Do you ever feel threatened by other LGBTs because you aren't "gay enough"?

Gay enough? Well, no.

Manly enough? Well, yes.

Tumblr housed these sort of people. 'Elitists,' people call them. They make me so mad.

So what if I'm okay with my nether regions? FUCK YOU.

Excuse me for my harsh language, but people who say 'you're not gay enough' or 'you're not trans enough' or whatever makes me want to violently fry an unpeeled pickle.

 

No but many don't know that I am

 

I've been told it
It really sucks
I'm too gay for everyone else too

 

Threatened seriously? No.

But I have been treated with hostility before. Once by a woman, on another forum years ago, who told me that I couldn't ever be a woman, due to being born in a male body. She went on a tirade of vulgarity and hate, and it pretty much concluded in this manner:

Her: You aren't a fucking woman, you idiot! You can't be one.
Me: I'm beginning to think you aren't actually a woman...
Her: What do you mean, you little shit? I'm CLEARLY A WOMAN!!!!!!
Me: You may roar like one, but you don't talk like a lady.
Her: Don't get smart.
Me: You're right, I don't need to -- you do.

Needless to say, she got flustered and we never exchanged comments again.

On this same forum, there was quite a bit of biphobia, too. I remember one fellow telling me, bisexuals make gay rights almost impossible to achieve. He went on and on... about how those who claim to like both genders, are actually just trying to sabotage same-sex relationships. He and I's conversation pretty much concluded, like this:

Him: Bisexuality is just a step towards staying straight, or accepting your homosexuality.
Me: So, I need to just pick one gender, and go with that?
Him: That would be preferred, yes. It would do us a huge favor.
Me: So, I need to just ignore my attraction to men, if I want to be with a woman?
Him: Yes.
Me: It's a good thing sexuality is a choice, eh? I can't imagine actually being born like this.
Him: Bisexuality is a choice!
Me: So is asininity, but I don't see you picking between it and sensible.

Needless to say, he didn't like me very much after that. LOL!

 

I feel like I'm not gay enough as well. I had one meaningless relationship with a guy at fourteen and no experience with girls.

 

I've never felt threatened by other LGBT people and it would be a serious mistake on their part to try and do that to me. Fortunately, all the LGBT people I've met thus far are really nice, although I'm not naive to believe mean ones rant out there.

Happy days

 

No. I get that I'm not "manly enough" from some straight people though. I guess I'm more of a "metro" looking guy, so some people think I'm less manly, some think I may be gay, and others just think I'm a "metro straight guy".

 

Yes, because I live a functionally straight lifestyle. But I am decidedly *not* exclusively straight in attraction, and am mostly over the feeling that I have to prove my worth to be in the club.

 

Yes, I worry about this a lot. I feel like I might be considered not gay enough to call myself a lesbian, but too gay for bisexual to convey my feelings accurately. I also worry about offending people by "mislabeling" myself, somehow.

 

I know that there are some gay guys I have not been able to befriend, and that's all I sought from them, because of both this and my "dishonesty." Maybe I don't need those kinds of friends. They're probably not friend material anyway ... at least not for me.

 

how would people define being gay enough if everyone is different me personally am not screaming gay just not me at all.

 

I have been told I wasn't really gay since I had crushes on men in the past (nothing sexual, and it doesn't happen anymore).

 

No, I'm not worried about that. I don't like the idea of stereotypes and I'd prefer to just try and be myself.

On a semi-related note: Does anyone else get bothered by people who are overly umm...well flamboyant I guess?

I can't stand it at all. I hate the stereotypical gay male because that personality to me is like nails on a chalkboard. I tried to watch Tyler Oakley on Youtube, but he's got that kinda personality and to me I just can't do that, it's irritating. I should note that it's very simliar to I guess Valley Girl ( is that the right term? ) personality and I also can't stand that.

It's just that personality type in general that I can't stand...I'd prefer the company of gamers I guess.

 

Isn't amazing that some people who really profess being tolerant and inclusive really aren't? That means they won't let you be yourself. You have to be what they want you to be ... whatever that may be.

Meh. Maybe it's just a chemistry thing and the chemistry is just not there.

 

Just because your a lesbian that dated men in the past doesn't mean you aren't lesbian enough a lot of lesbians dated men before they realized they were lesbians some were even married to men and had children . It's very foolish to think someone can't be gay just because they were in the opposite sex in the past . We live in a heteronomative society people that marks us straight at birth .

I've been told I'm not really a lesbian because I'm very feminine and wear make up .

 

I'm glad you can relate. I guess "queer" is not a bad solution if you just want a less specific identifier. Do people often ask you for more information if you tell them you're queer?

For some reason the word "queer" rubs me the wrong way. I read recently it may be a generational thing, as it carried a more negative connotation in the past.

 

Yes, I worried all the time that other gay women would not see me as gay and I would never find someone to date. If you are out in the community people will see you as gay by association, then they will approach you. Of course you will get some people who won't date you because you have been with men, but they are idiots, so you don't need to pay them any heed. It helped me weed out the losers when they did this to me, and I finally got my wife. So worth it!

 

Why do people care if you've been with men in the past I mean it's so stupid where in the now and in the now you only want to be with women shouldn't that matter .