Hi, as some of you know, I teach young teens, 13-14 year olds. This year I had several out queer students. I do my best to support and reassure them. I want all of my students to grow up happy and healthy. In your opinion, what can I as a lesbian teacher do to support my queer students?
If it doesn't violate school policy, tell your students that you're a lesbian. If not to the entire class, try telling the ones you think are struggling with their sexuality. If a teacher of mine did this to me in high school, it would have totally helped me accept myself. I was closeted to myself (in denial) until April of this year!
I live and teach in Massachusetts, so I am completely protected as far as coming out at school. I am generally out with no problems. I helped get our middle school GSA off of the ground this year and spent many lunch periods hanging out with my queer and allied students. I just want to know what else I can do! Providing support to my queer students to make sure they are happy and healthy is a priority of mine. At the same time, I don't want to come across as an intrusive adult:
It sounds like you're approachable and caring, that's all young people need. If they know that they can easily go to you for support or an open ear to talk to about their problems, I can't imagine anything better than having that in high school.
I agree with confuseduser99. If I had you, I would probably want you to respect our privacy. That means no worried looks sent our way and no concerned remarks. That sounds a bit harsh, but many teens I know have told me that they dislike it when an adult asks them about their well-being. Their reasons can range from "I'm just naturally quiet - I'm actually really happy!" to "It sounds like they're trying to get into my business..." Also, when you ask, "Are you okay?" about 95% of the time, people will say yes when they aren't. So that won't really work that well, I don't think. I think the best way to do this is say that you're there for them. Teenagers can be stubborn little shits (I'm a stubborn little shit), so they might not go up to you even if you say you're open... I had a teacher, actually, who was amazing. I felt like I could tell her anything on the first day. How? Because she wasn't just a teacher. It was like she was a friend. So here's my advice/tl;dr. When you're introducing yourself, don't introduce yourself as a new teacher. Introduce yourself as a new friend. And also, thanks a lot. We need more teachers like you, who care for their students' emotional state as well as their education.
Thanks for the advice. I always use preferred pronouns. Also, I'll check in with students but not push them if they're not forthcoming. I guess that's the hard balance for me. Being available without being nagging and in your face. My school year just ended, I gave one of my lesbian students my contact info to stay in touch. I care deeply about her and want to continue to support her as she moves on to high school.
Just reminding them that your door is always open and they can come to you if they need to talk. Also maybe tell a story or two about your personal experiences so they have positive examples.
I have safe space stickers and posters in my room to let them know they can feel comfortable. I refer to my wife and son in conversation. I just want ALL of my students to feel normal and accepted. My extremely closeted and silent teenage years took a bad toll on me. Fortunately, I was in a safe space in college and came out my freshman year. Howver, my teenage silence took a toll. I just want to help my students skip the closet !
Just got out and tell your students who you are and if they have a problem so what. Go out and show them who you are and that will give strength to those students who do not feel that they have the strength to come out.
My economics teacher, who I'm sure is straight, took many chances to explain to everyone why LGBT should be accepted and given equal rights. He sometimes pushed it, but whenever someone made a snarky comment like "oh, he flirts with boys, lol", he would call them out and go through a small speech about LGBT tolerance. This one time, a kid said "he probably flirts with boys" and my teacher called him out saying "that would not be a bad thing" blah blah blah. It actually was very nice hearing that, because 2 periods ago these kids who bullied me a LOT for being gay were kinda giggling at me and called my name, and started giggling some more. I was very "fabulous" looking at day, and even though I tried not to care, they sorta got to me. Hearing my teacher make that speech in front of the class was all I needed to forget those kids and move on with my day. Don't push it by talking about it all the time, but please show kids your support if you see someone being mean to LGBT people. My economics teacher always included sexual orientation when he talked about discrimination. He even made it known that we had co-ed projects and because there's more boys, there will be some male partners working together, and it's okay if two boys are married (because we were doing this married/partner project to see how people live with taxes and daily costs while working)
Oh, Skaros, I agree about being supportive but not pushing it. Last week, we had our 8th grade promotion ceremony. Students had to walk in pairs into the gym(about a foot apart). One boy complained that his partner was another boy. He said it was fruity and like a fag. I told him that he needed to stop being homophobic. He wouldn't let it go. I then told him that it offended me personally because I'm gay. I felt like I had to stick up to this, especially since I knew a couple of students in my homeroom are queer. I just want my students to know that I have their backs!
It sounds like you are doing the best a human can. I only wish I had a teacher like you (I would trade some of my teachers for you any day). Just know that you are an inspiration for not just your class but for the rest of EC!
I think in general they will just want to be treated like anyone else, but you should pay extra attention to wether they are getting bullied.
