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Tired of some other people coming out when it isn't "necessary"?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by MissRanger, Jul 20, 2014.

  1. MissRanger

    MissRanger Guest

    I may sound bitter here but there are times when people are coming out redundantly. I see post on Facebook like "I am bi-sexual blah blah" and sometimes I think is it really necessary? I'm not saying we should hide our sexual orientation but I don't see the need to publicly announced it. Why can't it be simple like changing your interest from men (if you are a gay guy) vice versa? Or just telling others if they do ask for your sexual orientation/identity. I don't know maybe I'm just annoyed at the teenagers at my school doing it for attention. My intention is not to offend anyone here but just stating my opinion. What are your thoughts?
     
  2. lowkey

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    eh i mean, maybe for them it is groundbreaking and important so why try to rain down on their sunny day?

    the only time i dont like a status is when people use it as such
    "Dont text me im pissed." and just making statuses as if it is a form of therapy. i think stating your bisexual is a little different and a positive step for said person
     
  3. Wuggums47

    Wuggums47 Guest

    If it bothers you to see people posting about coming out, this might not be the website for you. People don't do it for attention. Maybe you did it for attention, but I did it because I felt like if I didn't I was going to explode. It was driving me crazy having everyone assume I'm straight.
     
  4. BradThePug

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    I can understand where you are coming from, but at the same time, for that person, it may be a groundbreaking event for them. That is not for you to judge. Just because a facebook announcement is not something that you would do, does not mean that you should negatively judge those who do them. Social media plays such a big role in society now that I would be surprised if people did not use it to come out.

    My signature says what it says for a reason, if nobody ever came out, then where would we be now? One of the reasons that the public opinion of marriage equality has shifted into our favor is because of people that have made themselves more visible. I read a stat somewhere that says that most people know someone who is LGBT. This has helped the public opinion of LGBT people become more positive over time.

    Now, I'm not saying that you have to post announcements on facebook, but what I am saying is that those who do usually have a lot of courage. And sometimes, those who do change minds about LGBT people.

    Now, I don't think that's something that should be seen negatively.
     
  5. There's this really common belief that people who come out of the closet are 'over-sharing' or just doing so for the attention and I guess I get where that comes from, but it's really not true. Straight people love talking about being straight, they just don't notice that they're doing it--and neither does anyone else, because it's assumed you're straight until proven otherwise and straight people are so much of what we see in media or in day to day life even.
    When a gay person, for example, mentions or in any way shows their "gayness" for lack of a better word, it's not more of an "overshare" than Joe StraightGuy talking about going to his girlfriend's grad party this weekend. It's just more noticeable when people say something that indicates they are not straight.

    Straight people talk about being straight all the time. They indicate it a hundred times a day by just being themselves and not hiding--because they have never had to consider their straightness or anyone else's. It's just assumed. It's the default in society's eyes.

    Straight people might talk about who they think is attractive or what their girlfriend or boyfriend is doing this weekend or any other thing that subtly sends the message that they are straight and no one bats an eyelash because "everyone is straight" is so engrained in our worldview that if you don't fit that category you're going to get noticed.

    The thing is, it's okay for gay/bi/pan/whathaveyou people to talk about their sexual orientation too. It's just what all those straight people do every day. The idea that we have to be hush-hush about it or we're quote-unquote shoving it in people's faces is bogus. If that's the case, then I'm gonna go ahead and say pretty tired of people shoving their heterosexuality in my face. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Peacemaker

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    LOVE THIS!!! :slight_smile::eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:thumbsup: THANK YOU!
     
  7. BryanM

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    Each coming out process is unique. Some people feel the need to publicly come out, like I did. Others are just comfortable telling their close associates and are fine with just that. Neither one is wrong or right.
     
  8. stocking

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    I don't think their doing it for attention maybe this is the best way they know how
     
  9. An Gentleman

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    I could see your point if they mentioned it in every other sentence.
    "You're really good at playing the trumpet, and I'm bisexual!" "I'd like to check these books out, please. Did you know that I'm transgender?" "I'm a Kinsey 6! Anyone who uses Rohan Kishibe in JJBA: All Star Battle is a scrub.No items, Fox only, Final Destination!"

    However, if they're just coming out to everyone publicly and they're not spamming everyone's emails/walls/dashboards/[insert newfangled social media hub here], I wouldn't call it "attention-seeking".
     
  10. PlantSoul

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    I try to see this sort of thing from both sides. I do get what you are saying, but you have to understand that to the person who is coming out, doing so is very important to them. I've certainly thought about doing something similar, but I always stop and rethink because I don't want people to think that I am being dramatic and vying for everything underneath the sun. *sigh* If you've ever been in the closet, you should understand what it is like to have everyone categorize and pressure you into fitting a mold that you don't belong in. It's stressful, irritating, unbearable, (etc.) The coming out is supposed to let all of these negative things wash down the drain and put the light on who you really are. If society didn't pressure people in such a way, people wouldn't have to come out like this.
     
  11. Hexagon

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    I don't see why it has to be necessary. It just is. Some people like to be known as they are by the world. Not entirely necessary, but it sure can be nice.

    I don't see why it's necessary to not come out either. Surely by that logic, one should come out.
     
  12. Browncoat

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    Out of curiosity, do you also go about announcing mundane things on facebook and whatnot?




    Sure, I don't see it is necessary - but frankly the vast majority of things we do in this society are not necessary. Why do we do it? Because we can. I personally don't like the current social aspect of this society either, but whatever - it's not hurting anyone.
     
    #13 Browncoat, Jul 21, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2014
  13. florence2000

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    Most of the time is is necessary in my opinion. I hate it when people see me as something I am not, which is a reason why I have to get out of he closet soon. Also some find it easier to just tell everyone however they find it easiest. It is there sexuality and it isn't hurting you by them strongly promoting(?) their sexuality in a positive way.
     
  14. Black Raven

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    Spot on.
    Thank you for taking the time to write this post! :thumbsup:
     
  15. Pie

    Pie Guest

    I don't think people seek attention when they post a facebook status like "I'm gay", "I'm bi",... They just want others to know who they really are.
     
  16. Greeley

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    I do understand where you're coming from tbh to some extent.
    I've seen many people kind of "flaunt" their sexuality to the point where you could easily class it as attention seeking.

    Personally, when i came out, i didn't want EVERYBODY to know, but my boyfriend wanted it to be "facebook official" (but thats only because he has A LOT of friends and they all wanted to see me so it was just easier doing it that way tbf) So i changed my status to gay and in a relationship with him but made sure not to "Public Post It".

    So IF people want to see who i'm with or what i'm interested in then they can. I'm not hiding but i'm not THROWING it in their face.
     
  17. Biboy1995

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    I didn't even publicly anniversary it on Facebook once my family knew I just accept the relationship request off my boyfriend and then only people that I'm close friends with noticed and asked me about it
     
  18. Cass

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    I applaud people who can publicly post it. I would never have the guts.
     
  19. phoenix89

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    Same for me. I try and I couldn't. If some asks or it comes up I will say something, but other than that, I ca't really.