Texting, Messaging, Talking

Yeah, been there... and it's a shame that I haven't got anything constructive or helpful to say about it.

I used to always be the one to suggest a night out, a day out or a trip or whatever. IF they replied it would either be a no or a reluctant/uncertain yes.
Unfortunately the bad news is that most of those people weren't true friends and spending time with me usually didn't even cross their minds unless they wanted something or needed emotional support.

It can take some time (and some soul searching) to find real friends, but they are out there.

The only exceptions are if they have a new romantic partner, kids, family commitments, extreme work/study schedule.

So to summarise, if your friends are treating you like shit - - find new friends.

Peace! (*hug*)

 

I have a few casual friendships that are like that, and it's kind of hard because I always feel like they don't really want to talk to me. The thing is, I can tell they enjoy chatting with me. I've just learned to accept the fact that they aren't the sort of people that think to initiate conversations. It can be frustrating, but I'd rather put in the effort than lose the friendship.

 

I'll send you a line, and wait. If it's an emergency or an urgent need to know, obviously, I'll keep attempting. But in general, if I send a message, and nothing comes of it, I just wait 3 days. Then, I'll try again. If nothing happens then, I move on. If I'm important enough, or they need me for something, they'll come back through. That's when we'll discuss the lapse in communication, lol.

As for how I deal with it. I look at it like this, if somebody doesn't want to give me time or respect, why would I sweat that? It makes no sense to be upset about that, because those aren't exactly encouraging or positive influences.

 

I'm usually the one who waits for the person to talk to me first, no matter how much I want to talk to the person. :s I feel like I might annoy them if I constantly start texting them, especially if the don't respond to something I've said. Then again it doesn't help that I have social anxiety. But when I'm comfortable enough around the person I will start the conversation once in a while, and eventually it'll be half the time depending on how close I am to the person.

 

I'm bad at texting back. I have a hard time phrasing responses that I think sound good. Usually I think I'm coming across too cold or something. I also don't like talking on the phone. Mostly because I find it hard to concentrate and have difficulty understanding people. People mumble :/ I get sick of asking them to repeat themselves. This usually doesn't happen in person.

It's not that I don't want to talk with them. It's more like there is a barrier that makes it hard for me to do so.

 

I'm tired of trying to talk to someone and not getting a reply, or getting an annoyed reply. Now I wait for them to come. If they really want to talk to me, they'll start the conversation. If not...an opportunity will come.

 

Yes, I have felt this way before. This is why I'm not with my ex boyfriend anymore. He would barely text me and when ever he did it was usually one word text messages. A relationship with lack of communication is never a good relationship and this includes friendships as well.

 

I'm usually the type that waits for someone to initiate a conversation. I get anxious or worried that I'm bothering them if I text or talk too much. However, I am working on being more confident and taking initiative. I feel that sometimes, you won't get anywhere if you don't put yourself out there and make the first move sometimes.

 

That's the spirit! Not all the people are the same... some are more shy then others, and some people don't pay attention to other peoples initiatives, and keep waiting for the others to initiate a conversation or act.

I had a friend of mine who was like that. One day I told him that he should start taking the initiative to invite the others for a coffee or start conversation or other things (because It was mostly me to take the initiative towards him). He listened to me and now sometimes takes the initiative to talk to me.

 

I was in this situation awhile ago. Basically, I'm not one of these people who make friends easily so I was "depending" on this one girl to be my friend. And of course, she was all I had but she had more than me. She treated me like crap, I was the only person to initiate any contact with her. She would tell me that she'll phone me so that we can meet up during the weekend and never do it. I could leave her 30 missed calls and she still wouldn't call me back even if it's urgent. Basically, it was a one sided relationship and as soon as we graduated she ditched me completely and stopped messaging all together. But at that time I had already figured out that she wasn't a friend to me at all so I was more relaxed and waited for her to look for me. As this didn't happen we lost contact and to be honest it feels great. I realised that she had been crushing me in so many ways and now that I'm free of her presence and abuse I feel great. I guess the point is, as people have suggested before me, if you find yourself to be the only one that initiates contact in any kind of friendship, you should reconsider it. Let the other person look and text you. If they don't, you shouldn't really waste your time with them as they may not really be your friends.

 

I always am having to wait to here from people. I don't know if they don't trust or what. We are all here in the same place, with the same desires.