I can't stand dating. I can't stand going to hang out with someone who I don't really know in order to get to know them. The only successful relationships I've been in were with people who I was friends with first. Is anyone else the same way? What do you do?
Yeah I have a really hard time opening up to people I don't know. There has to be some sort of connection where I know them well before I even consider dating(not that I have ever dated anyone). I just avoid it and focus on doing what I enjoy or making friends. No one has every asked me out and I have always been turned down. Not just turned down, but told that I was in no way attractive. I just sort of gave up.
Meh. Dating. It makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward, but I haven't actually dated much so it could be to do with that.
Dating makes me anxious and stressed. I've had three relationships and all of them we were friends in advance. None of them really included many formal "dates." Mostly just talking and hanging out.
It's a hit or miss for me. If I generally know the person and am recommended by a person, such as a good friend, to go out with this person, then I'll go out. I hate blind dates. Not in a million years. A date after talking with a guy for months? Sure, why not?
I generally don't like dating. In general (not just romantically) I either connect with someone or I don't. If I don't, I really can't make small-talk with them. Which has the potential to make dates incredibly awkward (i.e. silent)...
Same. I have to know someone before even wanting to go out with them. I have also never been asked out. One of my friends said I was too shy which is why I guess. I do know how to open up, but only to a select few. I tend to start having feelings for people and then I get nervous because I never know if they have feelings for me which makes me not want to ever bring it up-like right now. A friend of mine told me I need to just try things and stop worrying about what others may think. Sometimes I agree, but I can think about things rationally and at times I just can't let someone into my world.
I once read in an article that often people we like, tend to like us, too (Iike in a friendly way). Tried that out and found it mostly to be true.
Yeah, definitely. I think that most of the dates I've been to didn't seem like dates at the first glance (only if they were defined as one, but that's really rare). So, you're meeting your acquaintance/friend and when you realize it is supposed to be a date (it's not that hard) you either like it or not. Like you said, the best thing you can do is to become a friend with a person first and then, who knows.
Dating is a game, it is a contrived activity for the purpose of facilitating an encounter with a total stranger. What's scary about it is that you don't know the other person. But what is currently wrong with dating is that we are very poor at the game of seduction and we are impatient. You mentioned that you preferred being in a relationship with someone who was a friend first...so I have to ask: how did you first meet your friends? Dating, properly considered, is a way to meet a potential friend first. It could evolve into something more, or maybe not; but gaining a friend is no small thing! I find that the problem with dating, or rather, the perception of what dating should be is that there is such a weight of expectations placed upon it, so heavy with the possibility of "something" in the future that the present moment is almost an afterthought. The purpose of dating is to get to know the person, you should talk less and listen with your whole body and soul, the more you know, and the more you like about what you know...the closer you are to friendship...and as you learn yet more of the good in that person, the closer you are to love. All of this takes time, as it is with your close friendships.
Its the rejection that discourages me from dating. I see no harm in it, actually I quite like the idea of going out for dinner on a night with somebody - provides company is nothing else. You don't have to see them again, and they (if they're any good) will offer to pay the bill which is an important sign. I tell myself this and still wont sign up to match or whatever its called.