Misogyny, rapes, sexism and sexual harrasment...from men.

I agree with you. It's actually pretty sexist towards men to say they can't control their urges. Any sane healthy human is capable of controlling their sexual urges without needing to rape someone.

 

I've been told all my life by my entire family, family friends, teachers and even neighbours and strangers that I better be careful because of "some men". Literally all my life. I remember being told it from the age of about 7. It terrifies me. I'm very petite, I'm 16,grown an inch in 4 years and I'm 5"0. I'm presuming that's why. I'm a "pretty little thing".

The vast majority of men can and do control themselves, but with the culture we live in shames girls and almost teaches men to behave like that. If my dog can understand no, then men can and do. Most boys and men feel disgusted and ashamed, and normally very protective over girls and angry at their own gender for behaving like that. Unfortunately it is something we just have to live with.

---------- Post added 16th Jul 2014 at 03:23 PM ----------

Oh, and in response to why I feel like women are portrayed as objects (and men seem to be portrayed as 'animals' more and more) is because of the media. Music videos, movies, TV shows, adverts, celebrities, magazines, books, articles, kids shows. But that's just my opinion

 

It's disgusting.

There is no excuse for misogyny, rape, sexism, and sexual harassment from anyone.

I'm sick and tired of hearing 'sit properly' and 'that's unladylike' - no, women can sit however they fucking please.

Why do people blame rape victims?

No is no.

Why can't people understand that?

It doesn't matter what they're wearing or whatever the hell they were doing at whatever time.

Don't stop fighting. Never stop fighting.

 

I agree with what has been posted thus far. Sexism isn't restricted to just men, and few men really think less of women, although there are still issues ingrained in our culture that will be hard to uproot, but women are guilty of having those same preconceptions. Too often do I hear something akin to:"You're my boyfriend, you're supposed to do xx and yy for your girl" or "Men are xx and women are yy", "My boyfriend doesn't even open the door for me". Women love chocolate and wine, men like steak and beer etc.

 

I hate how people say "she was asking for it" if I used the same defense for murder I would be a laughing stock. My view is raping a drunk girl is the same as murdering a suicidal one still wrong.

 

Everyone is responsible for their own actions, no matter their gender. Of course men can control themselves, and there is absolutely no excuse for rape. And someone who commits rape is a bad person, not 'just another guy'. I'm sorry you've been harassed in the past, though.

 

When a kid steal a cookie from a jar because that kid cannot resist their based desire, the kid got scolded for doing a bad thing.

When a man rapes a women because he cannot resist his based desire, people blame the women for tempting him.

Just...*facepalm*

 

I've always heard the men can't control themselves excuse I always thought when i got sexual harassment , and even attempts at rape it was my fault . It's not til now that I realized it isn't because I've often been told it's the way you dress but I dress pretty conservative and it has never stop men . I don't even tell my parents when I get harassed by men because when I told my mom and my dad they threw it back in my face like it was my fault when we were having fights . :icon_sad:

 

That sounds really sexist to both sides, really

 

reconsider your friends

 

I don't think it is a matter of man hating women. Rape is essentially the violent crime that women usually receive instead of other crimes that men receive more like assault or murder. Sex differences in crime - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Look at the table in there it's interesting. Pretty much all violent crimes happen to men far more, except for rape (which happens to women a lot lot more). According to the same source males commit 90% of crimes. I suspect that this is because of the whole alpha male bs.

The thing is that you can't just train men not to rape. Firstly because this is patronising to the majority of males who would never rape. But also because people do violent crimes because they are arseholes and you can't really train someone not to be an arsehole they will just say "f**k you".

Males are 50% of the population. That is a lot of people. You really can't generalise that many people.

"anyway, you better be careful, because you are very pretty, or someone will harm you." I don't think that this is something to be offended at. It's just a sad reflection of the society we live in. Tbh with you if someone said this to me I would be simultaneously scared and flattened. It is at least better than "You don't have to worry about being raped, you ugly."

 

Ive never got the vibe that society says men cannot control themselves. In certain areas of Africa maybe. but, im not sure where this notion is coming from. In every area of the globe there are guys who are pieces of shits, with a lower set of morals. Same goes for women
Also, i think what the person you quoted meant was a strange thing to say, or rather if you are sure he said it 'word for word' like that then he could of verbalized it in a better way. but nonetheless i believe personally you are overreacting. I believe he might of meant something along the lines of 'women who are pretty like you might need to watch out for guys who are good with words and persuading, often they have different intentions, especially during times you are under the influence.' The reason i believe that is what he meant is because it was a topic of conversation/debate.

Also, I believe there are women that are complete pieces of shit as well as men, i can go off on woman to the point it seems like i am Misogynistic, because some woman, are complete pieces of shit. its a fact of life. and the same goes for men. some men are pieces of shits. You wont find a specific reason, I suggest things like excessive Porn use can teach men to treat women like objects as well as calling respectable woman, 'Bitches' which always intrigued me. Everytime my friends say they fucked a bitch or are fucking a bitch, or this bitch and that bitch, chillin with bitches, ill ask what there name is, It makes me feel immature dealing with people who cannot just say 'woman/women/or their name' But i believe this has to do with treating woman like objects. Social groups, and expectations of being a follower and not a leader, i believe this is a variable a factor, but not the entire picture. One might grow up with a shitty mother similar to Marshal Mathers for example, and have a certain disgust for certain types of woman. I am guilty of calling some women whores/sluts/dirty if they have done something deserving in my eyes like cheating someone, or fucking over a good friend by fucking their boyfriend. But a respectable women wont be called a slut for me. i call guys out on the same grounds. and this isn't necessarily a hateful term. a couple of my lesbian friends even call themselves sluts when they are doing something wrong to there partner like cheating.
im sure you get my drift

 

While I agree that both men, women, and anyone really, can be pieces of shit, having been raised as a male (and being a hip-hop fan), I've seen way too much misogynistic alpha male rapey BS. It's not just one part of society either. The most popular song in the country a while back was Blurred Lines--a song that basically glorifies rape or forcing a woman... Because "she knows she wants it, even though she's saying no".

Three male high school students (all football players) in the Midwest gang-raped a girl, and when the boys got in trouble, the ENTIRE town shamed the GIRL because those boys were star players and now the football team was in jeopardy of losing games. Yes, it's bullshit, but people were calling that poor girl's house with death threats. After the trial, not only did the boys only get juvie for about three years, but they still got to play in games. The justice system just slapped those boys on the wrist and told society that rape isn't "so bad"...

Tip of the iceberg.

Misogyny, sexism, sexual harassment (as well its ties to racism--because more black and latina girls get raped on average than whites--let's also not forget how many transwomen get not only raped but killed or forced into the sex trade)... It's a huge problem!

All because of the way we've all been taught to view sex and gender. On that note, has anyone seen the Stop the Beauty Madness ad campaign?

Here's the link: Ad Campaign (Start Here)

I think it's really on point, but I wish there were also a few transgender examples as well. I hope more people do things like this to help point out the issues.

Also, @My Little World, unfortunately, you do have to be careful. Don't distrust everyone you see, but ya know... maybe carry some mace if you have to. It sucks that it's come to that.

 

I don't think violence is a male problem; violence is a human problem. The trouble here is, that most men happen to be physically stronger than most women. Not always, but as a general rule. And so those men who are less moral than others, tend to misuse that. It's despicable, and there is absolutely no excuse for it, not the way a women dresses, not the fact that guys have testosterone, nothing excuses it. But still, I don't think we should assume that if it were the other way around - if it were women who were the more generally physically stronger of the two sexes - that those women who lacked basic morality, would not also misuse this strength. What I'm saying is that there is nothing in the male psyche, as far as I know, that makes us inherently 'worse' or 'less moral' than women. There are good men, and bad men. There are good women, and bad women.
That's just the way it is.

Having said all of that, it annoys me also when I'm out on the train, how sometimes a girl is just sitting there minding her own business, and a guy starts trying to 'chat her up', and she feels too intimidated to just say "you know, I don't mean to be rude but I'm actually quite happy just reading my book here, so please just leave me to it, thanks". What I have seen every time, is that whether the girl likes it or not, she is now engaged in a conversation with a total stranger who I'm sorry to say is almost invariably thinking about trying to get her in the sack. Just chatting to someone, of course, is no crime, but I do wonder sometimes if girls actually would rather just be left alone, I mean if they had wanted to meet someone they would have gone to a club or something. The reason they got on the train was to travel, not get hit on by random guys.

Just so you know, I'm very aware of even such subtle 'misuses of power / ability to intimidate' employed by guys over girls, there are levels of it, some gross, some more subtle. Since I've never been that kind of guy, it has always bothered me also, to be honest.

 

Ugh I hate being attracted to men, they tend to be so violent, irrational, ruthless... of course there are great human beings that happen to be male but I don't know many to be honest.... isn't it funny how most criminals (drug dealers, rapists, murderers, kidnapers) happen to be straight guys and not LGBT people or straight women?

I don't consider myself either male or female

 

It really is. There's people blaming female victims for their actions*, male victims being ignored, and a whole slew of unfortunate implications when it comes to rape.

*Of course, there are situations/circumstances where the victim should learn to defend their self, and discouraging that because the victim is never wrong is overly idealistic (and stupid). While putting all the blame on the victim isn't right, saying that the victim is some sort of angel isn't correct, either. It all depends on the situation.

 

The only effect on me of seeing women in revealing clothing is that I would probably enjoy the view. There is ZERO justification for unwanted sexual advances even if she were naked and wearing a sign that said "have at it." The idea that women unfairly entice men with their appearance is an appalling last resort by uncivilized thugs to shift blame away from themselves.

Why is basic respect such a difficult concept?

 

Instead of accusing men of being irrational and ruthless, maybe we should ask why more men commit crime, why more men are unemployed, why men are considerably more likely to kill themselves, why men are more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs? There has got to be a deep-rooted problem causing some men in our society to result to such things. I do not believe for a second that it is innate or natural behaviour. Lambasting half of the world's population as irrational and aggressive is not going to help.

What you're saying is really just sexism against your own sex. It's no better than me claiming that women tend to be sluts (which wouldn't be an acceptable thing to say, and would probably get me banned).

 

What? now the environment is the "villain" here? men have always been the ones creating wars. When was the last time you read an article about "a female gang of rapists" or a drug cartel with only women or LGBT people? when was the last time a gang of kidnappers was leaded by only women or people from the LGBT community?

Because I'm a man myself I know what i'm talking about... sexism? probably... lying? hardly