Empty closets is such an amazing safe haven and I love that no one here has ever told me I'm just going thought a phase. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone (*hug*) At least half of the people (people being my mother, and multiple people on other non LGBT websites) seem to think that my attraction to women is a phase. And this really aggravates me. What I find most frustrating is that even after I explain that I've always had a strong attraction to women people still try to push it aside as a phase. I try my best to just "let it go" but, when people tell you that your wrong about your identity, and try to disregard an important aspect of who you are, it not only hurts your relationship with that person, but it also hurts that you're not believed. To have emotions, feelings, and life experiences belittled and called a phase is truly upsetting. I just wish people would stop dismissing other's legitimate feelings and experiences as a phase. *and end rant*
You could counter their assertion by stating that their opinion is a well-known and common phase on the road to acceptance!
Yeah, it sucks. People do go through phases of some things, but not sexuality, probably because sexuality a biological process which is much harder to change than fashion taste. Eventually they'll come to realise they're being idiots. Don't waver. (*hug*)
I would just laugh and say, "glad you know my life better than I do." I am not even offended by that one, really(even though I clearly say it is not a phase in my come out speech). Now, if somebody says or insinuates bisexuality does not exist, then we have a problem.(&&&)
Tell them their heterosexuality is just a phase, and eventually when they are old enough and done experimenting, they will become bisexuals.
Yep yep yep. It fucking hurts alot. The road to acceptance and understanding is still a slow walk. I think everything about me is seen as a phase to most people. Everyone believes someone who has a love for fashion that falls outside of the socially accepted norm is just going through a short "phase," that it's a silly little common thing that will soon pass. It's perfectly fine if you happen to be someone who changes their style up, have at it of course, great! But not everyone does, and even "little" things like that disturb me to no end. It's as if people only see who THEY are as the end, proper product for everyone else. That anything which falls outside of that can't possibly just be who they are in any way, shape or form. May not hurt as much as something that isn't a choice, but it's amazing how many things people see as a meaningless "phase." Too bad we can't just respect other's lives.
If I were you, I would just say "well, how do you know?", as if they're an expert on the subject *sarcasm* they're not. Ask them if their homophobia is a phase as well! (kinda like the person above me)
My professor of Math said a thing like that; she said that "There are some people who in some age could be "confused" and must be helped." But actually she is such a bigot than I couldn't answer to her, in some case facepalm is the only answer possible.
I understand why my friends thought it was a phase before; I was seemingly heterosexual but just frustrated that I wasn't falling for any guys. Coming here and having a sort of blank slate has helped me immensely. The beauty of EC is that nobody here knows your story, so you can get support for how you're feeling right now and not for how you acted or thought before. It's incredibly helpful to have this space where we're less bogged down by our pasts.
You are fortunate perhaps, in having to deal with this attitude only from others, rather from your own mind, and on a daily basis, as I have to. At least you know who you are, and are comfortable with it. Although I agree that it would be very annoying, not to mention disrespectful, for others to do this to you, without just getting over it and taking you at your word.
So what if it's just a phase? That doesn't make it less real. My childhood was just a phase, I stopped being a child, but that doesn't mean I wasn't a child once. My last crush was just a phase, I'm not crushing on her anymore, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to date her.
You love who you love and are attracted to who you are attracted to. I hate labels. I believe one can be attracted to a person irregardless of gender. I have been married for ten years to a man...but for even longer than that I have been in love with a woman who I met when I was 14. In fact I loved her even before I knew my husband. I convinced myself as a teen that it was just a fluke and that I would Grow out of my love for her (as naive as it sounds) because I was absolutely terrified that I was gay. That was over twenty years ago and today I have fully accepted my love for her (we no longer talk because she is married as well and to be honest just being friends did not work...when so much attraction exists between two people). I have chosen to live the life I have and be with my husband, but I am Also comfortable with the fact that I can be in love with a man or a woman. Best of both worlds. I think the key is to be who you are, whomever that is, love whoever you chose, but be proud of who you are. No one can take that away from you. Love is love.
it's just a phase *dates a girl* it's just a phase *has sex with a girl* it's just a phase *signs on for a house together and moves across the country, together* it's just a phase *marries a girl* it's just a phase *adopts kids together* it's just a phase *age together* it's just a phase *dies buried together, happily* it's just a phase ---------- Post added 15th Jul 2014 at 05:33 PM ---------- long damn phase, huh
My heterosexuality was a phase, so is that really a good argument to make? I feel you. I've loved women since 14. I've never really had a real girlfriend (well...I had some really short term things that didn't mean much) but my attraction is real.
I think your being as upset about it as you are is just a phase...and it will last no longer than it takes for people important to you to realize that your sexuality is *not* a phase!
