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real bisexual vs fake bisexuals?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by stocking, Jul 18, 2014.

  1. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    On other forums and even on this one I would often hear people say your not a real bisexual
    if your not attracted to men and women equally and people would go around calling other bisexuals who leaned to more to one gender fake bisexual even though they had attraction to both sexes , I've often met gay and straight people who believe bisexuals always want both sexes at the same time and what really worries me is there kinda using a negative stereotype to discreet other bisexuals .Then there is the men can't be bisexual saying as I was told by a straight man that bisexual men later come out as gay or that there are very few bisexual men in the world And the only time a person can be believed to be bisexual is if the person is a woman that likes men more then no one questions her bisexuality but if she's a woman that's attracted to both sexes but only want to date women she's seen as not bisexual . I wonder if some of these types of thinking are formed from negative stereotypes of bisexual people even though we often hear people correcting people on the stereotypes they still use them when determining if someone is bisexual .
    what's your take on it ?
     
  2. biAnnika

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    I've not heard the "your not bi if you're not 50/50" thing on this Site. I hear very little lack of bisexual understanding on this site (although loads of people seem confused about whether they are bisexual based on these things, I've never heard anyone state these things as facts...more asking questions).

    Yes, of course all of your examples are based entirely on negative bisexual stereotypes.

    Now a question for you: you post more about bisexuals and bisexuality than any other non-bi-identifying person I've known. What is the basis of this interest for you?
     
  3. Candace

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    I don't think it's like that at all. I've said this before, but it's how you're attracted to them too. The "equally attracted thing" is invalid as a result. You can be romantically attracted to women and be sexually/romantically attracted to men and still be a bisexual, if that's the aptest term you can use.
     
  4. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    Well i had a female friend that was bisexual and she was often bullied and treated badly because of it and these stereotypes were used against her very often , she would often be crying to me on the phone about how people made her feel . I also dated a few bisexual women , had a few bi friends online that pretty much went through hell so I try to be strong and fight for them because back then no one would .
    I don't hear it often on this site but on a few threads with questions I have heard this on this site but not very often but I have seen it a few times but most of it is what I've heard on other sites .
    But do you think because I'm not bi I should not care when people in my community are being treated poorly ?

    ---------- Post added 18th Jul 2014 at 10:25 AM ----------

    Yes I've heard you say it , I don't often hear this ignorance on this site but it comes up a few times or it's at least hinted but never said all the way . But I've seen it more on other sites I've visited , So I'm not blaming EC or anything this is just about what some people say in general and those were just examples
     
  5. Fallingdown7

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    I think It's bullshit and It's negative stereotyping
     
  6. gravechild

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    No one has the right to decide whether or not a person is bisexual except for the person labeling themselves.

    I think bisexuals also tend to get a lot of heat from both sides, as they're seen as somewhat of an intermediary between an oppressed group, and a dominant group, similar to half-castes. In the LGBT community, they're told they're "privileged" and have advantages common to heterosexuals, while with the heterosexuals, they're told they don't exist, they should forget about or deny their same-sex attractions, or simply "go all the way".

    In a way, it's the same thing when you have a gender-ambiguous individual. People immediately start to feel uncomfortable, and their first reaction is to figure out where this person fits in the binary: boy or girl? Because we're not easily grouped into either side, it's a lot easier to forget we exist, or "choose" for us. Of course, once they do find out, they'll start pressuring said person to "fit in" like a good boy/girl.

    When you take into account how much has been built on the "us vs them" paradigm, and how someone who decides they'd rather not fit into either side, they become a source of those tensions and prejudices, a manifestation of "the enemy" or "other".
     
  7. stocking

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    me too and that's what I can't stand about it it's all based on stereotypes .

    ---------- Post added 18th Jul 2014 at 10:38 AM ----------

    I think bisexuals shouldn't have to prove anything to anyone and should date whoever they want but it shocked me that other bisexuals on this site (Not EC everyone) were attacking each like the your not bi enough it's crazy .:confused:
     
  8. alwaysforever

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    Definitely negative stereotyping. What right does anyone have to tell someone else what their orientation is? I call shenanigans.
     
  9. asdfghjk

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    *gets toolbox* alright open your mouth and put your arm out, we're gonna test for real or fake bisexuality now; say AHHHHHHH

    ---------- Post added 18th Jul 2014 at 09:42 AM ----------

    your bisexuality test came out negative. sorry, you have been lying: you are not actually bisexual, you big faker!!!!
     
  10. biAnnika

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    Never said anything remotely like that. I was asking about the basis of your interest, not decrying or invalidating it. Thanks for the answer.
     
  11. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    sorry for getting upset
     
  12. Hexagon

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    ^
     
  13. Nightdream

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    Stereotypes... They're even here on EC, a place created with the purpose of supporting LGBT people...
     
  14. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    Just recycled stereotypes
     
  15. Damien

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    I think folks should just leave us bisexuals alone, and stop trying to get into our heads with all this. Whatever our preference is, whether we lean more to one side, or the other; and whether that shifts from time to time - the reality is, if someone can be attracted to, and want to have sexual relations with, either sex - they are bisexual, period. That's 'real' enough for me.
     
    #15 Damien, Jul 18, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2014
  16. happydavid

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    I believe it's up to the individual on how t identify themselves.
     
  17. wolf of fire

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    I think when you enjoy like two things it is never in an equal split so there will be some bisexuals who prefer one gender over the other, you can't decide if someone is a fake anything based on stereotypes,
     
  18. Haddz

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    I just treat people as I know them; some I get along with and some I don't. There is no right answer to peoples sexuality except there own. I used to think there was hard line, but I learned differently. Who you are attracted to is fine and nothing to be ashamed of. There is no right or wrong way... Just be you!
     
  19. QueerTransEnby

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    I honestly say that I love your threads. Your posts give me hope each and every time. I try not to toot our own horns because it seems so self-serving. I look at it this way: the people who turn the tides in equality are straight allies. The individuals who are gay men and lesbians have the ability to change the negativitiy towards bi people. We can do our part to stick up for the trans. community. LGBTQA-we are all in this together. Let's work together for unity.
     
  20. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    I hate ignorance and negative stereotypes being spread around about different sexualities , I often butt heads with people because of it. I'm also a very protective person