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Do You Like Clingy?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by JStevens96, Jul 17, 2014.

?

Would You Date A Clingy Person?

Poll closed Jul 24, 2014.

  1. Yes

    12 vote(s)
    33.3%

  2. No

    24 vote(s)
    66.7%
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  1. JStevens96

    JStevens96 Guest

    Anyone here like/dislike clingy people? Would you date a clingy person? What are your thoughts on clingy people and why?

    I tend to find clingy cute.
     
    #1 JStevens96, Jul 17, 2014
  2. Aussie792

    Aussie792
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    Clingy is not the same thing as loyal or affectionate. Clingy is possessiveness, clingy is controlling, clingy is expecting to be told everything. Clingy people are difficult to deal with in almost every way; you can't be free from them, you have to assure them, sometimes you might even have to run your schedules by them and step on eggshells to make sure they're comfortable.

    Clingy ranges from being annoying and intrusive to abuse/manipulation under another name. It's not a nice thing, and I find it one of the least cute traits possible in any of the exact forms it can take.
     
    #2 Aussie792, Jul 17, 2014
  3. tulipinacup

    tulipinacup
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    Aussie is right. I think you might be looking for a different word but I have been with someone who constantly messages me and I do the same thing for him. I think the fact that we are in a long distance relationship is the reason why we have to talk everyday just to make sure everything is ok. I do admit though that I have to keep reassuring him that everything is all right because he's the one more sensitive and weak when it comes to our relationship and I have to be the stronger person for him.
     
    #3 tulipinacup, Jul 18, 2014
  4. Hexagon

    Hexagon
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    It sounds horrible, honestly.
     
    #4 Hexagon, Jul 18, 2014
  5. flyinhernikes

    flyinhernikes Guest

    no. me and clingy people dont get on.

    i like doing my own thing, i dont want to have to update that person every single second of the day with what im doing. a text in the morning and text at night should be enough, not every day.... they should have a busy enough life to not want to wonder what im up to every waking moment too. so, if youre clingy i would suggest you dont have much of a life outside of your relationship and that isnt healthy, no offense. its what happened in previous relationships ive had, i just couldnt hack it i needed someone more independent.
     
    #5 flyinhernikes, Jul 18, 2014
  6. Chip

    Chip
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    Nobody healthy is going to want to date a clingy person. Why? Because clingy behavior at its root comes from insecurity, low self-esteem and shame. The clingy person is that way because, deep down, s/he doesn't honestly believe that s/he is worthy of love and affection. S/he won't ever believe that a partner really, truly loves him or her, because, at the root, s/he doesn't believe s/he deserves someone who does.

    The result is that no matter what, the clingy person isn't going to be healthy to be around because of the other behaviors and patterns that go with low self esteem and shame. That can manifest as jealousy, constant need for reassurance, overly controlling behavior, constant fear that the other person doesn't love him or her, and, often, depression, anxiety, and other factors.

    So anyone who wants to be with a clingy person is someone who, him or herself, doesn't believe that s/he deserves to be with a healthy person... and the relationship, while it might hold together at some level, perhaps out of desperation on both parts, will be extremely dysfunctional and will never be based on mutual respect, love, and self-love, all of which are crucial for a healthy relationship.

    The good news is... a clingy person can become a healthy person *if* s/he is willing to commit to doing the self-work to let go of the shame and low self esteem driving the clingy behavior. That means going into the fears, the underlying false beliefs driving the shame (most of which come out of family-of-origin or issues growing up) and working through and letting go of the false beliefs.

    I realize that may not be the answer you were looking for, but I think it might be the one you need to hear :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Chip, Jul 18, 2014
  7. Tim

    Tim
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    I think the issue here is people's definitions of clingy will vary.

    Like, there's stalker clingy, but then there's just wanting to be around someone they like clingy, and everything in between.

    The responses in this thread kind of prove that, as most of them describe a different type of person when they reference clingy.
     
    #7 Tim, Jul 18, 2014
  8. Caillin

    Caillin
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    No, honesty id never date a clingy person. I have my own life and I could not see myself changing my lifestyle to revolve around a person completely.
     
    #8 Caillin, Jul 18, 2014
  9. all paths

    all paths
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    lol no.

    No, I don't.

    [​IMG]
     
    #9 all paths, Jul 18, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2014
  10. White Knight

    White Knight
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    I pity clingy people.

    I believe everyone should be able to stand on their feet to some extent. I actually like to help that kind of people as life is about sharing, especially with friends and family.

    Cligny = Parasite (like a tick, flea, lice and tapeworm which I doubt anyone can find "cute")
     
    #10 White Knight, Jul 18, 2014
  11. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    No.
    When I have a crush on someone, I admit I can get very attached, but I still think they deserve their breathing room. I wouldn't want someone who tries to take my free time away and is overly jealous.
     
    #11 Fallingdown7, Jul 18, 2014
  12. Aubu

    Aubu
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    No. It freaks me out when people won't let me have my space. If I liked someone and they turned out to be clingy, I would have a panic attack. We couldn't even be friends. The idea of someone that would cling to me scares me.
     
    #12 Aubu, Jul 18, 2014
  13. Brodie

    Brodie
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    I guess I will be honest and say when I was younger I think I was far more clingy then I am now. I did really like to get texts and phone calls and I did wait for the communication to start and the reassurance. Parasite, I am not sure. Maybe to some they would of found me horribly annoying and a little too much, and I understand that now. I think when you are in a better place you enjoy your own company just as much as anyone else's and I like that.

    I wouldn't control or manipulate anyone, not to say it couldn't of got that far I don't know, but I wouldn't of done that intentionally. I think like most people when I finally found someone who I could talk to I liked to surround myself with them because they were interesting and new.

    Just another prospective, I don't always think clingy people are bad, you just need boundaries and need to be self aware of how you come across I think.
     
    #13 Brodie, Jul 18, 2014
  14. MissRanger

    MissRanger Guest

    I don't really like clingy people sometimes since it can feel suffocating and annoying. I don't think I could date a clingy person because it can be exhausting.
    I've had friends who were clingy and I think they can be annoying from time to time but I just try and set my boundaries with them (not directly but sometimes I give them hints when I don't want to be bothered).
     
    #14 MissRanger, Jul 18, 2014
  15. Bolt35

    Bolt35
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    I agree with what aussie said.

    i don't really like clingy people that much, whether it'd be dating or friendship. i've dealt with quite a number of them before and i guess i scared em away because i ended up being a bit too honest with them >_<
     
    #15 Bolt35, Jul 18, 2014
  16. Jenna0780

    Jenna0780
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    I like someone who wants to spend time with me, and is affectionate. But I also like someone who realizes that I'm not the same person as them, and therefore I probably like other things, no matter how much we may have in common. I'm a person who likes time to myself every now and then. It's not that I'm annoyed, or antisocial, or embarrassed of that person. However, I like to reflect on my own life and make sure that I'm still where I want to be, and that I'm keeping up with my own needs. I like someone who doesn't mind giving me that space, if only for a little bit, and can find something or someone to keep them occupied if they don't need the same time to themselves.
     
    #16 Jenna0780, Jul 18, 2014
  17. TheStormInside

    TheStormInside
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    Definitely not. I'm a person who requires a good deal of "alone time" and I'd need someone who would not only respect that but be comfortable with it. Dating a clingy person would make me feel suffocated, and them feel neglected.
     
    #17 TheStormInside, Jul 18, 2014
  18. ahardlife

    ahardlife
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    I went out with a clingy guy he was a really nice guy but i needed more space its not attractive being needy.
     
    #18 ahardlife, Jul 18, 2014
  19. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    No , I use to think it just meant affectionate but I know now that's not what it means
     
    #19 stocking, Jul 18, 2014
  20. Acm

    Acm Guest

    Clingy relationships are almost always unhealthy so no
     
    #20 Acm, Jul 18, 2014
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