, but I understand that most people don't view sex in the same way as I do, so I'll probably settle for having sex after I've been with the person for many months, and love them with all of my heart. That's the best I could do, I won't be able to have sex with someone just a few weeks in, because while I could be infatuated with them, I wouldn't love them. To me sex won't be about myself when I have it, and even though I'm mostly a bottom, I won't have any problem if the person I'm with wants me to top, because to me the most arousing thing is knowing I'm making them happy.

Although I may have a relatively traditional view of sex, I don't feel that fetishes are bad or anything, and if whoever I'm with has some, I can try them as long as they don't want me to be a sadist or there in to something way to bizarre for me. Also even though I don't want to have sex until I truly love someone, I think the concept that some people have that they have the rights to police other peoples sex lives and make judgements is ridiculous. I also don't believe that sex is filthy or nasty, it's something beautiful to me. And I think that it's wrong to shame people for having sex, or for not being a virgin, or for dressing provocatively.

I realize as I type this that I'm sort of a strange mix between Catholic and Hippy in my views on sex, which is probably because I'm both.

---------- Post added 14th Jun 2014 at 08:19 PM ----------

Also, I think society as a whole places a very high value on having sex, to the point where older virgins are shamed as undesirable. Sex is nice, but to me seeking pleasure is pointless. Soon after you have sex or eat unhealthy foods or make big purchases do anything that brings you physical pleasure, the hunger will return. You can keep feeding your desire, but you will never truly be satisfied. Pleasure feeds hunger, and hunger feeds hunger. True satisfaction will come from creativity, spirituality, and other types of love. I would be perfectly happy having an asexual partner, it's not a big issue to me.

 

No idea. I'm the guy who considers ordering a tombstone saying: "Went to his grave a virgin." :lol:

To be honest, my attitude varies. But usually, I can't honestly see doing something like a hookup, and I also can't say that I'd insist on being married, first.

One other important question: how far does the sex act go? If its something like masturbating with another guy, then I might be OK with doing it, say, with a male friend (if I had any) whom I liked, but didn't love. Something like anal, however, would probably be saved for a serious boyfriend.

Also a factor might be the fact that I've never had sex in any form with another person. That could compel me, at times, to say "I've held out this long, and so I'll wait until someone worth having sex with comes along." Then there might be times when I'd feel desperate to do some sort of sex act with another guy, just to do it before checking into the skull orchard.

 

Sex, like everything else in existence, has no inherent meaning or value. It's just fun with friction.

I've had sex with people without even bothering to learn their name and found it perfectly satisfying and fun. And I've had sex with people I was in love with and found it to be so boring and unengaging that I mentally made up grocery lists while it was happening. And vice versa.

Sex can be a way of having fun with someone you love. But it's not automatically some ultimate and transcendent expression of love beside which all else pales in comparison. Not even close.

Todd

 

In the past, I was strictly monogamous and only associated sex with love. Recently, however, I've experienced a bit of a change. I suppose I'd say I can see benefits to both purposes for sex. It can be just hotness and fun, but I think the best part of it, and what makes it so great, is the emotional intimacy and bonding. It's way of bringing yourself closer to the person you love.

Lately I've started to look into polyamory a bit more, mainly since even though I'm married to a man I wanted to explore my romantic and sexual desire for females. He's been OK with that and it's allowed me to experience things I may not have otherwise.

 

I believe sex and making love are two different things. You can have sex with anyone, but to make love you need a special person. Casual sex would be ok only if both parties are single. While in a relationship I could only sleep with my partner, and would expect him to do the same. I believe it making love it a very important part of a relationship.

 

Cluelessness. The thought kind of freaks me out.

 

I haven't really had a 'good' sexual encounter so idk, makes me feel kinda dirty to be honest. It's not high on my priority list so I guess it doesn't mean a lot to me.

 

Probably the reason I relate it to love is because if you love someone, there's a lot of mental stimulation and enjoyment of being close to that person.

I find the physical stimulation of sex to be boring and I don't feel sexual attraction that often, so to me there's usually no point.

Kind of like a movie. I find most movies to be boring, but with a lover you find them more exciting because they're next to you and having a good time with you.

 

I can distinguish sex from love.. but it depends on person. I never had one night stand and I don't plan to have one but, if I will have one in the future, I'm not scared.

I can be attracted to person sexually even if I don't like him emotionally.. it's just the way I'm.

BUT, there is a difference to me, between having sex and making love...