I was talking to Davey today and somehow the conversation went to how I've grown up. And I got to thinking. ( I do that alot.) I remember how I used to play with barbies all the time. I remember laying on my bed, eating a bag of circus peanuts and reading a book all day. Not a care in the world. I loved it. Being nieve, not knowing that there are people in the world are bad. I kept thinking how i would love to go back to that. But at the same time, I wouldn't trade anything for my life now. Not even a better one. Sure things get tough, but I've learned to handle it. I'm heading to college in a week--the first really big, noticable change in my life. Its time to go from being this little, very dependant kid, to being an adult. I'll be living 3 hours away from my parents and for the first time, be totally independant. Those days of playing with barbies all day are long gone. I hadn't even realized it. Davey's only known me well for a year or so and has said in that year I've grown up on him. And it happens. Without even noticing. I'm out here, still having fun, but not as carefree as I was. I recognize everything I do has a consequence, good or bad. There is always and impact from some action I've done. Wow. I hadn't even noticed I grew up. And I kinda miss it. But I like this feeling of independance. Of self reliance. I'm ready to take on any obstical that comes my way.
Yeah i get what you mean, when i was little i didn't know there was a big world out there .. and now i notice things more since growing up. But Im not read to take on any obstacle like you are lol ^_^
Wow... that is really deep. I am growing up a lot, but I feel like a kid still in so many ways. I cannot wait for college. My parents are really overprotective and I feel suffocated sometimes by them. It is good though that you are going into college with such a positive attitude and with such strength. I am sure your transition into adulthood will go smoothly. I still cannot even imagine the possibility of not having my parents to rely on XD!
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. But you've got plenty of time before you have to even think about that.
I actually got more carefree and less cynical as I got older. Hopefully it continues that way so I can become a raaaaiiiinnnnbow. .....
Hehe. I didn't mean completely carefree. I just meant that have responsibilities now that I didn't when I was a little kid. Right now, I don't care what most people think of me. I Act how i want to act and be myself around everyone. I'm pretty Rainbow myself.
I has this like...enlightenment a few months ago too. I wanted to cry because I missed being so young and care free like you said just enjoying life knowing that I will always go home to my mom and dad and they will be their happy to see me and just make my life as humanly possible the greatest I could have. How my friends and I would just go running around playing not worrying about anyone or anything. And those days I would stay inside playing video games for like...12 hours straight and it only felt like 1 hahaa! But I agree with you I love my life now and I have grown so much and learned much more about myself than i knew before. SO cheers TO LIFE!(!)
