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Complications of being a LGBT member in a rural area

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by cxnfused, Jun 25, 2014.

  1. cxnfused

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    Hey there, I've recently signed up to this site and I'm in search of people who not only share my mind set but also people who will contribute in the broadening of it.
    I'm from Ireland and I live in one of those stereotypical rural parts that you see in all the movies. I have everything - the cows, the sheep, the traffic jams caused by tractors, the ginger freckly people, the grass growing in the middle of lane ways, the acre upon acre of grassland and hills and the community where everyone knows everyone else's business. I have it all, except the leprechauns.
    I guess what I'm trying to say is that when you live in a place like this, it's kind of hard to be yourself. People where I live expect you to grow up, marry a wealthy farmer with lots of land, pop out a couple of children and spend the rest of your days at the kitchen sink. Unlike city life, we don't have the support groups or the clubs in school and all the things that are established around the world today to support LGBT youth.
    In my 17 years of existence I have learned quite a lot about myself. The most important thing I've learned is that my views, beliefs and desires do not belong in the place I have grown up. As a result, I am drowning in a pit of guilt, shame and self hatred.

    If you've clicked into this forum post I assume it's because you might have a similar situation to mine. I ask you to share your fears and complications as we all join together to try make each other more comfortable about ourselves and the world around us. Also, if you're currently on the flip side of this hassle and have overcome all those fears and complications you once had, I ask you to share how you got to the stage you're at.
    I really need all the help I can get.

    Thanks x
     
  2. Dryad

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    I live in a semi-rural area too. It technically is a city, but a very small one, and people gossip all the time. Wherever I go, there are relatives, friends, acquaintances, teachers, old bigots... :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: I have met some LGBT people here, such as my ex-girlfriend, but there are no organized groups. I liked it very much when I traveled to Athens to participate in the pride parade. :slight_smile: It's difficult to be openly gay or bi here. There is lot of mean gossip around me in the university, too. I don't care about it, but I'd like to be able to meet like-minded gay or straight people. Also I'd like to be able to be myself without getting the weird looks.
     
  3. cxnfused

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    Thank you, I really appreciate your reply! I understand where you're coming from so much. Unfortunately I haven't had the chance to participate in a pride parade due to my age and lack of freedom and the fact everything is so far away, but I know I will one day and I am honestly living for that day. I know a time will come where I'll live somewhere I feel comfortable, but for now I'm kind of stuck here. I'm just glad I have this website to communicate my thoughts with people who think and feel the same :slight_smile:
     
  4. Hatsune Miku

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    I live in semi-rural area, it's nowhere close to being a city (nearest actual city is like 30 miles away) but then again it's not what you'd call all out farmland, it does suck living here since basically everyone around here is a bigot but there's basically nothing I can about it other than use Jack Sparrow's strategy of "close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream"

    which generally puts me into depressed moods
     
  5. Acm

    Acm Guest

    I live in a sort of rural area too. I guess it's technically a suburb, but it's tiny and there's not a lot of people. There's really nothing for LGBT people here either (There's one support group but it's private and not advertised anywhere so there's really no way of getting in)
     
  6. Techno Kid

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    I live in a pretty rural area too... I know how you feel. :/
     
  7. Simple Thoughts

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    I live in a fairly rural area. Not nearly as rural as what your describing though tractors and the amish do like to block the roads from time to time. There are only a few handful of people doing the whole 'farm' thing around here, but there are some. It's a small little area and pretty much everyone knows everyone so you can't get away with too much.

    I have some strong mixed feelings about living around here.

    I like that there aren't too many people around because I don't do well in big groups so for me a smaller area is pleasant, however, at the same time it's impossible to find anyone really around here because there just aren't that many people and most of the options are rural folk which I share nothing in common with. =/

    I wish there were more things to do around here too. There is almost never anything going on at all. It's usually pretty dead and going to the store is the most exciting thing you can do ( besides getting wasted at the bar). No clubs, no hang out spots, no activities...and they wonder why our area has such high drug abuse.
     
  8. Dryad

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    Welcome (*hug*) What do you mean by "I understand where you're coming from so much"? Yeah, everything gets better... And yes, this site is great. :icon_bigg
     
  9. Dented

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    It's kind of mixed with me. By that, I mean that the village where I actually live (and the nearest town to it) is pretty bigoted and full of family, old friends, and old family friends who wouldn't be particularly accepting at all.

    However, the next-nearest town (that's actually pretty big to be fair), where most of my friends live is more accepting and there's people I can actually be myself around.

    Although both places have 'nothing really to do' as a common factor. Well, there is a gay bar/club/thing in the fairly-large-next-nearest town,, but a) I can't legally go to that until Monday, and b) everything I've heard about it makes me want to never go in there. And yeah, there isn't any 'support group' kinda things either.

    Sorry for the rambling-ness of all this by the way...
     
  10. Aspen

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    I'm in the U.S. but I know so much what you mean. I've lived in a small town my entire life. There are only two options for work unless you're able to commute to the city: farmer and factory worker. Highly conservative. Highly Christian. Racist. Sexist. Homophobic. Most everyone that was in my high school class has either married and settled down here, or gotten out.

    It is really hard to deal with, when you don't want to be a part of it. Especially if you don't have the means available to get out right away.
     
  11. Tai

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    I'm sorry you live in an unaccepting area. I live in a small town fishing port on the west coast of America and I'm surrounded by redneck fishermen. It's getting better but there's still bigots around.
     
  12. sunny81

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    I live in a small country town, too. There are bigger towns nearby if I want to get away for the day, but in my everyday life, I'm surrounded by narrow-minded people.