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I told my best friend everything.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Jason29, Jun 30, 2014.

  1. Jason29

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    So as the title says I decided to talk with my best friend he knew that my wife and I had split up but didn't know the real reason why. So after telling him everything about the break up and all the confusing issues, that’s when it started to go down hill.
    I explained that I haven’t been with another man and that at the moment I’m still trying to figure everything out for myself so this is not really a priority.
    He didn’t really say much however he made it very clear that he didn’t approve.

    I thought this would be the next step along this road and of all the people I thought he would support me. Not the case I wanted him to accept me and not judge I’ve known him for over 12 years and thought he would be there for me. Has anyone got any advice on how I can get him too understand.
     
  2. JStevens96

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    Well what did he do that made you feel he 100% doesn't understand? Has he called you since?
     
  3. Bolt35

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    he probably didn't have a good grasp of the situation that you're in. so i guess it makes it all the more harder for him to understand. you did find out one thing, and that was he didn't support you.
    i'd say try to explain it step by step. has he talked to you since then? i'd say give it a bit of time. i have a feeling he'll try to convince you to stay on the straight side, so i'd say that's your journey to make.
     
  4. Jason29

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    I havn't spoken to him since he has always been slightly homophobic not to the point where he is nasty but its one of those things he just doesn't understand. I tried to call him on Sunday but his girlfriend answered the phone and said he wasn't there. I dont know if im just being stupid or not.
     
  5. Nikky DoUrden

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    Have u tried texting him ?
    Ask him if what u told him makes him upset ?
    Maybe he dont understand ur the same person for him "gay" means horrible things..
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    I'm really sorry you got that reaction. It's a sometimes sad reality that the people we hope will accept and understand don't and the people we expect to be horrible and judgemental react very well. It can be quite perplexing.

    It could be that he needs time to process what you told him. He has known you for 12 years and to all intents and purposes you have been straight and married. It's a lot to take in that you are questioning your sexuality and have only now told him. It's not like you are questioning a decision to buy a motorbike instead of a car. Maybe give him a bit of time.

    If you don't get to talk to him in person (after the dust settles) you could send him an e-mail or letter to try to outline everything more clearly, state that you have otherwise not changed and explain why you told him and what you were hoping for from him. In the heat of a conversation things get lost and points get missed. Sometimes the written word has more power and influence. What do you think?

    It might just need a bit of time though.
     
  7. ok455

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    Well this is shocking to him and its going to take a while before it settles in. Since hes slightly Homophobic its slim to nothing that he will continue being your friend. Let it sink don't call or text him wait for a while and if he doesn't respond then count it as a lost and move on don't run after someone who doesn't accept you
     
  8. Data

    Data Guest

    Sounds to me like you need a new best friend. Best friends don't judge one another, and certainly don't jeopardize their friendship over something like sexuality. He sounds like a dick to be honest. My advice: move on.

    Friends are those who are with us and help us in dark times as well as happy times. When you NEED your friends, you figure out who is real and who is trash.