1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

What is truly being fully out as lesbian , gay , bisexual and pansexual

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by stocking, Jun 25, 2014.

  1. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Is it when your out to your whole family ?
    or just to your friends or is it everyone in your town .
    Anyone have any idea ?:confused:
     
  2. Foxface

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2013
    Messages:
    1,716
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Urbana, IL
    I think it's personal to the person

    I am out to some family, all friends and publicly...I consider myself fully out

    other family doesn't need to know. It would not benefit any of us
     
  3. QueerTransEnby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2014
    Messages:
    3,708
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Michigan, USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'd say it is friends and MOST family. I can't fault somebody for not being out to someone who is homophobic. In fact, there is one person in my extended family I may never be out to until I get close to possibly marrying a guy. That would be my one aunt. She disowned my cousin when she came out as a lesbian. Why in the world does someone like that need to know unless absolutely necessary? Your mileage may vary...
     
  4. Nightdream

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2014
    Messages:
    401
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Not being afraid to tell your family, friends and strangers, I guess? I'd consider myself fully out if I did this.
     
  5. YuriBunny

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2014
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    I'm an introvert; I live in my head.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I would consider it everyone close to you knowing (friends and immediate family). And you not being afraid to tell other people if it pops up in conversation.

    I consider myself fully out, depsite distant relatives not knowing. Considering I don't see them very often, I don't feel any need to come out to them yet. If I had a girlfriend though, I would come out to them right away.
     
  6. I would consider myself full out sexuality-wise. Most people know about me shortly after they've met me, not because I feel any kind of burning urge to come out to everyone I see, but because I act and live out. I talk about my partner just like anyone else would. I hold hands with her in public. We hug and kiss and say I love you without any qualms on the matter. I am up on the news about LGBT things. Most of my friends are queer.

    I don't even know how to find the closet, much less get back in at this point.
    It would be hard to hide. I would have to censor myself to the extreme in order to keep it hidden and since I don't feel the need to hide, I don't even think about it.

    That's what I call living out or being out, rather than coming out. Coming out, to me, is conscious, being out or living out is just being alive and unabashedly queer and doesn't require any conscious thought or action.
     
  7. mangotree

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2014
    Messages:
    1,322
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Queensland, Australia
    For me;
    It's being comfortable and relaxed with coming out to anyone who asks.
    And being able to talk absolutely openly and honestly about my personal life without caring what others think.

    (*hug*) Peace!
     
  8. QueerTransEnby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2014
    Messages:
    3,708
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Michigan, USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    In general, I just don't like it when people try to pry for information about relationships. Unless it is your children, it just isn't your business. If someone like my single aunt is dating a guy and not serious, why do I need to know that? Why does she need to know about my personal life? When people are comfortable, they will let you know.
     
  9. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I agree with you Honestly hate this my family is always asking me if I have a boyfriend , now I'm a very private person and I don't tell anyone who I'm dating or if i'm dating anyone , hell I could be having sex with a girl in the middle of the night at her house and not tell anyone even if I was out because I think it's my business and not anyone else unless i share it with them . I have dated men in the past and my family had no idea , they thought I was just some loser or couldn't get a guy but when I was 14 my mom found out I was dating a boy and flipped she did at the time want me anywhere around the opposite sex , if I talked to a guy she would yell at me and say something like
    "Your ass is in the street trying to get pregnant get your ass in the house right now and stop being a whore "
    I'm pretty sure when my mom finds out I'm a lesbian she's gonna say man I should have let her talk to those guys . I know it wouldn't have made a difference because I only saw those guys as friends , she also hated that about one of her students she use to give sewing lessons too who I had a crush on and yeah she was straight and would talk and flirt with guys and my mom would get upset . the funny thing is my mom makes it easy for me to hide as a lesbian , because even to this day she doesn't want me having sex with guys and will try to tell me things to scare me about sex at age 26 , she's even told me that tampons make you sick that's how strict she is . She doesn't want anything sexual with me and guys to happen . But what i find funny is she will insult me by saying Go have sex with a man your P:***:y needs it you need to get screwed but if we end up talking about straight sex it's oh no don't have sex it's bad .
     
  10. QueerTransEnby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2014
    Messages:
    3,708
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Michigan, USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I don't even know what to say. :frowning2: (&&&) She sounds like a person at war with herself quite honestly. The way she talks it's like she's got one foot in the whorehouse and one in the church and can't make up her mind. I'm not trying to slander her, but that's what it sounds like.

    When I said children, I meant under 18. If you are living with parents after that, it isn't any of their business unless that person(significant other) is violent and/or bringing in drugs.
     
    #10 QueerTransEnby, Jun 25, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2014
  11. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Yeah my mom does sound like that but I could never put it into words one minute she's talking the bible the next minute she's telling you how you should enjoy riding a guy's dick i'm not even kidding she did that one time .

    I agree with under 18 , I'm not telling her anything til I leave that house and I'm sure I'm not coming back
     
  12. QueerTransEnby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2014
    Messages:
    3,708
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Michigan, USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Can't say I blame you for one minute....
     
  13. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I still wish I could be out and date and hold my girlfriend's hand but I'm scared if someone sees me and tells my mom
     
  14. QueerTransEnby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2014
    Messages:
    3,708
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Michigan, USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Yeah, I wouldn't especially if there has been any history of physical abuse. This is why I'm afraid of coming out to my dad. I lied to him one time when I was 13; he was so angry that he charged at me and pushed me into the wall in my room. He later said "I was so angry I couldn't see straight." Then people ask me, "Why are you so worried to come out to your father and that he will disown you?" Oh, he may be Mr. Smiles at church and family get togethers, but a different side comes out behind closed doors or away from people he knows that is downright scary at times. He's gotten into road rage before and will throw things at home. He broke my mom's $130 camcorder. That was really nice.
     
  15. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    He sounds like my mom everyone thinks she's so sweet and nice and that's far from the truth
     
  16. QueerTransEnby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2014
    Messages:
    3,708
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Michigan, USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It's like a switch that he turns on and off. He suffered a lot of abuse and abandonment as a child, so he does it to try to control the people he loves. It is really twisted, but I have figured it out. I am not excusing his abuse, but this is what happens when people don't get enough therapy.
     
  17. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I never shared this on the forum but my mom was abused too by her step dad in a very extreme and inhuman way and also to an extent by her mother she has never seek help and I wish she would . I think once I get out of the house I'll seek therapy
     
  18. QueerTransEnby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2014
    Messages:
    3,708
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Michigan, USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You should definitely seek therapy if you feel you need it, dear. I just started with my doctor's office, and it was short-term. Looking for long-term help through my LGBT resource center now. I have probably years of therapy ahead of me quite honestly for all I've gone through in my life. I feel like I was just opening up the last few weeks. Like now, I am ready to just outright spill everything. Tons of emotional abuse and not living up to his expectations or being manly enough. I am not an angry person, but this stuff can literally eat you alive emotionally if you don't release it somehow. You either damage others outwardly from the pain, damage your internal worth, or release it and share it. There really aren't any other options. I am not saying therapy is the cure all, but it allows the wound to heal more properly. (*hug*)
     
  19. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    your so right
     
  20. IsThisAName

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2014
    Messages:
    629
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Kentucky
    I'd consider it the majority of your family knowing, and being to the point where if the topic of romantic partners/sex comes up with almost any given person, you can comfortably say "I'm gay/pan/bi" etc etc.