Why most "butch" gays/bi dislike effeminate guys so much?

I just have a problem with nudity or lewdness(guy wearing a dong at pride) in public period by a man or woman. Other than that, I don't care how they dress. Never done roids in my life.

 

I guess some gay guys who are obsessed with appearing macho resent the gay stereotypes which they blame on effeminate gays.

I don't think it's fair to say that's a rule for masculine gay guys though. Most would describe me as pretty masculine but none of this would apply to me, everyone can be as camp as they like!

 

Some ARE rude, but some femme people are sensitive and I don't hate them, I just don't associate with them. I would probably do the same with a lipstick lesbian

 

I'm by no means "butch", but I LOVE fem guys. Not too fem, but like metro/twink looking! <3 <3 <3

 

I don't understand it at all. Personally I think a lot of femme guys are pretty hot. I'm a lot more femme than butch myself, so that kind of person probably wouldn't like me. I think it's wrong to hate any group of people for any reason, no exceptions.

 

You realize the irony in your post right? Calling masculine guys rude then you call them "steroid freaks"

 

If someone doesn't like you, then forget about them. It's as simple as that. We can only hope they have the manners not to be rude about their preferences.

 

I just wrote something about this in a post earlier...
As a bicurious guy it's not that I dislike flamboyant or super feminine gay guys. That's more of a personality issue with me. Like I have people at school that are super flamboyant, in your face about it, obnoxious types of people and that just doesn't mesh well with my personality that is pretty low key on most occasions. If there was a flamboyant girl, I'd be turned off by her just as much as a flamboyant guy.

 

Its a social issue, obviously. Do you remember that scene from Trainspotting where he sai one day we will all be Androgenous/Male/Female??

We all know this. Take someone who isnt well adjusted to society that is gay... they want Femme.. Femme.. Femme...

But as they go on, They get kicked around,, and it really doesnt work like that...

Ive gone through 4,000 generations of this... I remember when i liked Female Romantic movies.... Then i went back and watched them again... Say anything... Save the last dance... Strawberry blonde...

And i was reminded (harshly) Why i dont like women. LOOOL

 

Super-masculine guys are often really insecure. It's part internalised homophobia, part misogyny. A lot don't like to be reminded that they're gay, that they're not "normal." Just as a lot of queer people are willing to put down Pride because they want to be just like the straight people.

At this point, a lot of people will say how they don't dislike femmes, they just find some annoying. "I can stand femmes, but some are just so flamboyant and grating." That they obviously link femininity to frivolity and being annoying if it's the first thing they come up with (as it so often is) isn't even subtle sexism/internalised homophobia. If they're annoying, they're annoying, but if you bring it up in relation to their femininity, then you're the one with the problem.

Femme-bashing is gross, and I'd rather be around a femme with all the stereotypes than someone who gender-polices others because of their own insecurities.

(I'm a masculine gay, and I have every intention of defending my femme brothers to the death)

 

Since when is this an explicitly "feminine" trait? If anything I've found a propensity toward such behaviors to be most common amongst straight, cisgendered men...



Anyhow, while I agree that the hate a lot of feminine men get is terrible, is it just me or are you being just as presumptuous in your feelings toward masculine individuals here?


I suspect I would be labeled as "masculine" (despite my disagreeing), but I have no dislike at all of feminine men. I quite enjoy their presence. There are a good many other "masculine" individuals that feel precisely the same. Need you bestow your claim upon "most" of these persons as being inherently anti-feminine?

Long story short, guess I just hate painting in broad brush strokes.

 

Although I have no idea if the majority are or not and I make no claim whether it's true or false, I think it's important to not deny that a lot of masculine men (queer or otherwise) don't like femmes, and I think it's probably worse to understate it than to overstate it.

 

Certainly agreed - I just don't like seeing an attack toward traits on either side. I felt comments by the OP were borderline nearing such an attitude.

 

To play devils advocate I think both hyper-masculine and hyper-feminine gay guys can be equally insecure, just in different ways. They can both be defence mechanisms. Obviously you've mentioned what happens for some hyper-masculine men but I think with hyper-feminine men there is sometimes a reluctance to socialize with men or an underlying fear there. I know a femme guy who cakes himself in makeup, in his case this aspect is less about self-expression and more a general insecurity about his looks (almost BDD), he always makes negative comments about his appearance god bless him.

I'm just making the point that its not a simple case of "all hyper-masculine = insecure", "all hyper-feminine = confident and true to themselves".

Firstly, if you assume people will identify as queer its no wonder they might have their backs up or disassociate themselves, its a loaded term.

Secondly, I don't believe all gay people and straight people are fundamentally different. Don't get me wrong, some people are. But this idea that all gay guys are repressing an inherent "gayness" is simply silly. What, are they all fighting the urge to dress up in drag or sing show-tunes?

You mentioned "gender-policing" but I think this is as bad. Basically if a person does not fit in with stereotypically gay culture or conversely fits in with stereotypically hetero culture then they are inherently insecure, repressed and internalized-homophobes? This is just not the case.

 

Because they're homophobic.

 

I don't find feminine guys attractive typically, and the only common ground we likely share is being gay (if they're gay at all), though I don't hate them.

 

No, it isn't, but you deliberately misrepresented it so that you could argue against a strawman.

I am masculine, I don't dress in drag and I don't have particularly stereotypical interests or mannerisms. It's about attitudes more than it is about behaviour. If someone actively separates themselves from other (I'll avoid queer, as you obviously have a big problem with it) LGBT people, especially when they move to be more like straight people, I will question why that's so. I never said anything you're making it out to be, and I think you know that.