My ex boyfriend was a good 10 years older than I am (I like guys who are older than myself) anyway he is divorced from his ex-wife after getting married into a Muslim marriage and lived the lie for a good 4 years until he had an affair with a guy, was disowned by his family and his old religion and somehow picked up me. Anyway some gay guys seem him as the ultimate in selfishness, since his wife did love him and he was distraught when she found out and is deeply hurt by the whole thing. I don't see it that way, he was in an impossible situation being gay and Muslim his family is crazy religious etc. so I don't see what else he can do
To hide your "true" nature from those who could or would do you harm for it isn't selfish, it is survival.
While I do realize that if he never got married, his family would hate him and whatnot, but it is extremely selfish to marry a woman when you are gay. Your just going to end up hurting her. He hurt her so he didn't have to feel pain himself, and that is selfish.
dont think he was being all that selfish myself but It would depend on the guy as everyone is different If he had children I can understand how he would want to protect them.
Nope, not selfish. The primary (arguably only) reason for hiding your real nature is because other people literally can't handle the truth. Nobody should be forced to face homophobia head-on and martyr themselves for LGBT awareness. The pressure to be straight (especially from Muslims, holy crap) is so great that the pain of hiding is sometimes less than the pain of the ostracism and hate that might occur. So no, being closeted is not selfish.
I don't think hiding your sexuality is selfish. We have the right to stay closeted for the sake of safety and acceptance. I do think having an affair is, but considering the circumstances I don't blame him for a bit of selfishness and I wouldn't say it was morally wrong of him.
No, and I don't think it's right for heterosexuals to throw the word around and assume it's some easy decision for everyone to go from one to the other in seconds. Ditto to the gay guys who pass judgment: you weren't in his shoes, you can't say you would have done differently.
If you enter into a relationship contradictory to your orientation (that you know full well exist) just to "hide" behind that person (read: use them as a beard), then yes, that is incredibly selfish.
I think it depends on the situation. My mother wanted me to marry a guy even after I told her I wasn't heterosexual. My only punishment was being disowned but I didn't live at home anyway. On the other hand, I have a female friend whose father chose her husband for her when she was still a teenager. She thinks that if she had or would come out now that her family would kill her for dishonoring the family. They know that it would be illegal in the US but some of them don't care. If I was in that situation I'd get out of it, even if it meant living in hiding or defending myself, but I can understand with her being raised in that environment why she'd be afraid to do that.
