The Issue with mental health

I don't really like the whole "it gets better" idea because just sitting around and waiting for things to get better doesn't really do anything. Also I have the same social anxiety problems that you have and it's really frustrating that nobody seems to take it seriously!

 

I'm with you on this one.

I can definitely see where you are coming from. Things don't change unless we make an effort to change them, and if you can stifle the negative thoughts in your mind you might be able to make a push in a positive direction.

I say that if no one was taking you seriously, and you're making it all work by pushing forward yourself than good for you

 

Spill my thoughts right out of my mouth. I argued it so many times. It caters to the potential college students who magically move to a bigger city and life got better. Well what about the poor kid or less intelligent kid who ends up stuck in a small town and eventually kills themselves. I struggle with depression in High School and afterwards and if your stuck in small town with a homophobic environment all a round but my town was 15,000 thousand people but really anti gay and had a lot of bullying and shit like that. Of course you can make it better but I can't name one kid who suffered some form of small town anxiety that was gay and from my area. I knew gay guys who killed themselves too and it is very bad still. I tried talking to the few gay people and most of them did have a attitude which was that sucks for you I got my own life. If gets better has it's advantages but it is not in reality with the struggles gay teens still face over America.

 

Depression is an awful thing to have and when you hit that bottom, it is very painful, only made worse when people aren't listening to you asking for help. Worse when health professionals aren't listening. Anxiety is not something that helps any.

While it is difficult to do, getting yourself around positive people who are understanding is the key even if you start with online groups.

 

Yeah it is great to have online friends but it gets to the point where you want to personally and physically be around people who do support you and love you as you are. it is still a feeling of emptiness when you don't have that every day in your life and it can lead to suicide.

 

Yes, the mental health system is crappy. It takes a lot of time to find a good therapist and get properly diagnosed.

I was a few years ago sure I had social anxiety and they thought I was just shy too. Now I am in the anxiety department of a hospital 5 mornings a week because my social anxiety got so bad, I barely couldn't do anything anymore because of fear.

With me it went like this:
First therapist: She was a good therapist but never wanted to diagnose me with anything or give me meds. I went there for half a year, then they transferred me because I didn't think that therapy was working enough.

The waiting time was 6 MONTHS!
I tried waiting while I didn't have a current therapist and then everything went horribly wrong and I ended up in a mental facility for a couple of hours.
The weeks afterwards I got a crisis-psychiatrist.
But because of the ''accident'' and the things that went horribly wrong, I got higher on the waiting list.

Then I got with my current therapist. First I got diagnosed with 4 mental illnesses (including the social anxiety). And we started working on 1 of my problems at a time. (for 2,5 hours a week) So when we were working at 1 thing, my anxiety got worse.
So I am currently working extremely hard for sth that could have been diagnosed and found earlier and might have not been that bad then.
2,5 hours for 1 of my problems, 5 mornings a week for my other problem, not even to talk about the other 2 problems we are currently not working on.

I started medication a few weeks ago and that is sth I also still have to figure out..

It will be a long way so please get the help you need, even if that means you will have to exaggerate (a lot). Because one day they might get really bad and to recover from that is a lot harder.

Good luck! <3

 

I have depression as well, but I mostly suffer from low motivation and energy. That makes a lot of people think I'm lazy. I also have social anxiety, but only around people my age. I kind of had some suicidal thoughts when I was twelve, but they were never that serious.

I'm suffering from OCD and it's a nightmare. I keep on questioning my sexuality no matter what. A lot of people think I'm questioning because of my age, but I think it's mostly OCD at this point.

Since I'm "questioning" my sexuality I still have to stay in the closet. When I did try to come out it didn't feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It just made me feel sick to the stomach. A lot of people just completely dismissed my sexuality and that made me have a huge panic attack. The panic attacks are getting better, but I can never predict how people will react so I have to stay closeted to avoid panic attacks.

Part of me wants to come out, but another part of doesn't see the point. Another part of me remembers how thin skinned I am, so I just stay closeted.

 

It is frustrating, shitty, expensive, and full of people who shouldnt be in the profession honestly. My experience is in th US but I'm confident it is the same abroad.

I know it is tempting to quit but you need to keep tryig to find a therapist you jive with that understands and takkes you seriously and is willing to work with you. It will fill like searching for a needle in a haystack at times but I promise it is worth the hunt once you actually find one. From there you can ask for a psychiatrist/doctor/UK equivalent to prescribe medications: this is the second worst, most frustrating part. Medications work differently on different people and it may take a lot of time to find one that works for you! I went through..... I think eleven? different anti-depressants and anti-anxieties before I found a combo of meds that cleared my brain up enough to make the therpy and life changes actually stick and there are still hard days but holy shit it's great feeling like a healthy neurologically normal person.


It feels like Sisyphus or whatever sometimes man, rolling that boulder up and watching it roll back down. It is tough. I am sorry you have to experience it. It takes a lot of energy. It is worth fighting for, though. It will take time. Good luck <3

 

I understand that. Online can be a good way to start but nothing beats in the flesh. When one has anxiety, this can be a difficult issue due to the anxiety's nature. I have tourettes which carries some anxiety so I can empathise.

 

I won't cross post from another forum but I just made a 6 page long thread on how much destruction the mental health system is in from my personal (as a patient myself) and professional (as a licensed therapist) perspective

point is the system needs a ton of help

 

"It Gets Better"... It does.. If you allow it.. If that makes any sense.

Also have you tried CBT Therapy?

 

Alright man.
I can relate to what you're saying big time. This sounds like the post that I would have written on here 12 - 18 months ago if I'd been a member of the forum. For a long time I struggled with social anxiety and other problems and got to a point around 18 months ago where I was extremely depressed and wanted nothing more than to kill myself. For me, the only reason that I didn't do it because I didn't want to do that to my family. In my situation my only option seemed to be to carry on being miserable for the rest of my life so that I wouldn't put my family through that pain.
But I did not see any possible way out of the situation that I was in, either, I felt that I was never going to get better to be able to cope with day to day life. I dropped out of school and became a recluse, too crippled with anxiety to even go outside to take out the bins.

You're right, the phrase "It gets better" is absolutely useless and not at all true, there is never a way to know for sure that something will get better. The correct, useful phrase to remember is that "It can get better", whatever situation you are in, IT CAN GET BETTER. That is by no mean saying that it will, but it can if you go about solving your problem correctly.

My case was similar to yours. Having suffered with my seriously deteriorating mental health for around 6 months I went to my GP, who surveyed me and put words into my mouth completing the survey. He told me I was not depressed and there was nothing wrong with me - he was absolutely wrong, when I started to see my degree holding therapist he told me that I had been severely depressed when I saw my GP. Regardless, my GP sent me to see a counsellor with ties to the NHS who was absolutely terrible. Every session that I left with her she made me feel even more like I could not get better, and things seemed absolutely and completely hopeless. I stopped seeing her and started seeing my new therapist who holds a degree in psychology or something along those lines, and I have been improving exponentially since then. In the last few days, for the first time in more than a year I have been out to social gatherings and gone to the gym with friends.
I can now see myself returning to school soon. Not long ago I thought that I could not possibly achieve this, and that I had no hope in life. I was wrong, and you are too to feel as such.

I would advise that you ask to speak to a potential counsellor/therapist for 20 mins or so before making the decision to have an appointment with them. Ask about their credentials, and steer away from those whose only experience in the field of mental health is the 2 week counselling course that you need to do. Try to find a therapist with a degree in psychology.

Remember - It won't necessarily get better, but it can.

 

The outgoing President of the Royal College of Psychiatrists described Mental Health services in England as a "car crash" (see news item from BBC):
BBC News - Mental health services 'a car crash'

For anyone, like me, who takes an interest in these matters it's very hard to disagree with Sue Bailey's assessment. There is a perfect storm brewing in some areas and vulnerable people and those in crisis are definitely suffering. More often than not, it's mental health charities that are stepping in to plug the gaps arising from this systemic failure.

Although the damning assessment was specifically in relation to England, I'm certain the situation in Wales is little better. Many people with poor mental health now feel abandoned and left to their own devices.

 

My own personal experience with the mental health field is, for the most part, negative or frustrating. I will admit, there do exist genuinely concerned people, but it's like finding a pebble in a raging ocean. Not only is it an ocean, but it's slapping you with waves, thus making it harder.

I've had a therapist tell me that my depression would cripple me, another told me to stop being so helpful because I'd only exhaust, then destroy myself. I've been diagnosed with one thing, then a few months later, I'm told I have something else instead. I've been provided medication -- all of which did nothing for me. I even had a psychiatrist tell me, that I must have a unique mind, because medication usually helps people. The exceptions to this, while nice, either transferred out/away (I don't blame them), or they're so booked (I can see why), they just can't take on any more patients.

Like others have said, you will have to do something about it. For me, it was suffering a total breakdown and brush with suicidal thoughts. This broke down the emotional walls that I had erected, allowing me, for the first time in ages, to look through and see a world of potential warmth and wonder. While therapy is nice, and support is peachy, it won't do much for you unless you apply, and utilize it. It's like a car, you can put the oil, gasoline, and work into it, but if you don't push the pedal, you just have a large paperweight.

All this said, I did obtain something from therapy. The more they told me one thing, the more I was forced to look inside myself. Eventually, I was determined to prove them wrong, and that I could tend to myself. Under normal circumstances, I would not suggest this to anyone, but I have to be honest. It was this drive to overcome that, honestly, not only taxes me, but makes me feel accomplished. My motivation is to get myself in better shape, so that I can be in better shape, to help others get to a better place. Each time I can smack the shit out of my creeping depression, each time I can backhand the hell out of my lurking anger, I feel myself becoming stronger, more in control of myself. Every time I make someone smile, laugh, or just feel better, I have justified all the self-work I've done.

Here's the thing. The system may be a mess, and you may not find a lot of decent workers in it, but exceptions do exist. They are there, but they are often time difficult in locating. If you decide to find them, by all means do so, but in the meantime, look at yourself and ask:

" What do I live for? Who means the world to me? What, that I have experienced, do I want to be there for another, so they will not have to experience that? "

Acknowledge your faults, conquer your demons, then save the world. Rinse and repeat, as much as necessary.

 

I've had therapy before. Mostly the therapists were just obstructions to my goal of becoming a man in body. A few times my parents took me to see therapists as a child and young teen to try and fix me. I was depressed, and dysphoric, though I never thought to mention this. One of them tried to diagnose me with aspergers. One idiot diagnosed me with anxiety, and gave me valium of all things. Eventually, I was put on Fluoxetine, which achieved the amazing goal of making me suffer from indigestion. Honestly, I forget all the details. But none of them helped me, that's for sure.

In the end, I rescued myself from depression. I addressed the issues in my life than needed addressing, and found my way out of the hellhole I was in. I didn't wake up some day and discover I was better. Change, for whatever purpose, rarely happens that way. It's frustratingly gradual. And I continued to get better long after I thought I was okay. I discovered my confidence a year ago. I realised I could be truly happy a few months after. And this may sound rather corny, but change really does come from within you. Sometimes, therapists can help you find what you need. And sometimes medication can give you the space to recover. But that will never happen without certain things from you.

I think what I found most difficult from my experiences with mental health services is that they're dehumanising. I don't mean to apply this to everyone, and there are, of course, exceptions, but for the most part, it seems that suffering from a mental health condition means you surrender your personhood, and everything is reduced to doctors telling you how broken you are.