1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

The sickening obsession with the perfect body

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Foxface, Jul 6, 2014.

  1. Foxface

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2013
    Messages:
    1,716
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Urbana, IL
    Thanks media for once again proving that you care more about a starlets stomach than he talent.

    This will be part angry response and part question

    Today I was in my grocery store buying my items. I approached the counter and had a chance to glance at the magazine rack. I can't remember if it was People or US Weekly (though both have been guilty of this) but I saw a colorful cover portraying the "best and worst" Hollywood bodies. I noticed two things that raised my pulse on the spot

    First they had a woman in a bikini, who is apparently some celebrity, who has obviously gained a decent amount of weight. Over here face was a sticker that said "Guess who this is?"

    I DON'T CARE! Being overweight has no bearing on someone's attractiveness...and more importantly, being overweight has no bearing on somebody's value or worth. Yet here sit and get asked to judge this woman's worth by the fact that she is overweight.

    Then they had a picture of Katie Holmes. Again, the judgment begins right on the cover. She is sitting in a pretty pink bikini and sort of bending forward. When she does this, her stomach rolls a bit, you know...like ALL of ours will do if you sit in that position

    But then it's made more insulting when they write underneath Katie's picture 'Belly jelly.'

    I'm not kidding...that's what it said...This picture actually showed Katie's pretty damn flawless body. It isn't so much that the pointed out some media-driven flaw that bothers me the most (although it does bother me plenty).

    Instead what kills me is that Katie is essentially a flesh-surrounded woman that is only 'perfect' if she looks perfect. Never mind her movies, her prowess, her power whatever...it's her almost non-existent 'belly fat.' That's how we are asked to judge Katie. Screw IMDB credits! Let's see if she's fat! OH NO! Belly roll! Well to hell with Katie Holmes then...who's the next overly-thin temptress that can get us to watch a movie?

    Of course then there is the group of people who call Kate Upton and Jennifer Lawrence fat...but that's a whole other story there. Why the obsession? What the hell brought this out?

    Hell I am adult enough to admit I've fallen for it in my past...so let's get to my question

    Who is to blame?

    There is absolutely no doubt that media of all types portrays woman (and to an extent) men as items to be desired. If you doubt that...wow please go pick up a magazine or watch TMZ/E! or whatever

    Question 1: So who is to blame?

    Is it 100% on the shoulders of media moguls that sell us perfection and shame us when we aren't perfect?

    Is it 100% on the consumer who's pea brains (mine included) have allowed ourselves to be sold perfection?

    Is it a mix of the two? In this case who has more of the blame?

    My contention is it is definitely a mix. So instead of shaming everyone else, let's turn the tables on myself. I've been really overjoyed lately that a sense of maturity has hit me and I've taken a judgmental eye on myself...it;s liberating

    anyway...

    Let's look at my past. I would never have described myself as a womanizer, even before I cam out. But the fact remains that I would indeed chase perfection. I grew up in the 80's and early to mid 90's. There was no shortage of sex symbols in that time. Kathy Ireland (go look her up youngins...lol love you!), Cindy Crawford, Alicia Silverstone, Sarah Michelle Gellar, the list goes on and on...you get the point

    I freely come out and admit now that I often found my favorite shows involved some beautiful heroine such as Buffy or the like. I apologize immensely for thinking this way in the past. Yes I do still find men and women beautiful, but the objectification of my past is fortunately dissolving very fast...not perfect but have come a long way

    So the way I see it...it's both of our problems

    On one hand I see media selling Sarah Michelle Gellar to me. They say "Let's make Buffy sexy and that will sell BTVS." And...it...works! Just look around! Katniss Everdeen and even my beloved Foxface from Hunger Games...do you think they'd sell as much if they weren't such beauties? Make no mistake, media knows what the heck they are doing when they market a service...and sadly, they market sexy people and shame us for not being the ideal

    But here's the rub...I cannot blame them entirely. And this brings out two big problems for me

    1. I AM guilty. I buy into because...well...I BUY into it. I buy into Katniss and Buffy and Blaine and so forth. So I have to take up the realization that I share the blame at least a bit. Would I have devoured BTVS if Sarah didn't look like Sarah? It's sickening and I admit I become a bit ill thinking that I did that...

    but then comes the second point

    2. Am I just a biological process? Am I made to aim for perfection like Katniss or Blaine from Glee? If I admit that my being pansexual is part of my process, then is that same process causing me to only seek beauty? Well that there is the problem. At some point in my maturity, I have to find that answer for myself. And so far, my research into myself tells me I've been duped...but I am not a victim. I ALLOWED myself to be duped.

    Make no mistake, I am not coming out as a genius or trying to tell you that I hold myself to a standard higher than anyone else. Hell I am pretty average to be honest. I am just looking inward and seeing some things in my past that I am not pleased with

    The problem is I don't know how to change it. I think if I could change it I'd be a billionaire psychologist with fourteen honorary PhD's...but instead I sit and ask the question

    but then maybe asking these questions to myself is my method of changing myself

    well I hope this all made sense. I hope someone will answer. I'd adore a response at least to the questions

    thanks all
     
  2. Candace

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2013
    Messages:
    3,819
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southeastern U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    I think that there's a natural want to be accepted by everyone and most people think that we have to look pretty and be the best looking to get noticed and become a part of those social circles. Trust me, I've been underweight for as long as I can remember, skinny as a twig, and I have wondered sometimes how I could look like the guys on TV. I think it's our culture nowadays. I mean, look at shows like the Bachelor, any soap opera, etc. Do you see any "normal" looking people on there? No, of course not. Our programs nowadays still emanate that image of "if you like him/her, you'll be successful".

    I think that it's mostly their fault that they try to make us look like we're not good enough, appearance wise. However, we should try to have enough self-esteem and realize that we don't need people on TV from any mogul to tell us how we should act or look in order to gain acceptance within social circles. I mean, just ignore it. What I do is think that these people have makeup sessions before they do shoots. I mean, no one probably looks like that unless they put on a heap of makeup beforehand. It's just unnatural.

    In short, have self control and don't let a mogul and their programs tell you what you have to look like and act like :slight_smile:
     
  3. Argentwing

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2012
    Messages:
    6,696
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm going to have to soundly disagree there. Some people carry excess weight very well and are still quite attractive. But others, not so much. I do love skinny as long as the person's health is good.

    That's not to say I support tabloid-type gossip. What they do to people is abhorrent and they are trashy, shameful publications that are really only ever purchased as a mindless guilty pleasure. Who knows? Maybe they don't think those people with belly jelly are gross; they just want the readers to relate to them in their struggles with body image. But that sounds like rationalization, because in that case, wouldn't they still uphold how monumentally gorgeous those Hollywood-types are even when not dolled up and Photoshopped?

    I don't care for magazine cover people anyway. You take away the "imperfections" and their personality and appeal go with them. The most beautiful people are so because of some abnormality about them. Featureless, average "pretty" people are good for catching the eye, but for me, aren't the best.
     
  4. Browncoat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2011
    Messages:
    4,053
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Zefram Cochrane's hometown.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    More to the point, I think, is that attraction is entirely subjective. The overweight person you deem to be unattractive I tend to find attractive.


    That said, I think it would be silly to claim that media had nothing to do with peoples' generalized idea of what a "good-looking person" constitutes.
     
  5. imnotreallysure

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2013
    Messages:
    2,937
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Leeds, UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I find obesity to be unattractive - not just from an aesthetic point of view, but also from a health point of view. It really isn't attractive, nor is it healthy. I will say that I wouldn't want to date an overweight or obese person - for more reasons than one.

    I don't believe in shaming people for being fat, but we shouldn't condone it either, no more than we should condone people for being underweight. Both are just extremes at the opposite ends of the weight spectrum.
     
  6. Argentwing

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2012
    Messages:
    6,696
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Okay, I like that better. :slight_smile: Unfortunately, if the media is talking about people, they tend to stick to one paradigm rather than putting up a lot of different kinds of people and giving the readers a better variety of attractiveness options. :/
     
  7. the gypsy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2014
    Messages:
    125
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Heart Unlimited
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    My body is aesthetically ruined, and so perhaps I am more acutely aware of the pervasive visual focus of humans in general than the average person. Humans are sight-biased animals in any case and it is the primary sense that we rely on by default. Although perfection is no more real than any other absolute, it will always be a subjective ideal and will always be sought. Those of us who don't make the grade, so to speak, will never have anything other than the empty platitudes of those whose 'support' is simple veneer to comfort themselves and assure those around them that they're good people (majority) and the powerfully loyal and yet nigh obligatory mutual support of other defects and cast-offs.

    It is ugly and inhumane, yes. But don't spit on me for it; These things are awful but they aren't anything untrue or that those responsible can be blamed for any more than you can be angry with an organism for trying to feed itself.

    You may argue that things don't work this way, and I'll agree with you in the majority of circumstances. But the true and intrinsic beauty of humans lies in the souls of those who know what it is to be thrown away, in the same way that a person never appreciates food with the same gravity before they have experienced starvation as they do after it. It takes a lot to develop such profound empathy and blind love for a fellow person, and it is typically through great suffering that it comes about.

    That's why things like this 'sickening obsession', as you put it, are what is common and that people whose hearts are better than that are precious, scarce, and sought after.
     
  8. LiquidSwords

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2012
    Messages:
    1,231
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    I do find it appalling how female celebrities are often judged more on their appearance than how good they are at what they do. This goes for pretty much any profession too whether it has any effect on how they do their job at all. High profile female actors/musicians/newsreaders/writers/politicians/anything have their appearance picked apart by the press whilst men seem to get a free pass.

    I'd contest that weight has nothing to do with attractiveness though, but that is subjective. Either way, where a woman's physical beauty has no bearing on how well they do their job it's nobodies business to judge.

    Daily Mail website it's full of this shit daily, but I think the problem is mainly with people being interested in these stories in the first place, the media will run these stories as long as people are interested.
     
  9. Foxface

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2013
    Messages:
    1,716
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Urbana, IL
    That's what I meant. Being overweight doesn't make someone unattractive anymore than being thin equates to attractiveness. I was just saying that weight shouldn't enter into it
     
  10. QueerTransEnby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2014
    Messages:
    3,708
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Michigan, USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Mix of the two. I think the media is to blame 60/40 though because they often dictate groupthink.

    No, you got to rock what you got. What you don't have physically can enable you to have a better personality because of natural compensation. This is why so many good looking guys and girls can get away with being the "bad boy" or "bad girl". They know because of the media they can get away with it. I don't watch Glee nor care for the 2nd part of that question. No, I consider myself somewhat pansexual, but that can be based on the person's personality as well.
     
  11. Wuggums47

    Wuggums47 Guest

    To me what is truly sickening is how it makes women feel bad about their bodies. They wouldn't mock a man's tiny sliver of body fat in a tabloid. Men can be old and fat and nobody has a problem with them, but when a woman gains wait or turns 35 she becomes worthless. It's disgusting that society thinks this way, and it's reasons like this why so many women are anorexic and so few men are. It's not the consumer or the media to blame, it's our entire patriarchal society.

    I admit I would like if someone I was with was attractive, but it's hardly the most defining factor. And my definition of attractive is very different from most people's I don't want a stick thin woman with giant breasts, or a man with a super muscular body. I have my own definition of attractive that includes a lot of different kinds of people.
     
  12. SimpleMan

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2013
    Messages:
    414
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indianapolis
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I really like this picture and quote I saw in my news feed the other day. Sums up our approach to human bodies.
    [​IMG]
     
  13. Foxface

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2013
    Messages:
    1,716
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Urbana, IL
    That mirrors my feelings exactly. I come back to the Katie Holmes thing (only because her picture was part of the impetus that drove this thread)

    We are literally told that because she's gained weight, or because another woman is older, or because her looks aren't pristine that she is pretty much worth nothing...and I find that appalling. Truly appalling...
     
  14. Aquilo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2012
    Messages:
    631
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Europe
    I think you're living slightly in the past on the weight thing (the difference between age perception of males and females still applies).

    Maybe in the 50's that was true, but now the hero in movies does always have lots of muscles and no more body fat, even if it doesn't make sense (example: Geeky person has big muscles, even if that character doesn't do excessive fitness).

    More men are anorexic or have body issues than you think and there's some added shame too: 'Men don't have psychological problems like that'.

    Negative judgement like this on appearances is bad in any case, for women and males both alike (apart from medical advice from doctors).
     
  15. Kaiser

    Kaiser Guest

    Joined:
    May 10, 2014
    Messages:
    2,867
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    кєηтυ¢ку
    I feel kind of bad, because while I had an idea what this topic would be about, the following is what came to mind:

    DragonBall Z - Perfect Cell's perfect body

    All the usual sentiments and points have been made. All I can really add is, I find tabloid magazines, at best, something to laugh at, when waiting in line.
     
  16. MouseKeeper

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2014
    Messages:
    292
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Upstate, NY.
    If there was a way to like a comment, I'd like yours a million times.

    No offense towards anyone else is intended.
     
  17. asdfghjk

    asdfghjk Guest

    Today in breaking news, KATY PERRY ATE A TWINKIE..... IS SHE GAINING LOVE HANDLES??? also some ebola shit in africa and uh people dying in some middle eastern desert, again, WOW WHO IS THAT SLUT JENNIFER ANISTON FUCKING NOW??? AND SHE'S FAT, WOW
     
  18. Black Raven

    Black Raven Guest

    Joined:
    May 6, 2014
    Messages:
    908
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Would you mind stopping to impersonate todays news reports so very accurately, thankyouverymuch?