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If a guy like sex with both,would he be bi?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by jackson thomas, Jul 17, 2014.

  1. jackson thomas

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    i have heard so many gay men still have sex with women and fantasize about them.are they bisexuals but preference for men?i know any guy can enjoy friction provided by vag and will feel good to their dick.but would it feel good to their mind?
     
  2. Candace

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    Yes, and no. You've heard of stories where the father has had a wife and kids, and comes out as gay, correct? Well, if they get pleasure from both sexes, both romantically and sexually, then yes they can be considered bi. If they just liked guys romantically, not sexually, then that could be as well. It just depends on how exactly the guy loves each gender respectively.
     
  3. Peacemaker

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    i dont quite understand the question, but were'nt you the guy that had that earlier post about asking if gay guys would be able to have sex with women?
     
  4. EvoDude

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    I agree with ElPanaChevere.
     
  5. Hexagon

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    No. Enjoying sex is not the same thing as being attracted to the person you're attracted to. Sexual orientation is which gender(s) you're attracted to, not who you enjoy sex with.
     
  6. gravechild

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    What someone chooses to label themselves is up to them, although, yes, there's quite a bit of variation under the gay umbrella. Some prefer men, so identify as gay, others can be attracted to both sexually, but only men romantically, so they'll do the same. Not everyone is completely turned off by the thought of the opposite sex, or finds nothing about them attractive.

    I just think it's a lot more acceptable for men to call themselves strictly gay or straight, so many do.
     
  7. stocking

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    I think of it this way you can enjoy sex with both but for most people who were gay or lesbian from what I heard is in the past they enjoyed sex with the opposite sex but when the started having sex with the same they enjoyed it way more than,they did with the opposite and no longer wanted sex with the opposite sex and only with the same sex from them realizing they are gay . I think if a person is out and not closeted and past the stage of accepting themselves and what not has no trouble getting dates with the same sex or finding someone of the same sex to be with and they are still seeking sex from both sexes then Yes in my opinion they are bisexual and not gay ; It really depends on the situation . There are many bisexual people that label themselves either gay or straight from according to where they lean more to and this is what creates some confusion . It begs the question if your not sexually attracted to a person or a certain sex why seek sex with them in the first place ? Is that you can't find people that you are sexually attracted to to sleep with so you use these people who you aren't attracted to to scratch your itch ? or is it deep down you are sexually attracted to them but you don't want relationships with them and your in denial about it ? . These are the questions that often pop up in my head when I see these topics . Plus being bisexual has a lot of stigma and negativity around it so I can see why very few bisexual people identify as bisexual . This is clearly at play in this situation .
    This kinda makes people who are gay look not real .
    sexually is who your sexually attracted to and who you sleep with it all counts into sexuality but depending on situation .
     
  8. Candace

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    Thank you for agreeing with me :grin:
     
  9. jahow95

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    I agree that a gay man can get physical pleasure from straight sex, but in reality if a man has sex with women because he wants to.. I don't think he's gay.
    If in a situation where both men and women are readily available and the man wants women as well as men he can't be 100% gay.

    Gay men can have sex with women for other reasons, of course: to appear straight and because there are more women available (think about prison but gay man surrounded by women) are two examples
     
  10. lowkey

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    But in reality?... but in reality you can have sex with Anyone and it could be fun, instead of pleasurable like it would having sex with the same sex if you are gay. Experimenting/curiousity/having fun ring a bell.
     
  11. jahow95

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    Behaviour does not define sexual orientation. Yes, a gay man can have sex with women and still be gay. Yes, it will be physically pleasurable just like gay sex is.

    The OP:
    But, if a man fantasizes about women and is attracted to them enough to want sex not just because of physical pleasure but because he wants to be with the woman, he is not 100% gay. That seems to be the situation that the OP is stipulating (i'm not 100% that makes sense).

    Think about your preferred sex, do you enjoy the thought of just getting your sexual organs pleasured or do you like thinking about being with them, and touching them? If you enjoy that thought for both sexes, you are bisexual. If only one, you are straight or homosexual. If neither, you are asexual.
     
    #11 jahow95, Jul 17, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2014
  12. stocking

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    I agree with this if their curious and experimenting they can be still gay

    ---------- Post added 17th Jul 2014 at 12:53 PM ----------

    I agree with this too
     
  13. Fallingdown7

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    There sure are a lot of threads like this lately
     
  14. Cap’nSerious

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    There is by the same person
     
  15. Bolt35

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    i agree, there is a difference between Sexual Orientation and Sexual Conduct.
    it's alright to ask these question if you're trying to figure out this whole process of what you're mentally, emotionally and physically feeling at the moment. i also agree with Pana, it really depends on the person.
     
  16. TurtleCat

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    Well, it depends on the circumstances, I guess?

    There have been many, many gay men who slept with women prior to coming out or realizing where their true attractions lie, for various reasons. They may have been in denial and simply unaware, since society conditioned them to think they were "straight" until one day, something happened that made them realize that, well, they weren't. Or they may have had some inkling, but repressed it because they didn't want to admit it to themselves or wanted to be accepted by society, so they tried to enjoy sex and relationships with women even though it wasn't what they really desired. And in those kind of cases, I don't think it makes these men any less gay because they might have been with women in their past. Just like with lesbians who may have been in relationships with men before they came out or realized they were truly attracted to women.

    HOWEVER... as for men who identify as gay, but continue to seek out and enjoy sex with women? Well, it's their right to identify however they want, and you'll find that everyone defines sexuality a bit differently... but personally, I think that if someone is attracted to both sexes enough to seek out sex with them and enjoy it, I think that makes them at least to some degree bisexual, even if they may not identify as such. It seems to me that people that do so and still identify as either gay or straight have somewhat of a misunderstanding of bisexuality, in that they think you have to be absolutely 50/50 to be able to identify as bisexual and if you have any sort of preference, you're not, and I don't necessarily agree with that. I think a lot of bisexuals have a preference for one over the other, and it doesn't make them any less bisexual.

    I guess it also kind of depends on how you define sexuality. I personally view sexual orientation as being primarily about who you're sexually attracted to and want to sleep with. I've seen others, however, who think that it's only about who you have long-term relationships with, or want to marry. I respect their opinion, but don't know if I agree with it. What about, for example, people who only have casual sex and have no interest in romantic relationships? I also feel that defining it that way makes sexuality seem like less of an inborn, innate sort of thing, and more of just a preference in who you want to marry. It's always seemed to me that sexual desire is a very primal, innate thing you can't control, and marital preference somewhat less so.
     
  17. happydavid

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    That's at least bi curious.
     
  18. Fallingdown7

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    I agree. I view sexuality to be about sex, and never love. I technically think a gay person can fall in love with the opposite sex and still be gay, but craving sex is something else completely. As human beings we have the capability of loving anyone and everyone that's special enough, but sexual attraction is innate and is strongly biological. So I COULD fall in love with a man and want to marry him....but I'd never want sex.
     
  19. jahow95

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    ^^^^^^^^^
     
  20. Julieno

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    Well, you can certainly enjoy sex toys and (except in some atypical cases) you won't be attracted to them, neither sexually not romantically.

    So I think you may be able to enjoy sex with the opposite sex, if you have an open mind, but it won't be different to masturbating or using a sex toy. It would just mean that you are comfortable sharing that level of intimacy with the other person and that you don't find the opposite sex disgusting.

    I had sex with a woman once as an stupid confused teen, and, while "it worked" (obviously orgasms are pleasurable), I was not even thinking about her and she did "most of the job". I consider myself 99.99% gay (I don't believe in 100%s :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:), and as a gay man I know that I would never actively search for that level of intimacy with a woman so its quite unlikely that I would ever have sex with a woman again (I am talking about gender, not sex here)

    If you fantasize about women you are probably bisexual though, or you are in denial and forcing yourself to believe that that fantasies have a sexual nature...