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What does it mean to be a gay or lesbian genderqueer?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Wuggums47, Jul 15, 2014.

  1. Wuggums47

    Wuggums47 Guest

    I've noticed some people who are genderqueer also consider themselves gay, but I've always been unclear on what gender that means they like. Can someone explain it to me?
     
  2. I'm sure it's different for everyone who has seemingly conflicting identities, but for me it's like this:

    I am DFAB, the pronouns and words people use to talk about me are female, I present mostly masculine, I bind my chest because I have some problems with dysphoria, but not to the extent that I would like to medically transition to male. Gender, to me, is inherently restrictive and I sort of have just given up on the institution entirely. That means if people were to call me by different pronouns than what they use, I wouldn't care. I feel like such a mix of gender expectations that there's no word for it, so other people can call it what they like, it's not about their views of me. Thus, I suppose I am genderqueer. (This is all just how I feel about myself.)

    But also, as long as it doesn't matter much to me what gender box people try to stuff me in, I sexually feel most akin to lesbians. I love women and I am not a man. So I'm not straight. Initially when coming out, I didn't worry about my gender issues, figuring (incorrectly) that they would work themselves out after I admitted that I was a lesbian.

    I could use the word queer, and sometimes do, to describe my sexual orientation, but that feels slightly deceptive to me because I'm not really interested in anyone who isn't a woman, with only a few exceptions.

    I think what the real confusing part about all of this is is that if I polled everyone about the definitions of all of our gender and sexuality words I don't think I could come to any kind of consensus. There are simple definitions that we go by, but they get confusing around the edges and that's why lots of people don't fit into categories neatly. Which is absolutely fine. But it also means that the words people use to describe themselves don't always fit together perfectly or explain everything just right. To me, those words are just shorthand for a general meaning, the details perhaps given in a different context or at a later time.
     
    #2 thedreamwatch, Jul 15, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 15, 2014