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Are gay guys really that "different"

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by confuseduser99, Jul 6, 2014.

?

Do you think gay guys are "different"

  1. Yes

    9 vote(s)
    17.6%
  2. No

    29 vote(s)
    56.9%
  3. Kind of (explain below)

    12 vote(s)
    23.5%
  4. Other (explain below)

    1 vote(s)
    2.0%
  1. confuseduser99

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    Are gay guys really that "different" from "normal" straight guys? Do they stick out? For me personally, my family (especially my extended family) has always teased me for being "different". Not as manly, and for being "sissy". I think most of them knew that I was gay even before I admitted it to myself. To this day, they tease me behind my back for being "gay". Even in high school, people thought that I was gay. A couple asked me. Many others I think just thought it without saying anything, or would hint at me that they thought that I was gay.

    Nevertheless, in your opinion, are gay guys "different" from their straight counterparts?
     
  2. Hexagon

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    No. Straight men can be girly too.
     
  3. Nychthemeron

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    No.

    The only sure-tell difference is that gay men are gay, not straight.

    Personalities, hobbies, clothing choice, etc are completely separate from sexual orientation.
     
  4. Randy

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    This is a premise for a very interesting thread.

    Everyone is different. Some more than others, that is my belief and I will stand by it until pigs can fly :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    As for like gay guys being a whole different dimension of different, I don't believe that to be true. All people come in different shapes and sizes, all with defining characteristics that make them unique. As for me, I wasn't seen as all that different. Aside from my cerebral palsy and the effects it had on me, I wasn't seen as that different. I grew up having the same chances has anyone else in my community. Yeah, some ignorant people may have seen me as different but it was for the wrong reasons i.e., not getting to know me and making assumptions but that was due to their ignorance on the situation.

    TL;DR: We're probably seen as different on the exterior but we are all the same inside.
     
  5. Gabe92

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    I say kind of because everyone is different to begin with. Your personality is shaped by everything from genetics, upbringing, society, location where you were raised, travel, every experience basically. So I would say sexuality does play a equal role. But to what degree does it effect you? I can't really say because of the thousands of other factors. Someone who is gay is different than someone who is straight but a straight guy is equally different to another straight guy.

    End of shitty explanation.
     
  6. Acm

    Acm Guest

    I wouldn't say so. I've met several gay guys where I could tell right away but a lot of them seem just like straight guys so I think it varies from person to person.
     
  7. Higs

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    It depends on the person. Nobody I came out to when I was 20/21 have even suspected once of me being gay.
     
  8. ChameleonSoul

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    For the most part, being gay doesn't make a person different. There are so many factors that shape a person's development that sexual orientation, much like any other factor, does not make a gay person stand out in a group of straight people.
     
  9. wolf of fire

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    Gay people fall in love with the same gender, they also do different things in the bedroom. Soon that will be the only differences.
     
  10. mangotree

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    If all gay men "acted gay" and all straight men "acted straight"- romance, coming out, life in general would probably be much easier.
    We wouldn't have to wonder any more if our best friend, co-worker, brother, son, cousin etc was gay - we would just know because they act so differently to straight guys.
     
  11. QueerTransEnby

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    I'd say that there are certain mannerisms that gay/bi men have that straight guys may not have. It seems like we have more female friends. I notice that I talk with my hands more than straight guys do. Obviously, these are differences within the US. I realize that in France and Italy, almost all people gesture with their hands. We walk with slightly better posture than and straight guys, and it seems like we give better eye contact. I am not saying EVERYONE is like that, but a lot of it is true.
     
  12. confuseduser99

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    I tend to agree with all of these. I DEFINITELY talk more with my hands, and have other "gay" mannerisms, according to North American culture. I also have more female friends. Maybe these, plus the fact that I've never had a girlfriend = many people questioning my sexuality.
     
  13. Damien

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    Hi confuseduser,

    ah high school days...I can recall once, one of the 'gang' of alpha guys who all tended to hang out together, took me aside and quietly asked me, "You're not gay, are you? You like girls and all that, right?" The hushed voice and the sort of gravitas with which the question was framed, makes me laugh now, I mean, so what... But back then, to be 'accused' of being gay was pretty serious at my school, so I quickly replied, "Of course" (of course I liked girls, and was not gay). He then said, "Oh, good, cos we were a little worried". lol all sounds quite funny now.

    But that wasn't the last time someone would pick up on something about me that even I was not so aware of. My now ex, when she was first getting to know me, wondered a few times if I might actually be gay, due to a kind of softness and gentleness, a connectedness I feel with 'the feminine' (do I subtly project it also? I don't know) which, for me, is as integral a part of my inner world as the masculine is. I like both, and I always assumed that all guys had this connection with both realities in their inner world. But now I am beginning to wonder is this is really the case.

    Having said that, gentleness should not be regarded as something only a woman can have, nor should it be seen as 'unmanly'. I mean what is wrong with not being the stereotypical 'macho' type? Even for a straight guy, I see nothing wrong at all with being gentle in manner. It's a beautiful quality, imo, whether one is gay or straight.

    So to answer your question, well I'm not sure. But in my case, others have noticed something, but I still don't know exactly what it is, or how they picked up on what I am only now, so many years later, beginning to more fully accept myself - that I do experience same-sex attraction, and am therefore either bi, or gay. It seems that some other folks 'knew' about it before I did. :icon_bigg

    Damien :slight_smile:
     
    #13 Damien, Jul 6, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2014
  14. awesomeness

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    Gay guys fall all over the spectrum of masculinity. Some are very masculine, and therefore indistinguishable from the typical straight guy. While some are more feminine.

    You can't put all gay guys in the same category.
     
  15. Candace

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    Well people always assume that I'm straight and can never realize that I'm actually gay. They just think that I'm a generally nice person. So to answer your question, not really. There are many guys who I thought were gay at first, but then turned out that they were just really friendly people to begin with :grin:.
     
  16. joshy the queen

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    well kind of people used to make fun of me saying im so gay and i really didnt know why maybe because im such a sissy but hey i didnt know what was wrong about that and that has nothing to do with being gay i know some people who are like that and they are straight they even like football which is something most people like me dont
    anyway aside from being such a queen i think we gay guys have some different things from straight guys things that makes us special but those things are only to be found when you get to know us from the inside
     
  17. Techno Kid

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    ^ This! :thumbsup:
     
  18. Wuggums47

    Wuggums47 Guest

    Most of the quirkier guys I've known have been gay, but there are some exceptions. I'm not sure if we're any different, but we are more interesting.
     
  19. confuseduser99

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    I agree that we're usually "more interesting". Also, I think I may meet the definition of "quirky" myself... :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  20. Greeley

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    No, not really. I'm gay but everybody immediately assumes im straight when im out with friends and stuff. And then my straight friends get branded being gay before they sometimes seem like it. My boyfriend loves to play a game and ask people "Who do you think are the gay ones" and occasionally my boyfriend gets picked as the gay one, and then my 2 other mates nearly always do, and i'm always the "Omg really?" one.

    The most awkward thing is when girls come up and try to get with you.

    So no. Gays are not different. Some of us get portrayed the same as straight gets.