why would EC have.... - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Antidoll · 29th Aug 2008, 06:30 PM

people older than 30 ?

not that I mind.... but I thought this place was for ... "younger" people...

I just find it sketchy. maybe it's just me

if there's an explanation I'll take it with an open heart..

and I don't mean the Advisors lol

pirateninja · 29th Aug 2008, 06:36 PM

I think this is a site for anyone over the age of 13. And as the gay guys who are refused at EC's sister site are directed here, there is a majority of teenage gay guys.

However, older guys (and gals) can have issues with sexuality, so it may be a bit mean to exclude them

. Still, although it may seem a bit "sketchy" as you say, there are lots of security measures to make sure EC is safe.

29th Aug 2008, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pirateninja

I think this is a site for anyone over the age of 13. And as the gay guys who are refused at EC's sister site are directed here, there is a majority of teenage gay guys.

However, older guys (and gals) can have issues with sexuality, so it may be a bit mean to exclude them

. Still, although it may seem a bit "sketchy" as you say, there are lots of security measures to make sure EC is safe.

consider me on pirateninja's side, i so much agree with her answer

Tim · 29th Aug 2008, 07:03 PM

Also: The support sites for people 18+ Are a lot less personal than EC, that's what drew me here, (Even though I was 18 when I joined =P)

Derek the Wolf · 29th Aug 2008, 07:16 PM

They have wisdom from experience that we "young people" don't. Even if someone isn't an advisor, they can still help us out. AND it's not like adults don't have emotional problems too.

Miaplacidus · 29th Aug 2008, 07:25 PM

EC wouldn't be the same without our older members. They bring a sense of stability here, which I've noticed isn't present on sites which intentionally ban older users. Plus, they have the same right as everyone else to have "Coming Out Resources And A Safe Place to Chat", don't you think?

The site's welcome message says:

[...] Empty Closets is a place where you can figure out who you are, surrounded by other people just like you. [...] We welcome new members of all ages from 13 upwards.[...]

Older members are as welcome as younger ones. I've explicitly looked for other sites like EC - they aren't as good, and most of them don't welcome older members. And what's the alternative? EC's sister site? That's porn, not a support site.

So, to all the older members...

Micah · 29th Aug 2008, 07:26 PM

Where does it say that EC is a site strictly for those under 18?

Psychedelic Bookmarks · 30th Aug 2008, 04:39 AM

I like having the older members. They definately improve it for me

Mickey · 3rd Sep 2008, 05:03 PM

Hey! I'm older and I agree that our ages and experiences should be a welcome thing. While I don't pretend to know everything,I think (if someone needed help,encouragement,etc),us older folks have probably been there,done that. I like to think I may be able to offer insight that a younger person may not have,yet.Remember this: Us older people helped to bring gay rights to where they are today.And...I hope that the younger people will keep it and better it for future generations.

3rd Sep 2008, 05:05 PM

Bcoz there wise (^_^)

Alexander · 3rd Sep 2008, 06:04 PM

If EC was just for under-eighteens, I probably wouldn't find as much worth in the site. Our older members give to the site something that us younger peeps can't

**Maddy** · 4th Sep 2008, 12:14 AM

I haven't been able to find any sites for over-18s that have the same community feel as EC. Everyone's welcome on this site and that's one of the best things about it.

riddlerno1 · 4th Sep 2008, 02:57 AM

im over 18 and just now finding out about being gay! where else would people my age go??

**Corny** · 4th Sep 2008, 03:07 AM

It's simple - EC is about "Coming out Resources and a safe place to chat" - it's the preamble of the website. Of course you can chat about a lot of other things, too. The intention of the website however was to create one for people struggling with their sexuality that also should be suitable for younger people. Most people have coming out issues while they are still young, but I guess everybody of us has heard of older people, and maybe even really old people having coming out problems. It's a resource for all us. And EC being pretty unique in it's approach, it attracts people of all ages - although the younger guys and girls dominate the website. but that's because it's just more of an actual topic for most of them, more younger people are using the net for problems like that, and last but not least there aren't that many websites for that age-range. which is the main reason why this website was created

**Martin** · 4th Sep 2008, 03:21 AM

It's good that they are here. I need somebody to call old whenever I am bored.

Luckily I can outrun them too.

Janvier · 4th Sep 2008, 03:30 AM

Naw, I find that the older members often give better advice, this place wouldn't be the same without you guys

Endlessnight500 · 4th Sep 2008, 03:40 AM

LOL. that pic is priceless, But I really enjoy EC. EC's sister site is nothing like EC. EC is an amazing coming out resource, and not just coming out, but I've seen all sorts of issues worked out by people on this site. Why should "older" people be denied the resource. I also wouldnt want to be denied their experiances, and wisdom.

ccdd · 4th Sep 2008, 07:37 AM

Because EC is about having a safe place to chat, and about dealing with all the problems of sexuality. These things are needed by older people too.

And I think EC is that much the better for having older people on it. I wouldn't have it any other way

**Jim1454** · 4th Sep 2008, 08:21 AM

As an 'older' person, I can tell you that this site is different from any other site I've visited when searching for 'gay' material. Honestly - every other site I've been to was for cruising and looking at porn. Perhaps there are others that aren't, but when I found EC I simply stopped looking! EC is great!

It provided me with a place to interact with other gay people, and discuss issues that were important and relevant to me as a person coming to terms with being gay. Because I wasn't out - and I'm still not to many people - I could talk here openly for the first time with other people. AND I found it VERY refreshing that it is accessible to the 13 to 18 age group - and therefore free from the other 'stuff' that is out there.

Because I found it helped me so much, I'm sticking around to help others. I like to think that I'm able to provide a perspective that your teenage peers can't - and that you might gain something from that.

While it might be 'sketchy' for some older people to be here, there is always a risk that someone older is pretending to be someone younger. That's always a risk.

**Lexington** · 4th Sep 2008, 08:56 AM

A fair question. Although it would be fairer if the OP displayed his age.

As pointed out by other posters, there are a plethora of sites for gays/lesbians over the age of 18. EC was founded not so much as a "place for teens" but rather in a spirit on non-exclusivity. I like to think of it as opening a coffee house on a street with nothing but bars. Those under 18 are naturally going to gravitate here, but there will be some older folks who come for the same reason they might go to the coffeehouse - they're not interested in a bar, they like the vibe, and they like the coffee.

>>>and I don't mean the Advisors lol

Why not the advisors? Where do you think we came from? Paul didn't phone us up out of the blue. ("Hey, gargoyle, wanna be an advisor on a gay website?" "Sounds like fun. Lemme grab my hat.") We were originally just members - still are, in fact - like everybody else.

Lex

29th Aug 2008, 06:30 PM	#1
Antidoll Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Posts: 31 Join Date: Aug 2008	why would EC have.... people older than 30 ? not that I mind.... but I thought this place was for ... "younger" people... I just find it sketchy. maybe it's just me if there's an explanation I'll take it with an open heart.. and I don't mean the Advisors lol __________________

29th Aug 2008, 06:36 PM	#2
pirateninja EC's Sailor Uranus Full Member Gender: Biologically Female Orientation: Heterosexually Challenged Out Status: Most people Location: Bath, England Age: 21 Posts: 5,853 Join Date: Sep 2007	Re: why would EC have.... I think this is a site for anyone over the age of 13. And as the gay guys who are refused at EC's sister site are directed here, there is a majority of teenage gay guys. However, older guys (and gals) can have issues with sexuality, so it may be a bit mean to exclude them . Still, although it may seem a bit "sketchy" as you say, there are lots of security measures to make sure EC is safe. __________________ Holly the Pirateninja Ars Longa, Vita Brevis.

29th Aug 2008, 07:03 PM	#4
Tim Psycho Glitter Btch Full Member Gender:* Guy, Unless Life Was a Horrible April Fools Joke. Orientation: Gay/Asexual/Confusing to Explain Out Status: Armed and Fabulous! XD Location: California Age: 23 Posts: 7,381 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: why would EC have.... Also: The support sites for people 18+ Are a lot less personal than EC, that's what drew me here, (Even though I was 18 when I joined =P) __________________ Rawr! :3 ~The Stalker User Known As Tim~ Rawr! :3 EC's Sailor Star Healer, Oxymoron and All. Star Sensitive Inferno! Sailor Starlight, Stage On! [Vic] 7:49 pm: I keep my pants off in public.

29th Aug 2008, 07:16 PM	#5
Derek the Wolf Furry Overlord Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Majority Location: Illinois Age: 20 Posts: 1,325 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: why would EC have.... They have wisdom from experience that we "young people" don't. Even if someone isn't an advisor, they can still help us out. AND it's not like adults don't have emotional problems too. __________________

29th Aug 2008, 07:25 PM	#6
Miaplacidus Cheshire Cat Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gayer than not Out Status: Everyone who asks Location: Atlantida, Uruguay Age: 22 Posts: 5,080 Join Date: Feb 2007	Re: why would EC have.... EC wouldn't be the same without our older members. They bring a sense of stability here, which I've noticed isn't present on sites which intentionally ban older users. Plus, they have the same right as everyone else to have "Coming Out Resources And A Safe Place to Chat", don't you think? The site's welcome message says: [...] Empty Closets is a place where you can figure out who you are, surrounded by other people just like you. [...] We welcome new *members of all ages* from 13 upwards.[...] Older members are as welcome as younger ones. I've explicitly looked for other sites like EC - they aren't as good, and most of them don't welcome older members. And what's the alternative? EC's sister site? That's porn, not a support site. So, to all the older members... __________________ We are all mad here.**

29th Aug 2008, 07:26 PM	#7
Micah ^_^ Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to All Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 23 Posts: 2,532 Join Date: Feb 2005	Re: why would EC have.... Where does it say that EC is a site strictly for those under 18? __________________ 　／l、（ﾟ､｡７　l、 ~ヽ　じしf_, )ノ

30th Aug 2008, 04:39 AM	#8
Psychedelic Bookmarks Helena Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Close family and quite a few friends Location: UK Age: 18 Posts: 2,195 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: why would EC have.... I like having the older members. They definately improve it for me __________________ "I refuse to recognize the terms hetero-, bi-, and homo-sexual. Everybody has exactly the same sexual needs. People are just sexual, the prefix is immaterial." (Morissey)

3rd Sep 2008, 05:03 PM	#9
Mickey Older and bolder! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Massachusetts Age: 50 Posts: 1,775 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: why would EC have.... Hey! I'm older and I agree that our ages and experiences should be a welcome thing. While I don't pretend to know everything,I think (if someone needed help,encouragement,etc),us older folks have probably been there,done that. I like to think I may be able to offer insight that a younger person may not have,yet.Remember this: Us older people helped to bring gay rights to where they are today.And...I hope that the younger people will keep it and better it for future generations. __________________ We don't choose to be gay...we're CHOSEN!

3rd Sep 2008, 05:05 PM	#10
EthanS Guest Posts: n/a	Re: why would EC have.... Bcoz there wise (^_^)

3rd Sep 2008, 06:04 PM	#11
Alexander EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Red Hook NY Age: 19 Posts: 2,736 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: why would EC have.... If EC was just for under-eighteens, I probably wouldn't find as much worth in the site. Our older members give to the site something that us younger peeps can't

4th Sep 2008, 12:14 AM	#12
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,700 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: why would EC have.... I haven't been able to find any sites for over-18s that have the same community feel as EC. Everyone's welcome on this site and that's one of the best things about it. __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.

4th Sep 2008, 02:57 AM	#13
riddlerno1 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but family Location: London Age: 29 Posts: 712 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: why would EC have.... im over 18 and just now finding out about being gay! where else would people my age go??

4th Sep 2008, 03:07 AM	#14
Corny Administrators EC Tech Admin Gender: Male Location: Germany (old europe) Age: 30 Posts: 799 Join Date: Dec 2004	Re: why would EC have.... It's simple - EC is about "Coming out Resources and a safe place to chat" - it's the preamble of the website. Of course you can chat about a lot of other things, too. The intention of the website however was to create one for people struggling with their sexuality that also should be suitable for younger people. Most people have coming out issues while they are still young, but I guess everybody of us has heard of older people, and maybe even really old people having coming out problems. It's a resource for all us. And EC being pretty unique in it's approach, it attracts people of all ages - although the younger guys and girls dominate the website. but that's because it's just more of an actual topic for most of them, more younger people are using the net for problems like that, and last but not least there aren't that many websites for that age-range. which is the main reason why this website was created

4th Sep 2008, 03:21 AM	#15
Martin EC's Red Queen EC Admin Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Merseyside, UK Age: 21 Posts: 8,038 Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: why would EC have.... It's good that they are here. I need somebody to call old whenever I am bored. Luckily I can outrun them too. __________________ The blue whale ejaculates up to 40 gallons during sexual intercourse, but only 10 gallons enters the female. Do you still wonder why the sea tastes salty?

4th Sep 2008, 03:30 AM	#16
Janvier يَناير Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: France Age: 22 Posts: 849 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: why would EC have.... Naw, I find that the older members often give better advice, this place wouldn't be the same without you guys __________________ Uncertainty excites me.

4th Sep 2008, 03:40 AM	#17
Endlessnight500 Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Location: Macon, Ga Age: 24 Posts: 192 Join Date: Feb 2007	Re: why would EC have.... LOL. that pic is priceless, But I really enjoy EC. EC's sister site is nothing like EC. EC is an amazing coming out resource, and not just coming out, but I've seen all sorts of issues worked out by people on this site. Why should "older" people be denied the resource. I also wouldnt want to be denied their experiances, and wisdom. __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hating yourself for being Gay is like hating your eye color so much you get colored contacts and never take them out. Eventualy it gets really painful, can become infected, and inflict perminante damage. When you finally accept what you can not change, and take the contacts out you will be amazed at how much better it feels.

4th Sep 2008, 07:37 AM	#18
ccdd Procrastination Queen Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: 30(ish) friends, but mostly closeted. Out to mum Location: UK Posts: 1,009 Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: why would EC have.... Because EC is about having a safe place to chat, and about dealing with all the problems of sexuality. These things are needed by older people too. And I think EC is that much the better for having older people on it. I wouldn't have it any other way

4th Sep 2008, 08:21 AM	#19
Jim1454 EC 'Dad' EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Toronto Age: 41 Posts: 7,445 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: why would EC have.... As an 'older' person, I can tell you that this site is different from any other site I've visited when searching for 'gay' material. Honestly - every other site I've been to was for cruising and looking at porn. Perhaps there are others that aren't, but when I found EC I simply stopped looking! EC is great! It provided me with a place to interact with other gay people, and discuss issues that were important and relevant to me as a person coming to terms with being gay. Because I wasn't out - and I'm still not to many people - I could talk here openly for the first time with other people. AND I found it VERY refreshing that it is accessible to the 13 to 18 age group - and therefore free from the other 'stuff' that is out there. Because I found it helped me so much, I'm sticking around to help others. I like to think that I'm able to provide a perspective that your teenage peers can't - and that you might gain something from that. While it might be 'sketchy' for some older people to be here, there is always a risk that someone older is pretending to be someone younger. That's always a risk. __________________ Jim "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

4th Sep 2008, 08:56 AM	#20
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: why would EC have.... A fair question. Although it would be fairer if the OP displayed his age. As pointed out by other posters, there are a plethora of sites for gays/lesbians over the age of 18. EC was founded not so much as a "place for teens" but rather in a spirit on non-exclusivity. I like to think of it as opening a coffee house on a street with nothing but bars. Those under 18 are naturally going to gravitate here, but there will be some older folks who come for the same reason they might go to the coffeehouse - they're not interested in a bar, they like the vibe, and they like the coffee. >>>and I don't mean the Advisors lol Why not the advisors? Where do you think we came from? Paul didn't phone us up out of the blue. ("Hey, gargoyle, wanna be an advisor on a gay website?" "Sounds like fun. Lemme grab my hat.") We were originally just members - still are, in fact - like everybody else. Lex