Anyway... So I've been seeing a gender therapist. Not lot of stuff out here, he's trans, and prices were reasonable once I negotiated. I didn't really think anything was off when I first started seeing him. Had me fill out an intake form, talked about why I needed to see him, etc. He's working for his credentials but in my town, he's basically the therapist all the trans people are starting to go to. If I were so inclined, I could've gone to an informed consent clinic. But I figured- oh, I better work through some of my issues and have better coping strategies so i can make my transition easier. Transition's stressful enough. I don't need my other issues to go unaddressed on top of it (and god knows I have issues). Before him, I was already seeing a counselor at my school. And I found her loads of help. Worked through a lot of my anxiety issues, had someone to vent to, but she wasn't a psychologist and when it came time for me to get hormones, obviously there wasn't much she could do. But my gender therapist...Lord. It feels like we never really talk about my issues. What he wants to talk about, half the time it seems, is about my DAY or school. I guess, sure, what my life's like is important to my treatment and if I have issues, it's a good way to get a sense of them. But I told him- my dad died back in November. I'm having mother issues. I need help with that. We never really brought up my dad once (that was swept under rug). My mom, he just basically said "oh don't talk to her" didn't really wanna go I to why I might feel the way I do or how I can maybe improve that relationship. Because I honestly do want to. But we never talked once about grief or family dynamics. I told him "I might have aspergers but I doubt it". He laughed that off. And claimed autism is probably caused by food additives (consumed by expectant mothers). What the hell? But I didn't stop seeing him then. Then. I ran into Catfish Eddie. The following session he let me rant for a while. But then... He suggested instead of hook-up apps I try out a gay bathhouse if I wanted anonymous sex. And I told him I was afraid of having sex again. He told me- this is great- that to help get over that, I should consider having sex with the guy I lost my virginity to since I "had a good time". It wasn't "why" or "here's how you can cope" or "I know, that's typical, it's gonna be hard but there's ways to cope" And then he wanted to stick me with a PTSD diagnosis when I told him about how triggered certain things made me (positions I lay down in, that hotel, the intersection, memories, etc). I'm pretty sure a week is too soon to stick someone with a PTSD label. And then he advised me never to tell my mother until after she moved... And as it turns out, my mother ended up supporting me when she found out about what happened. The week after that, he didn't bring up the assault AT ALL. Didn't ask me how I was doing. It was like it never happened! Went on about trying to get me to find an exercise routine when I went on T. I told him about my possible relationship with Nick at one point. I was gonna ask him why I hadn't felt triggered since but we ran out of time. I'm considering dropping him while he's hot. How much of a dumbass is he? I feel like I've had better support from EC and friends than I do from him!
If it were me, I'd be done considering punting that corrosive sack of crap into orbit. I've never been to therapy, but isn't it supposed to help you with problems rather than make them worse?
If you don't have a good relationship with him and he's not helping you thorough your issues, then I suggest you start looking for a new healthcare provider. One question, what is an informed consent clinic? I'm not familiar with them.
Informed consent's basically where you can sign up for hormones and as long as you sign a waiver saying you're aware of the possible risks, they'd let me take T without a therapy requirement like a lot of endocrinologists ask of trans patients. But yeah... I'm already hunting for a new therapist. I'm hoping to find someone I can take my mother in for a few sessions so we can finally address the relationship.
I don't have a gender therapist, but I've had tons of terrible psychiatrists. I've been turned down by over a dozen doctors, due to me being a complicated case. Apparently they can't handle someone with Aspberger's acute anxiety and Schizoaffective disorder, they just want someone to come in with ADD or Depression so they can prescribe ritalin and prozac and collect their check. That never stopped them from charging hundreds of dollars for intake. If they reccomended a doctor at all, it was usually someone who already turned me down. And then I finally did get a doctor. She told me my father never abused me and took his side on everything. Then I had another doctor who spoke entirely in idioms "Well, it looks like you've painted yourself in to a corner and now you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.". I mean what the hell is he trying to say? Then I had a doctor who refused to prescribe anything to me and just strung me a long. Later when I was in the hospital for a severe psychotic episode and suicide attempt that she might have been able to stop if she had helped me, one of the doctors their said that she wrote down that she thought I was making my disorder up, and my symptoms where not as bad as I said. I'm not sure how she could think that, she saw me have a psycho-somatic reaction in her office. Then finally I got a good doctor. She found the right medicine for me, and now I am almost 100% rehabilitated. The bad thing is she can't take care of me any more now that I'm 18.
I, too, have had my fair share of bad doctors. When I was 15 the doctor I saw insisted on having my mom come in with me every time despite my saying we were having problems, and then he'd somehow coax me into saying why I had so much resentment toward her without offering us any advice, and it destroyed our relationship. If I'm going to therapy, shouldn't I be speaking and confiding to him alone? After 3 months, I moved out and didn't speak to or see my mother for 5 years. I've been diagnosed with cyclothymia, which is similar to bipolar II disorder. I didn't find a good doctor until I was 22, and after about a year of trying different medication combinations my symptoms are finally about 90% under control, which is psychologically the healthiest I've been since I can remember. When it comes to therapy, the success of your treatment hinges on whether you can form an amicable, respectful, trusting relationship with your therapist. If you don't connect, then he or she will help very little if at all. My advice is to shop. Call a few offices and ask to schedule a consultation. Think of it like you're auditioning your next therapist. You will probably be able to tell very quickly whether you will be able to form a connection, which I find to be essential. If you feel like something is off either with them or the rapport, chances are that you're won't have a good therapist-patient relationship. I'm definitely pro-therapy though so I admire your efforts. Good luck!
Absolutely stop seeing this psycho. Report him to whatever relevant authoritative body needs to hear it, because this guy is absolutely insane and will do damage to others.
Perhaps you should really think about reporting him. I have seen two therapists (one appointment with each of them) and I don't intend to try ever again.
I'm so mad!!!! I would never normally say this sort of thing but Drop Him Like A Hot Brick. Dumbass is too polite. He knows nothing, and will harm more than help. Apart from anything else, what he said about Aspergers is absolute rubbish….complete and utter bunkum….degrading….uninformed . . .Honestly, right now I would like to do something very bad to his person. Run away Doc. Really, if he is so very wrong on this basic stuff he's wrong everywhere. I'm worried for you. I wish I could talk to you if you think you might be Aspy. Its a field I know a GREAT deal about (*hug*)
I've noticed some therapists pretend to have all the answers. I leave that crap for the MD's...and even they don't have all the answers. Psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, social workers are good professions and good people...unfortunately much like any other occupation we have our share of crappy ones The one thing you should always be wary about with a therapist is judgment. No therapist should ever judge In fact they should mostly not offer opinions on what you do with your life. I always pictured my position as one of a professional who asks questions and helps you lead yourself to your own truth then I have succeeded
I think you should terminate the relationship with him. He seems very inexperienced. My ex-therapist and I got along very well in the beginning. While she managed to help me with a lot of stuff, it didn't take very long for the relationship to get completely dysfunctional. She was/is a very a confusing person… I'm sure that she probably meant well but, towards the end, she got really bitchy and strange… Anyway, in session, we only brought up the possibility of me being trans once. The first to last email I sent to her (I was trying to explain to her some of my reasons for ending the relationship), I told her that I wasn't a cis person. She wished me well and it ended on that note with her saying that at that juncture we would no longer see each other… The way she wrote it, gave me the impression that I could still see her if I needed to... Not that long ago, I asked if I could see her about me being trans before I left for college. I got an email that ended itself on an very unpleasant and threatening tone. She blamed me for some things, which were beyond my control as well as, against my beliefs. Tried to redeem herself in telling me that it had nothing to do with me being trans and then basically told me to never contact her again… O_O If you are going thinking about ended things with this guy, definitely do so before the relationship turns sour on his end!
I think you should terminate the relationship with him. He seems very inexperienced. My ex-therapist and I got along very well in the beginning. While she managed to help me with a lot of stuff, it didn't take very long for the relationship to get completely dysfunctional. She was/is a very a confusing person… I'm sure that she probably meant well but, towards the end, she got really bitchy and strange… Anyway, in session, we only brought up the possibility of me being trans once. The first to last email I sent to her (I was trying to explain to her some of my reasons for ending the relationship), I told her that I wasn't a cis person. She wished me well and it ended on that note with her saying that at that juncture we would no longer see each other… The way she wrote it, gave me the impression that I could still see her if I needed to... Not that long ago, I asked if I could see her about me being trans before I left for college. I got an email that ended itself on an very unpleasant and threatening tone. She blamed me for some things, which were beyond my control as well as, against my beliefs. Tried to redeem herself in telling me that it had nothing to do with me being trans and then basically told me to never contact her again… O_O If you are going to/thinking about ended things with this guy, definitely do so before the relationship turns sour on his end!
