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Guys, what's your worst fear about dating a man?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Randy, Jun 24, 2014.

  1. Randy

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    To combat Chloe's thread and so guys don't feel left out: What is your worst fear of dating a man? Also, 98% of us have fears about dating and the other 2% that don't, they're lying. I'm bored and you're bored so let's celebrate our bored-ness by sharing out fears.

    Frankly, mine would be that someone would find me too boring/plain and get tired of me or they would find that I am way too invested in myself at times.
     
  2. AlamoCity

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    Well, I have many fears, but one would be that he is really be a controlling guy who is abusive, either physically or psychologically.

    Another fear is that we would have awkward moments at a restaurant or someplace where there is silence because we both have nothing to say :lol:. This, of course, could be a sign that we have nothing in common and perhaps would be best if we parted ways.

    Also, that each others' parents would not get along or that my parents-in-law would not like me.

    Also, that I fall in love with a guy and then he gets a very good job offer (or is in the military and is posted overseas) and I have to decide whether to move to a place I really, really dislike culture-wise (e.g. Asia, NYC) and grin and bear it, or let him go.

    Finally, one of my biggest fears is breaking up with a guy. I've never dated in my 24 years so I have yet to experience that heartache that many experienced early on in middle or high school or college and so I feel that it may hit me like a ton of bricks because of my lack of experiencing that.
     
  3. QueerTransEnby

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    Many fears..... I have a big fear about catching HIV even with a condom. I'm worried because it has been 12 years since I've done anything sexual and that it won't be like riding a bike. lol. I have always been extremely self-conscious of my body and its flaws. I fear that once they find out I've had health issues and no job, they will run from the door. I think they will be afraid that me as a bi male am afraid of commitment(which to some degree I am being I have never had a steady bf or gf). I am afraid they will judge me for being a Christian.
     
  4. Silas

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    Biggest fear is that the guy will get turned off by my lack of experience and general social awkwardness :confused: I'm heavily introverted so if he's an extrovert and someone who likes to go out and do stuff I think he'll get bored of me very quickly :lol: A fun day for me is just chillin at home watching Netflix so basically anything beyond that where I have to come out of my comfort zone is something I get a little nervous about :/
     
  5. FancyGummy

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    Biggest fear is that I end up with a guy who's only in it for sex. I've seen a whole lotta stuff on this site that seems to indicate that it's the case way too often.
     
  6. Gregarity

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    I'm greatly afraid that the best guy l'll be able to find is insensitive, immature, sexist/racist/etc, or just won't listen to me, as well as being put off or teasing me for my body. Also, putting off someone because I don't like anal and I'm really iffy about most kinks.
    I really just want a kind, intelligent, perceptive, supportive guy to vent to if I'm upset, do dumb things that make us happy together, and spoon with, but these qualities are so rare in my age group that it'll be a while before I find someone.
     
  7. looking for me

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    Rejection because im not good looking enough,

    or that im to quiet, shy-till you get to know me :roflmao: then look out.

    same with women i must say.

    dating after all these years on the shelf, not that i was a Casanova to begin with, is heart stoping scary.
     
  8. ChloeKiss

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    Oh should I apologise for my thread? I just don't relate to gay guys! It was nothing personal :slight_smile: I kind of feel bad now.. Sorry!

    I guess I can add in that gay guys seem to get more aggressive homophobia from other males so maybe that's a fear some of you guys have? I read awhile ago some guy told his ''best friends'' he was gay and immediately after they beat him to death. I thought it was horrible :eek: Anyway.. I have no idea what I would fear if I was dating a man because clearly it wont happen :lol: but that was my 1 guess.
     
    #8 ChloeKiss, Jun 24, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2014
  9. Z3ni

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    The usual anxieties of dating

    I've never kissed so.. I'd probably maul their face..
     
  10. awesomeness

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    One of my biggest fears is that he'll cheat, or even worse, get feelings for another guy.

    I think that's my only fear when it comes to dating actually.
     
  11. DangerAlex

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    I've dated one man. We're still together now, but we've definitely had ups and downs. Some of the things I've been afraid of or that have scared me...

    I've had a less-than-perfect life. My past is colorful to put it lightly. Although I've always been true to myself, I've also been many different people as I've grown and evolved over my life. Who I am today is NOTHING like who I was even five years ago. So I'maalways terrified he'll (somehow) see one of my previous incarnations and reject me for it. Which, in a sense, happened a while ago, although we moved past it finally. I don't really do affirmations, but my mantra is: I'm not my past, I'm not the mistakes I've made. It helps rreminds me that I'm not a bad person because I might have done bad things in the past.

    I also am paranoid about fighting with him. When we disagree on something, contrary to a long-term personality trait where I'm highly confrontational at times, I'm very quick to smooth things over. I HATE the thought of him being mad at me or thinking about me differently. And I think back to the couple times when he was so mad at me that when I reached for his hand or tried to hug him, he pushed me away. And it was like the wind was knocked out of me.

    This probably makes me sound codependent, which might even be true to an extent. I don't want to make it sound like my boyfriend and I fight a lot; actually, we've only argued maybe a handful of times and they never last long because, like I said, I'm quick to try to smooth things over and at least with him I let things go very quickly. We just come from VERY different backgrounds, so sometimes he can't relate to me when it comes to my experiences and what I've been through. Otherwise, we get along insanely well for being so different and really complement each other.

    There are a couple other little things, but these are the ones I really think about a lot. Even though he may not always understand me, there's not a doubt in my mind that he loves me with anything less than his entire heart though, and I love him just as much or more.
     
    #11 DangerAlex, Jun 24, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2014
  12. PrinceOfAvalon

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    I'm afraid of meeting a guy, only for him to realize how incredibly socially introverted I can be and how awkward I am. I don't like to go partying, I'm against drinking alcohol and smoking anything/doing any kind of drug. I'm not a dancer 99% of the time. I like to do research and formulate opinions on controversial topics and be aware of my surroundings.

    I can hold a conversation, i think I'm likable, personality wise. I could go on a date and carry conversation fine w.o being overly awkward. I'm not very physically attractive though.

    People always tell me college is "full of gay dating opportunities" but I don't think ill be apart of them.
     
  13. Yossarian

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    That my wife would be upset. :icon_redf
     
  14. Wuggums47

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    That he might be a sociopath. I don't let it get to me though.
     
  15. Randy

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    Haha you're good. Just wanted to explain the premise for this thread, I know it was nothing personal :slight_smile:
     
  16. DangerAlex

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    My best friend from age like 17 to 22 was a sociopath, and I was in denial. I defended him and turned the other way instead of acknowledging the signs. He ended up robbing a fucking bank with a shotgun in hand and just got out of jail... after only a three year sentence. Planning to write a blog here about that whole trainwreck. It was entirely platonic, but still fucked me up.
     
  17. kyrtap

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    I have many fears about my appearance, but my biggest fear would be falling in love and being cheated on or just that he wouldn't feel the same and leave me.
     
  18. SimpleMan

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    My biggest fear is when it comes to being intimate/having sex. I'm afraid he will see only how I am physically not really anywhere close to society's ideal and reject me. I currently have a hard time imagining a man wanting to be intimate and have sex with me. I am working on loving myself and recognizing that my worth as a person and in a relationship is not defined by my physical attributes. I'm not going to pursue a relationship until I have that negative thought process under control.
     
  19. Hexagon

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    Everything, really.
     
  20. adrianislander

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    my deepest fear is not about the whole dating scenario (possibly because i've never dated a guy! hit me up if you want to help change that!) but more rooted in that i had always had that image of being in love with a woman and growing old and having children with her. now that that's out of the question, i'm not sure i can really see a future like that with a guy. here's hoping that i'm wrong!