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I strongly dislike bars, porn theaters, cruising apps and bathrooms

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by edy, Jun 21, 2014.

  1. edy

    edy
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    I know gay people can't hit on anyone in real life because the vast majority happens to be straight. I've never had the chance to start a relationship with the guys I know at school/home (and this is so depressing)

    But I loathe the places were we are practically FORCED to go in order to find a significant other.

    Bars: This is the one I dislike the most. The first time I went I was only 15 years old and nobody came over me, maybe they were scared to be arrested or whatever. I don't like to drink, I don't smoke, I can't dance. I do like the music however these places are crowded like hell, nobody invites me a drink (As I said I don't do alcohol but it's still a nice gesture), and when I hit on guys they might be straight! in a gay bar! and when you go to pride parade it's not 100% sure the guy you like so much is gay/bi... why do straight people even attend these places? :tantrum:

    Cruising apps and online chats: Insert your favorite app's name here, it's exactly the same crap. They all want sex. And the hot guys I like think their sh*t don't smell or that they descend from Zeus so they ignore me. I sent greeting to 30 guys in 2 days and NO ONE has replied yet. Apparently you have to send xxx photos of yourself for them to take you serious, but I happen to a classy person. I like to leave things to the imagination. Unless you show your butt they won't even return your greetings. And when you finally find someone who doesn't think he's the center of the universe and you feel a connection with, he lives like 95245684296845306843594259 kilometers from you or when you actually meet in real life you find out that he's closeted in a straight relationship :tantrum:

    It's very frustrating, tomorrow I will uninstall the app (it's a very popular one, you guys know what's the name of it) and forget about the whole thing altogether. I just can't understand men, I can't even stand them at this point: gay straight bi or transexual men, I like them a lot yes but I just can't relate to them

    Maybe I should force myself to be straight

    ---------- Post added 21st Jun 2014 at 08:29 PM ----------

    Apps are a waste of time, most of them don't even reply and you feel like sh*t inflating some a*hole's ego
     
    #1 edy, Jun 21, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2014
  2. joshy the queen

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    apps have 80% of guys who just want to hook up
    bars clubs bathes those places are mostly full of guys who just want to have fun not love but i do like going to the club and shake my body with a friend but not more than that and i don't drink alcohol or anything
    but to be honest you have been looking in the wrong places those are not good places to look for someone to date you as i told you most people there want to hook up they have no interest in dating or anything and i myself really hate those places sometimes >.>
    you might try to look in social groups of lgbt and places where nice people would be hanging out also sometimes there are people on dating sites who search for meeting friends so maybe try talking to them i remember you can filter the searching filter it to people looking for friends
    not sure if its the same app i used but i did remove it cause i got disgusted and people really gave me bad comments i wrote that i want my to be the queen of my dream boy and people laughed it off well i decided to leave cause they all just wanted to use me and i freaked out dating apps are the worst -.-
     
  3. edy

    edy
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    This is another thing: some "manly" gay men are so horrible, homophobes and misogynist :dry:
     
  4. joshy the queen

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    i think if you ask me you need to hang out with some queen like me at least he would know some gay people and would be your guide to the gay world :smilewave
    im not saying date him though as i know most people around here dont like those type of guys im just saying hang out :thumbsup:

    ---------- Post added 21st Jun 2014 at 08:52 PM ----------

    and i agree they are so stupid -.-
     
  5. edy

    edy
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    Naaah I already hang out with a gay guy (my only male friend) and he's like an expert of the gay world. He's not a exactly a "queen" but he knows a LOT of these things

    ---------- Post added 21st Jun 2014 at 09:02 PM ----------

    And you know? I don't want to date a guy just because I HAVE TO or because I HAD NO OTHER CHOICE, I'd like to date the guys I like but they all happen to be straight, or sex maniacs, or closeted cheaters or self-obsessed a*holes so I'd rather be single until I die
     
    #5 edy, Jun 21, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2014
  6. joshy the queen

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    well are you his only friend too ? if not why not ask him to bring his friends and hang out :icon_bigg and if he knows doesn't he know a good place to hang out around gay people instead of a good place to hook up with them ?

    ---------- Post added 21st Jun 2014 at 09:05 PM ----------

    no im not saying date anyone im just saying meet more gay guys get to know them you never know when love strikes you on one and you just think you two are meant to be ^^
     
  7. edy

    edy
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    Sounds a little bit complicated, I know his gay friends and I don't like them very much. He's the only guy I trust
     
  8. joshy the queen

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    dude your making it hard for me :dry: ok why not go to a social group for lgbt people to get ot know each other ????? i heard a lot of these groups :smilewave go with your friend to meet some new cool people :icon_wink
     
  9. edy

    edy
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    Yeah, I've heard of them and I joined them once few years ago. They're very nice people... I didn't find a potential partner thought. Yes I found one of them attractive but thought it was inappropriate
     
  10. joshy the queen

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    DUDE you dont always just fall in love at first sight like a movie :eek:
    you need to get to know them be friends with them hang out with them you might just stay friends or you might start feeling something later on maybe you will find that you two are so much a like and you will ask him out and so do on hope i helped :thumbsup:
     
  11. edy

    edy
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    thank you for your advices, but I give up
     
  12. joshy the queen

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    :kiss: dont give up yet i bet you will find that someone
    if you stopped looking for love and start looking for more friends to know and hang out he will come to you in no time just dont stress yourself out ok honey :thumbsup:
     
  13. drwinchester

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    Gotta second apps. Given a recent experience of mine, there's really no way you can prove right out of the get-go that the person you're talking to isn't going to turn out to be a complete psychopath or a predator. I don't begrudge hook-up culture in itself. But instead the people who take advantage of the nature of it to prey on individuals.

    In fact, I'm not really fond of this whole anonymous sex culture. Bathhouses. Gloryholes. What's the deal here? I looked after my therapist with the dopiest expression after he suggested bathhouses were a better option than apps to fill my apparent need for anonymous sex.

    (Yes, I'm highly considering changing therapists).

    It's not impossible but it's not always going to be easy finding a partner especially if you're queer. But it happens. And sometimes it happens when you're not looking.

    In fact, my boyfriend and I met through Facebook. There was a group for gay transmen and cis partners and i happened to like one of his posts. He messaged me, we chatted for a while and then we hit it off. He found me. I hadn't been looking. And from there, it was real electric and amazing :slight_smile:
     
  14. Hexagon

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    How about dating sites or lgbt [insert_interest_here] groups. Like I think there is a queer writing group near me, if I could be bothered to go.
     
  15. CravingBass

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    Porn theatres are a thing? 0_0
     
  16. Brandiac

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    I totally know what you're saying, I feel just the same. Witht he exceptiont hat there are probably no bars or anything I could go to either, but judging from the way people tend to act, I don't even want to, unless I want to excercise screaming at people.

    I'm hoping during my Uni years I'll meet someone with a similar value system and thinking to what I have. If not I'll just kill off my sexuality completely and stay alone. I know I could suppress it completely but I'm still giving it a chance.
     
  17. OGS

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    I've never tried any of the apps nor been to a porn theater and I guess I don't even quite understand what "bathrooms" is doing on the list, but as for bars I met my partner of 16 years and a lot of really wonderful friends in bars--I guess to each his own.
     
  18. Shaded

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    I have to agree on the apps, mostly it's just guys looking for a quick bang. As for the bars, have you tried a few? There are different varieties of gay bars.
    Also, apps bars and bathrooms aren't your only options. I can only speak for where I live but There are LGBT groups for a lot of different things.
     
  19. Julieno

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    I think the most important thing is to get a solid base of friends, you don't need to think about them as potential partners (though who knows....) just friends. You can meet loads of people in LGBT* centers LGBT* interest groups etc.

    I usually go to bars just to hang out with my friends and have fun, if something else comes up then that a bonus. If not, I will just have fun anyway.

    And apps... I also use one. I make very clear that i don't want "no strings attached sex" and block people who offer me sex. I also have an small description of my interest just to show that I am person with a normal life and give people the chance to talk to me about different topic.. Just have your preferences clear and have in mind how things are. Most of the people there are superficial and just looking for sex, but that not a big deal, you can just ignore them or reject them politely if you are feeling classier.
     
  20. Rosepetal

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    Honey if u were straight I'd totally go for you :slight_smile: or if I was a gay male I'd totally go out with u :slight_smile: we need more men who are like u whether u are a gay or straight or bi sexual male :kiss: